Fix You

Harry made complete sure to avoid Sirius at all costs over the next few days. This proved to be extremely hard as they were currently living underneath the same roof. He spent most of his time locked in his room, listening to music and getting fucked up or talking to his friends on webcam. Sirius remained locked in his room most of the time while Snape was always in the library reading boring looking books about Potions.

Ron and Hermione had both written to share their O.W.L. results and ask how the past few days had been. He replied to them both, telling them all about his results and how he didn't even know how he had managed to achieve four outstandings. He had purposely avoided the question about how his time with Sirius was going. He had absolutely no desire to tell them about all that had happened after they had left on his birthday. They really had grown apart.

Whatever had gone down between Sirius and Remus must have been pretty bad as the wolf had not been back over once, even though Harry knew that he stayed here more than he did his own home half of the time.

On the rare occasions that Sirius and he crossed paths in the hallway or inside of the kitchen, he noted how completely miserable the other man looked. He was beginning to consider forgiving him, but he had no idea how to approach him after what had happened.

A knock sounded on his door and he jumped violently before calling "come in", not even bothering to hide the lit cigarette currently in his hand. It turned out to be Remus, looking extremely uncomfortable for some reason.

"Err…can you please come down to the sitting room for a moment? Sirius and I would like to speak with you."

Well, no wonder he had looked so nervous and uncomfortable. He must have known that getting him to be in the same room as his godfather would be a job in itself.

"I don't want-"

"I know, Harry. I know that you don't want to have anything to do with him right now. I just got done hearing all about what happened the other night and I am one hundred percent on your side. He was in the wrong and he damn well knows it. You must also realize how badly he is hurting right now. You are the only family he has left and you won't even acknowledge his existence. I know how badly he hurt you, but can you please try to forgive him?"

Harry sighed deeply, allowing him a long moment to think and process. Sirius had hurt him badly, but everybody deserved a second chance, right? It wasn't like the other man didn't regret his actions. It wasn't like he hadn't spent the past few days completely miserable. He was beginning to feel extremely bad at how harsh he had been. He needed to find a way to go down there and let the man know that he was forgiven, but how?

He took a last drag from his cigarette before stubbing it out in the paper cup he had been using as an ashtray, knowing that Remus was closely watching his every single move.

"Better not let Sirius catch you smoking. He has no problem with Marijuana, but he absolutely despises cigarettes. I'm just warning you now before you find out the hard way."

That was odd. You'd think that Sirius would have more of a problem with the drugs than with the nicotine. People were strict about the weirdest shit sometimes.

He nodded in understanding before leading the way out of the bedroom. He paused only briefly at the bottom of the stairs before continuing on into the sitting room. Remus took a seat next to Sirius on the couch and Snape was already sitting in the armchair closest to the fireplace.

Harry sat down in the only remaining chair, wondering why the hell they were all gathered in the room like some sort of interrogation was about to happen at any moment now. He couldn't stand the silence anymore and he broke it by deciding to tell his godfather the truth about his sexuality.

Sirius cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak, but Harry beat him to it. "Sirius….I need to tell you something. Only I'm nervous about it because you see, you're the only real family I have. My aunt and uncle sort of know about this thing I'm about to talk to you about and they belittle me for it. I need you to not do that, no matter how you feel about it, because I can handle it from anybody else, but not you."

His godfather nodded slowly, eyebrows knit together in curiosity. Harry got up and came to sit on the coffee table only inches away from the couch in which Sirius and Remus currently occupied.

"Sirius…I'm gay." His eyes widened in alarm as the two men glanced at each other and burst out in insane laughter. It took them many long moments to get it under control, enough time to allow him to grow extremely curious about what the hell was suddenly so funny.

He cast a glance over at Snape during this. He didn't even look curious in any way, just extremely bored and annoyed.

"I'm sorry...you know, for laughing. We are not making fun of you. Merlin knows, we are not making fun of you. It's…it's just…" He looked down and noticed that the two were holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world. He looked back up questioningly.

"This is what we needed to talk to you about. We are in a relationship. We have been for many months now, but this one over here-" He threw a pointed glance at Remus. "This one over here has been too afraid to tell anybody. We still have not gotten around to telling many people, but we figured you and Snape should know considering we're all living underneath the same roof and Remus has been practically living here for the past few months."

Harry was beyond shocked, but this did not render him blind. He had noticed the way that Sirius had given Snape a look as he had said this. It almost looked like some kind of warning. He had also noticed the way Snape had looked confused for a short moment before nodding his head up and down so little that you could barely tell he was moving it at all.

Deciding he would get to the bottom of that look later, he focused his attention back on his godfather. Obviously, he did not care that the two men were in a relationship. What he was concerned about was his godfather's happiness. He hoped that Remus would make him happy because Merlin knows Sirius had experienced enough hurt in his lifetime.

He watched the two men sitting on the couch closely. They were still holding hands, but Remus now had his free arm wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly. He watched as he leaned up to whisper something in Sirius's ear and the other man smiled broadly, whispering back.

He cleared his throat to grant their attention. "I...I think it's great that you two are together. I am really happy for you two. Just don't ever have another fight like the other night." He said the last part with a laugh, but it was the farthest thing from funny

Sirius suddenly moved away from the couch and came to kneel down in front of the arm chair that he was currently occupying.

"Harry...I am so sorry about the other night. My actions were unforgivable, I know that. I don't blame you if you hate me and never wish to speak to me again. You and Remus are my family, you must understand that. I love you both more than anything and I want to make things right again. And I also want you to know that I would never lay a hand on you. What those Muggles did to you was inexcusable. If I would have known just how bad things were, I would have done something to get you out of there sooner."

He whipped his head around and cast a look at Snape, who merely raised an eyebrow. What the fuck had he told them? He had absolutely no right to say anything!

He gave Snape the dirtiest look he could muster before turning back to Sirius

. "I forgive you." He said, pulling him into an extremely long hug. He felt a hand grasp his shoulder and glanced up to find that Remus had joined their little hugging fest.

Harry distinctly heard Snape stalk from the room mumbling about how this wasn't the fucking Brady Bunch. He had to try extremely hard to laugh at the comment as he wondered how Snape even knew about a Muggle television program.

They finally broke apart and Remus yawned rather loud and drowned out. "Well, I am extremely tired. I think I'm going to go take a nap. You coming?" Remus asked Sirius who nodded and followed him out of the room.

Harry had a feeling they were going to do a little more than take a nap. He blanched at the thought and decided to go sit on the steps with his laptop as he would rather not be in the house while they were doing...whatever.

The smell of weed hit his nose the moment he cracked open the giant oak door. He almost died from shock as he glanced down and realized that it was coming from Snape. The older man was sitting on the bottom porch step holding a tiny rolled up joint in between his middle and index fingers.

Snape glanced up and him, but then looked right back down, unconcerned with his presence. "Don't look so shocked, Mr. Potter." He drawled, taking a long hit. "I am sure that you are quite familiar with this particular substance."

"What would make you think that?" He asked, coming to sit down one step above Snape.

He turned to roll his eyes rather dramatically and give him a look that plainly said not to attempt to deny it any longer. "I have been smoking since I was fourteen years of age. I can tell when somebody is a smoker or not."

He nodded, but didn't say anything else. Snape took another hit and he was surprised when he outstretched his arm to pass the joint over to him. He took a tiny puff, letting the smoke slip out through his nose. This was weird, smoking pot with a teacher. Especially a teacher like Snape. They passed it back and forth between them, engaging in light conversation.

Once it was finished, Harry pulled his shrunken duffel bag out of his pocket. "Do you want to go back in or do you want to smoke something even better?"

"I don't feel like hearing your godfather and Lupin thrashing around like a pair of wild Banshees. So, if you will..." He pulled out his wand and cast a silent unshrinking charm on the matchbox sized duffel bag.

Harry grinned and pulled his bong out.

Thirty minutes later found them still on the front porch, only extremely under the influence. It was swiftly growing darker with each passing moment and the stars were beginning to come out.

Nobody knew it, but Harry absolutely loved Astronomy. He thought it was the most beautiful and romantic thing. Nobody knew that he was a sucker for romantic things like poetry and the beach and candlelight and picnics and acoustic guitar and singing either. He would die before he let that one get out to anybody.

They had smoked four bowls of pure Dro and they were both completely blown at this point.

He was in that stage of high where his whole body was numb and he would occasionally twitch every now and then. He could hardly remember his last thought and he knew he would have trouble standing up when the time came to go back

Although Sev-Snape would never admit it, he was perhaps past the point of blown at this point in time. He was behaving in a very un-Snape like manner, mumbling incoherently about how hungry he was and chain smoking a pack of cigarettes he had produced from Merlin knows where. His eyes were so dilateds and bloodshot that they almost looked as if they were completely closed.

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head. Why the hell had he almost called Snape by his first name just then? Even if it was just in his head, it was still weird and made him feel extremely uncomfortable to be in his presence.

He leaned back until he was lying flat on his back staring up at the sky. Snape barely took time to glance in his direction before doing the exact same thing, rather dizzily if he was not mistaken. He had scooted over as he had lain down next to him and they were now extremely close to one another. Their heads were three inches apart at the most and he could smell a calming lavender scent coming from him.

"It's so beautiful." He said aloud, staring up at the sky in awe. His high had boosted his senses and everything appeared to be fuller of color and easier to see than before.

He was surprised to hear Snape's voice as he had not expected him to reply to such a "Gryffindor-like comment" to put it in the man's own words. "Yes, it is." He caught himself smiling against his will as the two lay side by side, staring up at the stars.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You already did." He remarked, taking a puff from a lit cigarette.

Harry reached over and lightly batted Snape on the arm without even really thinking about the consequences until after the fact. To his surprise, he was not hexed and the man even nudged him back a little bit, but Harry strongly suspected that he was too stoned to move too much.

"Go on and ask your question you little imbecile. I haven't got all night, you know."'

"Okay, forget it. I wouldn't want to keep you away from hearing the screams and moans as you open the front door."

Snape had a odd look on his face and was making rapid gasping sounds. For a moment, Harry started to get worried, but he soon realized that the man was attempting to hold back his laughter. He eventually failed and laughed aloud, startling Harry. This only suceeded in making him laugh and Snape start laughing even harder. Before they knew it, neither of them could stop laughing, the weed probably playing a small influence in that.

Things eventually settled down and the two turned to stare at each other for a long moment, neither daring to break the gaze. Snape had an odd look on his face as he looked at him for the longest time. It wasn't a bad look, but Harry was confused as to what the look meant. It had been soft and caring and full of wonder. Nobody had ever looked at him like that before.

Their staring contest ended and things grew serious once again. He took a deep breath before asking the thing that had been on his mind ever since that day in Diagon Ally.

"The other day...when you said-when you said that you'd be a hypocrite to say a word against being gay...did you mean...are you gay?"

"Yes." Snape answered without hesitation.

"When did you-?"

"When did I realize that I only liked men?"

Harry nodded and Snape didn't reply for a long moment. He didn't know if he had offended him in some way or if he was just taking a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking to him about it.

"I was four or five years old the first time I found somebody of the same sex to be attractive. I kept it to myself, as I knew that it would not be considered normal by my parents. I denied my attractions for a long time, but when I was sixteen I decided I did not want to hide anymore. I told a few people one night whilst under the influence and naturally the whole school knew the next day. A few people, such as your father, made fun of me, but most people did not care. After that, I had a few casual flings, but the real thing did not come along until I was twenty two years old. We were together for five years."

He noticed something strange in Snape's voice as he said the last bit and was surprised to find him looking completely defeated as he stared up at the night sky lost in thought. He was almost afraid to ask what had happened between the two men. Had he cheated on him? Left him for a woman? Or was it something worse?

He cleared his throat, knowing he had to ask or it would bother him to no end. "What happened? With you two, I mean."

"He...he passed away." He said so quietly that Harry had to strain to hear him correctly. "He was a half blood and inherited the cancer gene from his Muggle father. I spent the last two years of our relationship doing everything in my power to keep him alive, but in the end, the cancer got him anyways."

Harry didn't know what to say in response. This was Snape who was pouring his heart out to him, of all people. He wasn't acting like Snape at the moment, though. He was acting like a man who had been broken in a million different ways, but he knew that the man was currently doing his best not to let it show. He had a strong sense of pride and self control in which Harry partly envied him for and partly pitied him for.

Without even thinking about the fact that he would probably get punched in the face or Crucio'd, he placed his small hand on top of Snape's larger one. It was surprisingly warm and he grew the strongest urge to intertwine their fingers together, but he held back from doing so as he felt that would more than likely end extremely badly.

He took it as a good sign when Snape didn't pull his hand away from his. He did, however, flinch slightly at the slightest touch and Harry wondered when the last time he'd had any source of physical contact had been.

They lay there in silence for the longest amount of time. Time continued to slip by, but the neither of them cared as they watched the stars. He could see the Big Dipper and the Constellation Leo, but he did not voice this aloud as he did not want to ruin the moment.

London had grown strangly quiet and there was a sense of piece in the summer air. The only sounds to be heard were coming from the carnival a few miles away. If he tilted his head back as far as it would go he could just barely see the swirling neon lights from the rides.

The air surrounding them smelled of flowers, sea air, and suntan lotion. It was clear and filled his lungs in a way that satisfied his oxygen supply in a cooling way. Crickets croaked in the distance and a slight breeze engulfed them. It wasn't too hot, or too cold. It was perfect.

Harry stared in awe as a shooting star shot across the darkness. It was like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks novel, only it was real and he was living in closed his eyes tightly and made a wish, praying on everything that it would one day come true.

As the star shooted out into the distance, he tore his eyes away from the sky. He both feared and loved the was he felt his heart jump in an odd way as Severus turned his head and they looked each other in the eyes at the exact same moment.