Broken Strings and Broken Dreams

"Alex?" I voiced as we lay, relaxing, on my bed later that day. He let out a soft, 'hmm' showing that he was beginning to fall asleep. "What did you do?" I asked, turning my head to look at him as he pulled me closer.

He opened his eyes fully now, showing that he heard the question and that I now had his full attention. "I don't know. I guess I kind of just cried. I was angry and it was kind of just like, even though me and my brother weren't super close, I still lost my best friend." He explained and moved his hand to stroke my cheek.

"Well you sure handled yourself more than I did." I muttered. His eyebrows arched and his hand stopped as he looked at me for an explanation. "I, uh, I hurt myself. Not like cutting or anything, but when I found out that my mother and brother died, I felt that I should feel the pain they felt and even though I knew I was wrong to do it, I got ahold of my dads pills and I took them, a lot of them. I stopped eating but after awhile, I got tired and my dad stopped coming home, and that's when I knew I had to take care of myself."

Alex was quiet for a long time before he said anything. "What happened when you took the pills?" He whispered and I bit my lip. What if what I did then, fucked up now?

"I, uh, I took a handful of them at a time. He had a lot of bottles, old ones, expired ones. I don't even know what they were called but I knew what they did and one day, I woke up in the hospital hooked up to an IV, my dad wasn't there, and I found out that I overdosed and died for nearly 3 minutes.

"I got put into therapy and you know what? I was hoping to God that I could make it through and then I realized something. I was alone, I felt okay being alone, and that's why I kept it that way. If I didn't have anyone to lose, how could I get hurt? Because my brother was my best friend, my only friend, and my mother kept all of us happy and together.

"After they died, I was left with a broken home, a broken family, and a father that wasn't there to help me." I finished and took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a few seconds and opening them to see him staring at me.

"I'll always be there for you. I don't care what happens, I'll be there no matter what." I smiled at him. Not a real smile but he liked it because he smiled back and gave me a soft kiss to my lips before he kissed my forehead.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked. I had to get off that subject, I needed to. He rolled back onto his back and I scooted closer, laying my head on his chest.

After a second he gave a soft shrug and then looked at me. "I kind of just hoped we could stay in all day." He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out making me laugh.

I shook my head. "It's Friday, aren't there parties on Friday nights?" I asked because honestly, I didn't know. That's how it was in books and movies and I could faintly recall people gossiping about their wild night out.

"Wait, you want to go to a party?" He asked and I shrugged, signaling that I didn't care. "There is a party that the guys and their girls and Anabelle will be going to but it's alright if you don't want to. I'm perfectly happy with going to do something else."

I shook my head instantly. "No, I actually want to. I don't think I'll be getting crazy but I want to go." I said making him roll his eyes.

"You just want to see me get drunk, not gonna happen though, cause I'll be watching you and then we'll both probably have to watch Jack because lets face it. Jack needs some help." He snorted and I smacked his chest.

"He doesn't need help, he's just...misunderstood...is all." Alex laughed at me. "No but really, I don't care what we do. As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters." I mumbled, pulling my self up a bit to give him a kiss on the nose.

"Well you better but your party gear on because Jack's going wild tonight!" Alex laughed and I giggled, rolling out of bed. I felt Alex pull on my shirt and I looked over to see a pouting Alex.

"What?" I asked when he continued to stare at me. He didn't say anything, didn't do anything, but pout his lip and stare. "Alex if you don't stop that you're leaving my room, right now." I warned and he straightened up.

I smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek before I went to the dresser to pick what I was going to wear. I don't know but I didn't think that going in the spandex shorts and belly tank top was a very good idea so I pulled out a loose light blue tank top.

With a wink I darted for the bathroom barely shutting it in time before he was banging on the door. "Oh, come on, Madi? Why not?" He whined and I giggled.

"I'm not allowing that yet, Gaskarth, nice try!" I sang out and I heard him swearing on the other side of the door. I remembered that I didn't bring pants in with me and sighed. Of course I forget my pants when Alex is of course in my room.

I bit my lip as I put my bra on and slid my tank top on. I guess I could just run out there and grab them. I can't ask him to get them, he'd try and lure me out anyways.

So before I could rethink anything, I opened the door in my tank top and underwear. I took one glance at Alex but I could tell right then that he was surprised. I scurried over to my closet and pulled a random pair off, spinning from lack of balance to face Alex while sliding my leg through my pant leg.

His mouth was agape and I looked down shyly. Maybe there was something wrong. Maybe I wasn't what he thought I'd be. I heard the bed creek and looked up to find Alex in front of me.

"What are you doing?" He asked as I attempted to pull my shirt further down. He grabbed my hands. "You're beautiful Madi, so fucking beautiful, you know that?" I shrugged and he pulled me into him, my foot still in the pant leg.

"You don't think you're beautiful?" He questioned and I shrugged again. No, not really, but I didn't think I was ugly either. I just kind of always thought that I just looked plain and average.

"I wish you could see you how I do." He whispered with more seriousness than I'd ever heard before. He kissed me, a couple times, before I was finally able to finish putting my pants on. Alex was already ready so when we left at 7 o-clock, we were ready to party, even though I've never partied.

-------------------------------------------

3 hours into the party and I'm a little buzzed with Alex who hadn't drank more than a beer and a half. We'd just gotten attacked by Jack and almost thrown up on by Richard Lesley, quarter back from school.

"Alex! You have to watch me play beer pong!" Delani came yelling from behind us, making me jump and Alex groan. She'd been bugging Alex about how well her skills have improved all night and it was hilarious.

"Honestly woman, how are you with Zack when you talk 24/7? You'd think he'd like the quiet ones but no," Alex muttered to himself. I looked at the two amused as they began to bicker. She really wanted to have him watch and he really didn't want to.

"But Alex, it's been so long and I've gotten so much better! I can't play you so at least watch." She whined and I laughed as his face fell.

He let out a long sigh and looked down at me. "Do you want to watch too or do something else?" He asked and I shook my head and shrugged.

"It doesn't really matter to me." I replied and we watched Delani play beer pong. She lost, only because the guy she got stuck with had already played 4 rounds and couldn't even hold back his drool, but we cheered anyways.

A few hours later we were put in charge to find Jack, orders from Anabelle, since their mom called and wanted them home because Jack didn't clean his room.

We found him out back in a tree. It took almost 20 minutes to get him out but when we did, I was just lucky enough to dodge his throw up as he basically fell out of the tree.

And after we sent Jack home with Anabelle I got myself a small cup of Vodka and Coke and the rest is history.

Mainly because I don't remember.