Broken Strings and Broken Dreams

It had been 2 days before I'd heard anything from Alex.

It was just a simple text message from him that said, 'I'm fine' and even though I should be relieved that he's at least okay, I was still dead worried. I knew what it was like to lose someone. I knew what it was like to lose a lot of people and it definitely took time to get over.

It was a cloudy almost Autumn Sunday and as I looked out my bedroom window while doing homework, I couldn't help but think about if Alex was doing fine. The text message simply wasn't enough and I wanted to see him, to know he was alright.

Every time my phone went off I kept thinking it was Alex again but I was sadly mistaken when I'd see Jack or Rian's name asking if I'd heard anything yet, which I hadn't besides the text message.

But when I heard my phone going off over on my desk, I still jumped up and nearly ran to it only to see that it was Jack, calling yet again. "Hello?" I answered, extremely disappointed.

"Anything yet?" He asked and I sighed.

"No, I haven't." I groaned, sitting down in my computer chair and putting my head on the desk. "I keep trying to call. I keep sending him text messages but he just won't answer anything! I wish I at least had some kind of hint of where he might go at least."

"We've been trying over here too. Let me call Isobel and see if there might be somewhere he might go." He said and I nodded, forgetting that I was on the phone and he couldn't see me before I let out a quiet, 'okay'.

When he hung up I tried to do something like I had been for the past 2 days. There wasn't a lot I could really do anymore though because I had already scrubbed the house from top to bottom, including the garage, backyard, my fathers room, and my room.

It was weird now, being alone in a house. I hadn't gone to hang out with any of the guys since we were all freaking out over Alex. After all of my house cleaning was done I actually called and asked Isobel if she needed any company or if she needed help with cleaning but when she refused, I was left with just going over what I had already cleaned.

I couldn't even play my violin, I was so worried. All I needed was something, something just to know where he is or at least how he was doing but Jack didn't call back until later and that was just to tell me that he hadn't found anything.

So now here I was, trying really hard to think of a place that Alex would go. It wasn't the pond because I'd checked there and even stayed there for almost 4 hours yesterday. It wasn't home, obviously, and it wasn't my house so where could he possibly be.

'Hey, this is Alex -and his little Barakitten- Jack, shut the f- I mean, uh, yeah. Just call me back later or I'll try and get to you as soon as I c- ALEX HAS A SMALL P-." I caught his voicemail again and sighed.

"Hey, uh, Alex. Please call me back. I'm scared and I'm worried and I want to try and help. You shouldn't be going through this alone and I want to be there, so please, please, call me back. Please, Alex." I finished, hanging up and throwing myself onto my bed.

Why was this so difficult?

I felt my phone go off from under me and I jumped to get to it. When I saw the name I wanted to cry and I think that I was starting to. "Alex, oh my God, are you okay? Where are you? I'll come get you."

"No, don't come get me. I'm fine. I've just been staying in a motel downtown." He explained and I couldn't explain the amount of rage that took over my body.

After all of the worrying me, Kara, and the guys have been doing, all he says is he's fine and that he's been staying in a motel downtown? "That's it?" I asked. "That's all you've got to say? I've been worried sick Alex. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept, I haven't even showered and that's all? You're fucking serious, Alex?"

"Listen-," he began but I cut him off.

"No, Alex, you listen. I understand that your brother died but that gives you no right to just leave like that. Your mothers at home going nuts because she thinks she might lose the only son she has left, Alex! Your best friends think they might have lost you and then there's me, Alex! What do you think you did to me just leaving like that? Do you think I'd just carry on with my day like nothings happened? You're a fucking idiot, you know that!" I raged as he just listened.

I was pissed and he needed to realize that.

"Can you stop? I lost my brother, Madi! I had no idea anything was going on with him and then all of a sudden he calls me and tells me, 'It's not your fault but I wanted to tell you goodbye and I love you, little bro. I'm so sorry'." He yelled back at me through the phone. "You don't get it. He was my brother and now he's gone and all I want to do is turn back time and try to stop it from ever happening."

"I lost my mother and my brother and I thought I lost my boyfriend too!" I screamed. "You lost your brother so you take off? Fuck everyone else right? Well I guess I'll just stay in my room and not care like I guess I should have been doing this whole time."

"Ma-," he began but I instantly cut him short by hanging up, refraining from throwing the small object at the wall. I dialed Jack's number, having memorized it from so many calls, putting.the phone to my ear.

When Jack answered he still had the dull sound in his voice, something that pissed her off even more because of Alex.

"Your friend is okay. As for me and him? I don't know." I said, hanging up right when I heard Jack squeal.

I was pissed and I was gonna make sure Alex knew that.

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Monday morning and all I felt like doing was crawling up in a hole and dying. From a later phone call the day before I learned that Alex was coming back and that meant he was going to be at school today.

Dragging myself out of bed I heard the front door open and close, signaling my dad leaving to work, of course. Taking a quick 20 minutes to get ready, I was out the door and driving to school.

Where was that tornado from Shark Boy and Lava Girl when you needed it?

I looked around at the sky for the sign of clouds and sighed. Nowhere to be seen. The clouds and the tornado. "Great." I mumbled when I pulled into the school parking lot, a lot later than usual, so I had to park in the back.

I went straight to my class, walking right past Alex and them, Alex looking more hurt than them, since I warned them in advance.

If Alex thought it was okay to just leave like that, I guess it was alright that I just not talk to him.

"What the fuck?" I heard him say from behind me in which I turned around and smiled, waving.

"Hey Jack, Rian, Kara, and Anabelle!" They smiled and waved back and I turned back towards my destination not looking anywhere else but in front of me until I got into my first class. I actually did my work this time and I even started on my other work that I had been neglecting.

I sat as far away as I could from Alex in my next class. I could feel him staring at me the whole time and it wasn't any different in any of my other classes and lunch with Alex. My plan worked all the way to the end of the day when I was walking to my car and Alex was leaning against the driver side door.

I rolled my eyes. Of course he would corner me at me car.

"What the hell?" He questioned right when I was in earshot. "Why the fuck have you been ignoring me all day? I came back! I thought that's what you wanted!" He yelled throwing his hands in the air as he did so.

"I did." I answered shortly, trying to open my blocked car door.

"You did? Did? What's that supposed to mean?" He asked stepping even further in front of me.

I stepped back, looking up at him and fixing my violin strap. "Yeah, because while you were off in your miserable selfish world we were all here tearing ourselves apart. Everyone else might be happy that you're back but I don't care. Just like you didn't."