Only Up From Here

Riding the trails was peaceful so I allowed my mind to wander and before I new it I was sitting in the clearing with tears in my eyes. I was never good at showing my emotions to others but I had a feeling I might as well just get used to it as the next few days were going to be hell. I wiped my eyes and told my self to take a deep breath and relax for a second. As I listened to the birds and the other animals running around I heard a horse coming down the trail.

“Kali Jo?” I looked over to see Shane. That’s when it hit me, I had forgotten to text him that I wasn’t going to make the trail ride we had planned.

“Oh my gosh!!! Shane I am so sorry!!” I wasn’t sure where to start.

“It’s OK. I heard what happened. I am sorry Kali for EVERYTHING you are going through right now.” He got off of Boss and walked over, petting Starlight on his way to sit next to me.

Before I knew what was happening he had me in a hug. At first I just sat there, arms at my sides, all awkward like. Then the warmth of someone next to me felt good and I wrapped my arms around Shanes tall muscular body. I didn’t cry, for that I was glad but, I did feel the tears hit my eyes.

“Thank you.” I didn’t know what else I was supposed to say.

We sat in silence for a long time before either of us spoke, “You know if you need anything, anything at all you can call, text, or just show up at my place. You know that right?” He didn’t look at me when he said it and I had never seen this shy side to him before.

“Thank you, I know that now.” Again nothing but silence and the sounds of nature filled the air. After another fifteen minutes of not saying anything I decided I should head home and see what I could do to help John. “Look I am sorry for not calling or sending you a text message last night. I am also sorry to do this but I really need to go. I need to get back to the house and see if John needs any help with,” I paused not knowing the right word to use, “Arrangements.” I figured that would be the best.

“I understand, again if you need anything you know where to find me.” He stood and gave me another quick hug. He walked with me over to Starlight and helped me up. I looked down at him and gave a small forced smile.

“Thank you again.” I didn’t say anything else before I had Starlight in a fast run headed down the trail.

The situation with Shane was weird; I have never not known what to say to a person before. Then again I had never been in a situation like that before either. It was nice of him to try and comfort me but overall my nerves where even more on edge.

As I rode up to the barn there was a vehicle I recognized in the drive but I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing. As I got off my mothers horse and let her into the pasture I looked again. I was almost positive that was Brock's truck.

I walked into the house and sure shit there he sat at the kitchen table looking all handsome talking to John. My mouth dropped open and the door slammed behind me. Both men snapped their heads to stare at me.

“Kali Jo! Your friend here just stopped in to see how we were doing. Dropped off a nice lasagna for lunch as well, and so it begins.” He added the last part under his breath but I knew exactly what he meant.

Food. The one thing everyone will always bring to try and comfort people in mourning. When my brother passed we had enough food in our house to feed all of Texas, I can only imagine what it will be like now, my parents are like the closest thing to famous this town has ever seen.

“Hi, sorry to drop in so unexpected but you seemed a little off last night and well you didn’t answer your phone when I called. Thought I would stop out and see if you guys needed any help with things.” Just stop out? I stared at him in wonder.

I stared a little longer before my mind finally caught up, “Well, that was- um, really nice of you. Sorry I didn't answer I guess I left my phone upstairs. The lasagna smells great though.” My mind was spinning, stop out? That is an hour and a half drive for him, how's that considered stopping out?

He smiled at me and I just continued to stare. “I asked him to stay and eat with us. I hope you don’t mind.” My head shot over to John, what the hell was he thinking!

“No that’s fine.” Again I stood there not knowing what else to say.

“Well you two kids watch that I need to go make a few more phone calls. When it’s all done give the bell a ring and we can all eat together.” He kissed my cheek as he passed by.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the lemonade. For some reason my mouth was dry and I had that cottonmouth feeling that I only get when I'm nervous. I leaned against the counter not wanting to sit across from Brock and see those blue eyes that always managed to see right through me.

“Well how are you Kali?” His eyes shined with nothing but concern. So much for not having to see them as they caught mine from basically across the room.

“I am alright I suppose. I mean as good as I can be.” The words rolled right off my tongue when in reality my mind was screaming, ‘What the hell are you doing here?!?!’ “You don’t have to stay for lunch if you have somewhere better to be.”

“If you’re OK with it then I have no where better to be.” He sounded so certain.

“Look I am not sure why you are here, I mean it IS sweet and all, but you are being to nice to a girl you just met. And you know what? I don’t want to get on the wrong side of you and Kelly. I have enough going on in my life right now and I don’t need relationship drama adding to it all. OK? So, maybe I am not all right with this situation.” Word vomit, things just wouldn’t stop coming out of my mouth.

“Kelly knows where I am Kali, and to be honest if she couldn’t handle me being with a friend who is going through a rough time then I don’t know the women I have spent the last two years dating.”

“Two years?” Brock shook his head. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah it really is a long time but you know what? Some days when it doesn’t quit seem like we will stay together I just think of the good times and realize she loves me and I love her.”

“That is really sweet.” It felt good to get the spotlight off of me and my drama for just a little bit of time. “So how did you two meet?”

“I was a sophomore in college she was a freshmen and I guess I don’t really remember the exact moment we met.”

I laughed a little, “My parents once told me that you know you're with the right person when you can remember every little detail, except for the important ones.”

“What do you mean?” He had a smile on his face and I knew he knew what I meant but for conversation and my minds sake I decided to tell the story.

“My parents where sixteen and eighteen when they first met, my mom was driving with her license for the first time and my dad was being a little reckless with some friends. Long story short, my dad ended up running into my mom’s bumper at a stop sign. They got out exchanged insurance information the basics you know.” Brock shook his head his face told me he was actually listening and not just pretending. “They went on their way. Neither of them thought that three years down the road they would meet again. This time at school in a psychology class, and they only met thanks to a random partners assignment the teacher made. Anyway, they fell in love married when my mom turned twenty-one, had me when she was twenty-three, and lived happily ever after. It wasn’t until I was sixteen they realized they knew each other before actually knowing each other.”

“Wait how did they ever figure it out?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “The first time the story was told my dad spoke of a women who just took his breath away, like mom did, and he was showing off trying to impress her when he was eighteen. He said that he ‘tapped’ her bumper with his and from that moment on he felt like some day he would meet her again. He also said that once he met mom the women, or girl I suppose, fell from his mind and that sometimes people were better left in the past” When my dad had told me the story I was going through a rough break-up, I mean as rough as they can be for a sixteen year old. Brock smiled again waiting to hear more. “Mom told me a story that same night about a boy that she couldn’t help but to remember. He was tall lean and reminded her of dad just a little. She basically went through the exact same story from her point of view. By this time I am thinking my parents had planned this all out so I flat out said, in the middle of my moms story, ‘You don’t have to tell me this. Dad already did. I get it moral of the story some people are meant to be in the past.’”

Brock shook his head, “So they knew each other at sixteen and still ended up together, that in my opinion is as good as a fairy tale.”

“Yeah,” I felt tears in my eyes, “I guess you are right. Except fairy tales end with happy forever afters' not died to young because of some idiot.” I stood and walked to the window my mom always looked out when doing the dishes.

“Do you know who it was? On the horse I mean?”

“No, all we have is one witness and they only saw them for a second before they just road on down the tail. Like my parents didn’t even matter to them.” That was the true irritation, they didn’t even stop.

“Well, lets just hope that the police can figure it out and they can get what is coming to them.”

“Yeah the way it sounds now they are thinking there was only one horse which means only one person, when I find out who that is I swear-“ I stopped my usual reaction would be to say kill them but now that just didn’t seem even comfortable coming into my head. "Then again this eye witness has changed stories a few different times, so we may never know if there was one or ten people out there on horses."

Brock didn’t say anything at all he just came over and wrapped me into his arms. I felt safe in those arms but I knew I shouldn’t. I pulled away a little and looked up to him, those blue eyes searching mine, “I think I should uh, check the lasagna.” He kissed my forehead and let me head to the oven.