Finding Who You Are

"I love you." Slash said as soon as we got in the car, making me start coughing because I was trying to swallow my Dr.Pepper... Now what did he say?!

I had no time to ask him before he kissed me, holding me there as I pulled away. This wasn't right. I was making things right with Mick again, and that did NOT consist of letting Slash kiss me.

"Saul, quit it..." I muttered against his lips before he finally let go of me and just sat there. "I'm with Mick again Saul... I love him. I care about you, but I LOVE him." I put alot of stress on the word LOVE, hopefully he'd understand.

"I know that." He sighed as he started to drive towards his house. "I just had to let you know. I couldn't hold it back any longer."

We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the ride... We got there, I went inside to get my things while Slash waited for me to return outside in the car. We drove back, still nothing but complete silence. This was awkward.

He slammed the car in park as I hurried to get out of the car and get back to Mick and Ashley. "Rayne, wait." Slash pleaded as I stopped in place with my bags as I turned to look at him. "I'm sorry. Forget I ever said that. I just enjoy having you in my life." Awe, that was fucking sweet!! No, bad Rayne! I'm with Mick, not Slash.... Never Slash...

"You're forgiven, and still my friend. Don't speak a word of this to ANYONE. If you do, I'll shave your head."

His eyes got wide as he grabbed his fluffy black hair. "I won't say a word.. I promise. Thank you."

I opened the door and went back inside to Mick, feeling his arms immediately wrap around me when I got into his sight.

"You know how good this feels?" He muttered into my hair as I felt my heart beating faster. I had missed this feeling, his voice, his arms, just him in general.

"It feels perfect." I answered as I leaned my head back to give him a kiss as he took one of my lighter bags as Ashley and Nikki walked into the room.

"You two going back home?" Nikki asked with a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah, we're going home." I smiled as I looked from the happy couple in front of me, to my lovely boyfriend. "We're going home together."

"Aweee happy endings rock!!" Ashley squealed before she grabbed her tummy, making Nikki and I instantly worry.

"You alright Ash?" I asked as I dropped my bags and rushed to her.

"Yeah. I'm gonna drop this load any day now. Honestly, I can't wait to get him out of there." She laughed a bit. "I can't wait to hold him... He's gonna look just like his Daddy. Handsome." I couldn't help but to nod and laugh.

There was no denying that Nikki Sixx was an extremely handsome, very attractive man. He just seemed so excited and just so damn happy.

"Yeah Rayne! That means keep your phone on incase she goes into labor anytime soon. You'll be the first one we call." Nikki smiled as he hugged me goodbye. "You guys be careful on the way home. Love you both."

"I love you both too." I smiled as I hugged them both before bending down to Ashley's belly. "And you too little man. I love you." Ashley couldn't help but to hug me again before Mick grabbed my hand and we left.

*Back To Mick's House*

"Welcome back home baby." Mick smiled as he kissed me and opened the front door and my jaw dropped. He had really let the place go, bad... "Yeah, it's kind of a mess... Sorry."

"Looks like I have work to do before I can relax with you." I laughed as I walked with him to 'Our' room, only to reveal the same sort of mess. Clothes everywhere, empty bottles, papers, everywhere.

"I can help." He laughed as I sat my stuff on the bed and immediately retrieved a trash bag from the kitchen. It was going to be a VERY long night....

I started with the living room since it was the most filthy room in the house. It seriously looked like a tornado had just blown through and threw everything everywhere. While I was in here cleaning, Mick took it upon himself to grab a bag and start cleaning out our room, or at least I thought he did.

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I had just gotten the couch cleaned off when I felt Mick wrap his arms around me and he started to kiss on my neck.

"Babyyy." I whined as he slowly pushed himself on top of me as we slid onto the couch. "I've got to finish cleaning." I whispered in between kisses as I felt his hands on my hips. Yeah, I don't think I'm doing anymore cleaning right now because those plans were slowly slipping out the window.

I started tugging at Mick's hair as he nibbled on my bottom lip, making me be a little more violent with him.

"Mhm." Mick muttered as he let his cold boney hands slip up my shirt, his fingertips sliding over my ribs as I started tugging on his shirt which was soon lost somewhere in the mess of garbage.

It took no time for us to slip out of our clothes and get down to what we were doing.

"I missed you so much." Mick panted against my lips as he continued to kiss me roughly.

"I missed you too baby..." I whispered as I drug my nails down his back, tightening my thighs around him. "I love you."

At first I didn't think he was going to say it back, but he did after he bit into my collar bone one good time, making me gasp a bit. "I love you too Mrs.Mars."

We had made our way to the bedroom, turning off all the other lights in the house before we finally collapsed on the now clean bed, continuing right where we left off at.

We finished and just layed there together, our sweaty bodies pressed together. That was, until I smelt a foul oder, which I presumed was Mick.

"Shower." I firmly said as he started laughing at me. "I'm not kidding Mick. Shower. Now." I pointed at the bathroom door, making him frown a bit.

"I don't wanna." He pouted, making me feel a bit bad for making him get up, but I couldn't sleep with him if he smelt the way he did.

I didn't say anything else. I just stood up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the bathroom with me as we showered together. He didn't wipe the smirk off of his face until I wiped it off for him with a soapy luffa sponge.

"Hey! You're gonna get that in my eyes!" He laughed as he grabbed the sponged and smacked it in my face, catching me with a kiss as we stood there quietly, letting the water just wash over our bodies. It felt like it was just washing away all the bad that had happened in the past with us... It felt like we had never split up, or ever faught. It felt all perfect again until he said one name.

"We should have Dj over with Ashley and Nikki tomorrow for dinner. We haven't seen him in forever." I felt my breath instantly catch in my throat at the mentioning of the spikey hair guitarist who had tried to make his move on me almost a year ago.

"Sure sweetheart." I smiled and nodded before he cut off the water, handing me a towel as we dried off.

I made my way to my bags, grabbing my shorts, undies, bra, and a tank-top as I thought about Dj... Why the fuck did he want Dj over? Why did it have to be Dj? I loved the guy to death, don't get me wrong... It was kinda awkward with him now though since well... Since he tried to make his move on me. Urgh, so complicated... I wonder if Ashley had to worry about this shit with any of Nikki's friends.

I tried not to fret over it anymore as I brushed my hair that had grown a good bit since last year. It was now down to the bottom of my ears again, which allowed me to style it the way I liked it. I didn't bother to do anything with it tonight. I quickly threw it up in a stubby pony tail before I climbed into bed with Mick.

"Goodnight darling. I love you." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead.

"Goodnight. I love you too." I muttered and smiled to myself as I gladly wrapped my left arm around his waist, pulling him as close to me as I could before I fell asleep...

Even sleep couldn't help me. My dreams were simply haunting me..

=============Dream=============

I walked into a strange old house as I looked around. It seemed like nobody had lived here in ages.. There were spider webs everywhere, which creeped me out, and there was dust all over the place.

"Ashley?" I called out down a long hallway. It was lit up by a few lights which made things a little better. But still no response, which worried me. Where was everyone? "Nikki?" I called out again, hoping for a response... Nothing.

I continued walking down the hallway, the floor boards creaked underneath my boots, making things just that much creepier. "Mick?" I called out one more time, hoping and praying someone would answer. Instead of an answer, the lights shut off, enclosing me in a total pitch black curtain.

"Fuck!" I screamed out as I backed myself against a wall, which turned out not to be a wall, but it was a person.

"Hey." I heard Dj's voice say as I felt his hand get a tight grip on my forearm, making it impossible for me to break away. I couldn't see anything except for his bright eyes, which was scarey as fuck.

"Dj, what are you doing here?" I asked quickly, trying to make him let go of me. "Dj, quit it... Stop!" I yelled at him, punching his chest with my free hand, but still not feeling his grip loosen...

"You're going to die here." He started laughing and before I knew it, I was falling. I was just falling into this continous blackness. There was nothing around me. No noise, no floors, no door, nobody... Nothing at all. Just blackness as I continued to fall quickly.

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