Broken Strings and Broken Dreams

"Madi, can you come here for a second?" I heard my father yell from downstairs as I sat up in my room, catching up and finishing all of my put off homework. I sighed, putting my pencil down on my notebook before standing up from my bed where I was laying on my stomach.

I made my way slowly down the stairs because honestly, I still didn't feel like he deserved to have my support. The second I walked around the corner and into the kitchen, I noticed that Lana wasn't there, and I inwardly groaned.

You see, I liked Lana. She was nice, she was caring, and she treated me like the daughter she never had. Needless to say, I hadn't been alone with my father since I don't know when, and I certainly didn't want to change that anytime soon. Looks like luck clearly isn't on my side.

"Where's Lana?" I asked first and a small twinkle of a smile curved onto his lips.

"Grocery shopping, she's cooking Sunday dinner tonight." He informed me, sitting at the island counter on a large stool with the Sunday paper and a cup of coffee in front of him. I nodded, walking to the fridge to see if there was something I could eat for lunch. After abandoning the fridge and going to the cupboard I settled on a Cup Noodle and quickly started preparing it to be put in the microwave.

I heard him clear his throat. "I wanted to say I'm sorry." I heard him blurt next and froze while filling the stirofoam cup with water to the line. I jerked it away from the water before it could over flow an turned towards him.

"What?" I asked, knowing exactly what he had said.

"I said that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being here for you." He said softly and my face fell when I saw just how depressed he looked in this moment. "I should have been. I'm your damn father for Christ's sake. I don't have an excuse for you, I don't have a secret reasoning, I just wasn't there and I'm so sorry Madilynn."

I felt tears spring into my eyes. "It's okay, dad." I said as confidently as I could. He sent me a small sorrowful smile and shook his head.

"No, it's not. I'm your father, Madi, I should have taken care of you. I should have helped you but I didn't. That's not okay, and you know it." He was standing now, pacing in a circle around the counter.

He did that for at least 5 minutes before I finally stepped in front of him to make him stop. I don't know why, but I hugged him. I wasn't sure if it was for me or if it was for him but when he hugged me back, I felt like a child again. I felt like how I did before my mom died, before my brother died, before everything got all fucked up.

"I was so lost, dad." I mumbled into his shoulder and he pulled me closer. "I felt like since you lost them you didn't want me anymore." I cried and I heard a loud sniff come from him making his chest shake.

"I love you Madilynn. I love you so much." He said, letting me pull back so he could look at me. "You'll always be my little girl and I promise I'll be a better dad for you." He promised and I smiled up at him.

"Can I have a puppy?" I asked, joking, but was immediately surprised when I heard him say yes. My surprised expression quickly morphed into one of disbelief. "No way." I laughed when he raised one of his bushy graying eyebrows at me.

He raised a big hand to my face and I felt him whip the tear stains off of my cheek. "Anything for my only princess." He whispered before bending down slightly to kiss my forehead. "Now, what kind would you like? I hear Golden Retrievers are nice and behave well."

It took me approximately 1 second to think of what kind of dog I wanted.

"You're serious?" I questioned with a raised brow. No way would he get me a puppy, my dad hated dogs. He hated dogs when my mom begged to get a puppy and he still does, so why would he soften up now?

He's trying to be the daddy you missed out on you dip, take the dog!

"Yeah, I'm serious." He mimicked and I sighed.

You've always wanted one.

I tried to shake the convincing voices in my head but they stayed and after a minute or two, I caved with slouched shoulders and a very noticeable grimace. "You make me feel like such a burden." I said and let out a loud dramatic sigh.

"So?" He asked me and I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I saw this dog in the window the other day when we went dress shopping with my friends and it was mixed with Golden Retriever and Cocker Spaniel and it was so cute." I heard my dad laugh as I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering how the happy little 7 week old puppy was already jumping around.

He stayed quiet for several seconds before he took one deep breath and looked down at me only to have me staring back up at him.

"Okay." He finally said and I jumped in the air with a loud squeel before I was running up the stairs yelling, "I have to tell Alex!"

I called him first. He answered on the third ring with a, "hey baby!" I skipped over intro's and jumped right into the story of what happened with my dad and how I was getting a puppy.

Alex wanted to see the dog. It was only 3 in the afternoon so within a half hour we were at the mall and standing in front of a tiny sleeping puppy.

They wouldn't let me touch the puppy before since I wasn't 18 yet but Alex was and I stuck my tongue out at the lady that kept refusing me before.

The puppy fit in both of my hands and then some. Its fur was fairly long and had a redish tint to it and the chub rolls he had were freakin' adorable. I completely gushed it awake only to see two different colored blue eyes.

"You were right, it is an adorable mix." He said as we sat in the back. It was the youngest and the smallest there and I knew it was still a little too young to be away from his mother, but I couldn't help that.

"They stay puppies forever." I said after awhile of just cooing at the small ball of fur. "He'll never change and I'll never have to worry about him being too big. He's perfect." I smiled as the puppy began to fall asleep again, finally tired of us keeping it up.

We signed the paperwork right then and there. They said we could come back tomorrow to take the puppy home and officially pay and Alex and I each gave my new puppy a long kiss on the top of his head.

But when we walked out, Alex got suddenly very serious and stopped before turning to me.

"We, uh, I need to talk to you Madi." He said slowly and my nerves shot up.

Oh come on, man. Not now.

"Okay." I gulped and he took a deep breath.

"So we have a show in February." He blurted and my eyebrows shot up in confusion. So why was he acting like this? "And someone important is going to be there. Someone that could possibly sign us to…Hopeless Records."

I screamed. Sure, it wasn't even past October but I screamed and jumped and he laughed and caught me around my waist.

"I'm glad you're happy about it!" He grinned and I kissed him hard on the lips.

"Of course I am! Alex, I'm so proud of you." I calmly said, standing on my own and looking up at him. He bent down to kiss me again, and again, and again.

"Have I ever told you that I wish I could've known you sooner? That I could've been with you already and happy. But, I'm glad we didn't because even though you heard about everything I did, you didn't know the kind of person I was. And I'm glad." He said as we were getting into his car.

"Me too." I smiled and he grabbed my hand in his. "Now stop talking, it's food court time and its my treat." I heard him laugh and pull me to a stop.

"And what makes you think I'll let you pay?" He questioned, a whole lot of humor in his voice.

It took me two seconds to think of and before he even knew what I was doing I snatched his wallet from his pocket, pulled my hand from his, and yelled "because you don't have your wallet," and took off towards the escalators that lead to the food court.