Only Up From Here

Hours seemed to go by before anything seemed to happen. Then finally I realized I needed to use the bathroom but I had sobbed for so long I wasn’t sure if I had the energy to even stand on my own. As I started to move Brock turned to help me up.

“Need to move around?” He asked with such sincerity I almost smiled.

“Restroom.” Was all I could get out of my dry hoarse throat.

“Mind if I walk with you? I could go to.”

I nodded wondering why he even bothered to ask. As we headed out into the hall I glanced at Brock, yet again wondering why he was still here. He could have left hours ago. I had also noticed there was no phone attached to his fingers.

“Won’t Kelly be mad that you're not with her?” I figured I mid as well try to get my mind off things for a few minutes.

“Probably.”

“Then why are you still here?” I looked down at my feet as I spoke.

“Because right now, even though I don’t know you that well, I think you need a friend more then she needs me.” I could feel his stare as he spoke but I didn’t want to look at him for fear of what I might see in those blue eyes.

I finally mustered the courage to look at him and saw sympathy glassing those eyes. I felt tears sting my eyes at the realization that the sympathy was for me, because my dad was dead. I opened the door to the bathroom and ran to the stall. Falling to my knees I closed my eyes and felt everything thing I had eaten that day come back up. Then when that was out of my system I stood flushing the toilet and went to the sink.

I looked like hell. My hair was frazzled and my eyes baggy and red from the tears I had cried. My face was pale and my skin looked a little green at my cheeks. To be honest I looked like complete hell. I took a deep breath and ran someone cold water splashing it over my face and rinsing my mouth. It was refreshing, but not to the point of feeling good about myself. I took a deep breath and pulled open the door to the bathroom slowly. I could see Brock on the phone and I strained to hear the conversation,

“Kelly I will be home later OK?” There was a short pause, “No I do not know when later is. But I will be home in a few hours or in the morning.”

Again a pause, “I am with a friend at the hospital, her parents where in a car accident and her dad is dead. Her mom is in surgery. So I am sorry if I do not feel bad that I missed your chicken pot pie.” He sounded angry that she wasn't understanding why he couldn't be home.

I felt my heart sink, in a way I had caused this fight between them. I was not sure what to do. I could stand here and continue to listen or I could walk out there hoping he didn’t notice me and go sit with John.

“Whatever Kelly I am so over you being like this.” He leaned back against the wall, “I love you and you know that. I will call you later.” He hung up and leaned his head back against the wall closing his eyes and I heard him exhale a deeply.

I myself took another deep breath and walked his way, “I am so sorry”

“For what?” He seemed surprised to see me and to hear my actually speak.

“For making you bring me here. I mean if it wasn’t for me forgetting my laptop and my truck not starting you would have made dinner and not been in trouble with Kelly. I should have never asked you to bring me here.”

“If you hadn’t forgotten your laptop I would have never been there for you in a time of need. You needed me to bring you here and I know that this must suck for you. I also know that you probably don’t want me here and that you never want to be friends after this, but you know what?” I shook my head, “You are stuck with me. You have just gained a guy, who in the last four hours has learned so much and you will just have to live with me.” While he talked one of his hands grabbed my arm the other pulled my chin up to look at him.

I felt those damn tears again as I walked into his body and allowed for him to hug me, “I hope she understands because I could really use a friend right now.” He kissed the top of my head, which normally I would have found odd and forward but at that moment it felt comforting and friendly.
We walked back to the waiting room and I sat down looking at John, who still had traces of tears on his cheeks. “John?” He looked up at me, “This is Brock-“ I paused wondering what to say.

“I am a friend of Kali’s from school. Her truck broke down so I offered to bring her. It’s a pleasure to meet you Sir, I am so sorry its under such unpleasant circumstances.” He reached out his hand and shook John’s.

“I like this one Kali, keep him around.” I was stunned that John would say such a thing in this situation, but then again it made this all feel like a dream.

I blushed and curled into Brocks' arms my one hand holding John’s. We went back to our impatient waiting.

Sitting there I counted the ceiling tiles, the floor tiles, the chairs, the magazines, and how many times the nurses came into the room. It was what I did when I was nervous some people call it O.C.D. but to me it was normal and calming. I was starting to count the grain lines on the door when it opened. My breath caught as I saw someone in scrubs walk in. I sat up and John and I both stood as Brock stayed sitting he reached up and took my hand.

“Lewis family?”

We all shook our heads and waited. The doctor came over and gestured we take a seat with her hand. She sat on a chair across from us. “Kali I am assuming?” Again I shook my head.

“This is John and Brock, how is my mom?” My eyes swelled with tears.

“Kali, John, Brock, I am sorry but we tried everything we could.” The tears fell and my mouth dropped. John sobbed and stood to walk to the window so no one would see his tears. Brock reached over and pulled me close as I buried my head in his chest. “Your mom suffered serious head injuries from the crash causing a brain aneurism. There was too much internal bleeding within her vital organs as well. I am so sorry for your loss. Please, take all the time that you need. If you have questions please feel free to ask.” The doctor stood and walked out the door.

I stayed curled in Brock’s arms in complete and utter shock. There were no tears at this point just my mouth open and sharp breaths escaping every now and then. John still stood near the window no longer crying himself but looking distraught. Brock continued to hold me close and run his hands through my hair.

I sat up after a few minutes and walked to John. I wrapped him in my arms and let him hold me close. The sweet scent of horses and oil came off his shirt and tears burned my eyes because that’s almost the smell my dad had. The thought of my dad made my eyes burn more but I told myself I was NOT going to cry anymore today. I was going to take one step at a time and when I was home safe I could cry in the privacy of my own room.

As an hour went by Brock got coffee and we all sat in silence. There was paper work that John went to go get and him and I filled it out together, Brock was never far away. As the last of the papers where finished again we sat in silence. Then John’s shaky voice broke through the air.

“Well, I think we better head home my dear. We have a long, long, week ahead of us.” He kissed the top of my head and headed to the door.

“Thank you for being here and staying.” I wasn’t sure Brock heard me at first my voice was only more then a whisper.

“Kali I am going to be here for you through all of this. Like I said earlier I just met you but I feel like it's something I have to do.” His eyes searched mine to see how I took it.

“Thank you Brock, that really means a lot, but I am not sure what there is that you can do. Everything you have done this far is more than enough. I think you need to go home to Kelly. Enjoy the time you have together because obviously you never know when it’s going to end.” I wasn’t trying to be sappy but it hit me sitting in silence that it only took a few minutes for my life to change forever. I used to think things like this only happened to other people, well now I was in that category of other people and it was all I had to not cry even more.

“Kali, Kelly will be OK. Right now all I can think is you were meant to forget that laptop and have your truck not work. I was meant to be here with you at this moment. I don’t know why but I know that it’s true. So please, just let me help you through this.”

“Brock, that’s swee-“ The door opened suddenly.

“Kali Jo, sweetie, lets head home.” John looked tired and I looked back to Brock.

“Thank you again Brock but I think I need to ride home with John. He looks tired and I don’t want to leave him alone right now.” I looked back to John, “OK let me just run and grab my things from his truck and I will be over.”

“Alright but hurry up love. I am tired.”