Broken Strings and Broken Dreams

I was shocked. I was surprised. I was amazing. I was thrilled.

Alex finally kissed me. He finally kissed me and it was ever@y bit of amazing as I hoped and thought it would be. He was still there, holding me close, as he looked deep into my eyes.

"I wanted to wait until Friday for that but I couldn't." He explained and I grinned.

"I'm glad you didn't." I blurted and he smiled at me, sitting on the bed and pulling me onto his lap. He redirected my face until he was kissing me again and I could feel my heart swelling up in my chest.

There was a knock on the door though and I jumped up and away from him before the door opened and Daniel stood there, looking at us knowingly. "Dinners ready." Was all he said before the door shut again and Alex was next to me.

"Come on, pretty lady. I get to show you off." He whispered, bending down to my ear making me shiver and blush furiously. He grabbed my hand before we made our way down into the kitchen, the food just being finished put on the table.

Alex sat me down next to him and I was internally thankful seeing everyone else take their seats.

"So Madi, I hear you play the violin." Isobel stated and I nodded.

"Since I was 6." I answered and she beamed.

"That's just like Alex! He's played the guitar ever since we moved here when he was 12." She gushed and I laughed at Alex's expression.

"Mom." Alex whined. His mother rolled her eyes before she started on another thing about Alex's habits as a kid. Like, whenever there was a Ravens game, he'd put on every arcticle of Ravens clothing he had.

Peter joined in on some topics, topics Alex would try and stop, while Daniel didn't. I couldn't help but notice that Daniel wasn't happy. I'd seen someone act like that before and it didn't end up good.

I'd lost a mother and a brother because of it.

"Thank you for having me for dinner. It was delicious." I said as Alex and I started to leave. Apparently, it wasn't the end of our night and he had somewhere he wanted to take me.

He wouldn't tell me though so as we drove down the road, all I could do was look at the scenery. We ended up at a park. There were a lot of trees at this park. The jungle gym was old a rusted, the cover over it doing nothing to protect it.

We walked along the path and through a large crowd of trees before we were looking at a duck pond.

"Not a lot of people know this is here. The pond has always been here but then all of these ducks came and it turned into their home." He explained and I smiled.

We found a table under a large tree and kind of just watched the ducks as the sun set. I wanted to ask what we were now that we've kissed.

I didn't though. I didn't want to know the answer, even if it would go in my favor.

"Why are you so quiet?" I heard him ask and I looked over at him, putting on a smile. I shrugged.

"I don't know." I responded, because honestly, I didn't.

He grabbed my hand, giving it a tight squeeze before he pulled it to his mouth, giving me a light kiss. It made the butterflies explode in my stomach.

"I wish you didn't have to work tomorrow and Thursday." He mumbled and I huffed. You and me both.

"We still have our date on Friday." I reminded him and he grinned.

"Yeah, our date." He confirmed and I saw his eyes shift up and then raise and I looked around me to see what he was looking at only to be faced with darkness.

He pulled out his phone, pressing a button so the screen lit up to show that it was indeed almost 10 o-clock. "Holy shit!" He exclaimed. We'd been out there for almost 4 hours.

"I guess I should be going home." I whispered and he nodded, standing up right as I did, making sure he had a sure grip on my hand before we started walking back to his car.

It was almost silent as he drove me home besides the music that hummed along in the background. I almost thought he'd stay quiet the whole ride and just keep taking glances at me.

"I don't want to hurt you. I have a history of doing that to girls, and I really don't want to do that to you." He blurted suddenly as we pulled up to a stop sign.

My gaze shifted over to him. I didn't really know about that and honestly I didn't care. "I trust you." I quiped and he sighed.

"But I don't trust myself." He mumbled making me let out a 'huff'. "You don't really know me, Madi. I'm different around you. I'm calm and nice and normal. I like to drink. I like to party and that usually leads me to doing stupid things." He explained and I noticed that we were just pulling up to my house.

He was making me angry. He honestly thought that I cared about his past history. He actually thought I was that vain.

"I don't care about any of that." I said a little louder than usual.

"But you should, Madi. I'm not a good guy like you think I am."

"I think I can judge the people that I like just fine." I sniped and his eyebrows furrowed.

"You don't get it-," he began but I shook my head interrupting him.

"No, you need to stop. I don't care about your past with those girls and the parties. I don't care if you like to party or drink. I like you. Your past is just that, your past. It has nothing to do with me. I can't judge you for things that happened when I didn't exist to you." I ranted and I saw his eyes shut as he let out a large breath.

"Look, if you don't want to be with me, you can just say so. It's no big deal." I muttered when he didn't say anything and swung my car door open, getting out. "I guess I'll see you at school." I said before I shut my door, heading as fast as I could to my front door.

I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing and I was probably overreacting but I was mad and he was being ridiculous. I stopped at my front door, turning to see if he had followed me, but he hadn't and I saw him looking at me through his car window.

I'm not sure what hurt more, him not coming after me or seeing him drive away but either way, I was crying when I went inside.

I was crying when I fell on my bed.

I was crying when my phone went off on my table across the room.

I was even crying when I fell asleep.