Haunted

“Goodnight beautiful,” I whispered, switching off the light.
“I love you mummy.”
“I love you too sweetie,” I laughed, pulling the door shut behind me. In case it’s not obvious, yes I did decide to keep the baby. We didn’t tell the press straight away but there was a lot of speculation. There were so many different reactions from Xander’s fans. Some we absolutely thrilled. Others were annoyed and upset, devastated that their celebrity crush had settled down, smashing their hopes of ever dating him. Some were worried that given Xander’s wild and childish behavior, he wasn’t mature enough to look after a child. I was absolutely terrified but Xander was there for me throughout the pregnancy, more than I could ever thank him for, and I got special care from the hospital which really helped I guess. On 29th April, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl, and we named her Rebecca Jade Ludwig. She was the most perfect being I’d ever set eyes on. Xander is an amazing dad to her. Most of Xander’s fans came to terms with it, and they think it’s adorable. The fans can be pretty crazy sometimes, especially the teenage girls. To be honest though, it comes with the job and you just have to accept it. They’re generally really lovely to me so that’s really nice. A lot of people think I get jealous when Xander meets girl fans but I really don’t. He loves his fans and he loves meeting them. He’s always doing Ustreams with them and spends a lot of quality time with his fans but that doesn’t bother me because I think it’s sweet and I know he’d never cheat on me so I honestly do not freak out if he’s late home from work because he was having a coffee with some fans or whatever. The only thing that does worry me is how Becky will cope with it. I’m worried that she’ll find it difficult when her dad is constantly being followed by screaming girls, or when her face is printed in so many magazines, or when people come up to her and say ‘Hey, you’re Alexander Ludwig’s daughter.’ We’ll deal with that when it happens. So far she’s coping really well and she’s such a happy child. She doesn’t know about Ryan yet, and when she’s old enough, we’ll obviously have to tell her. I still miss Ryan more than anything – it takes over my life probably way more than it should. Xander’s trying to persuade me to see someone but I don’t think it will help. Nothing will stop me from missing my baby. All in all though, I’m happy. I’ve got the best friends in the world, I’ve got my Becky and I’ve got my Xander. To think, without all those secret visits to Ryan, I’d never have met Xander and I would never have got the perfect fairytale I’ve always dreamed of.