The Lovers Have Lied

i'd walk through hell for you.
let it burn right through my shoes.
these soles are useless without you.
through hell for you
let the torturing ensue.
my soul is useless without you

“Thank God I’m here to help you, Andrew,” I said, “Because Parker’d kill you for this ring.” In my hands I held a thin gold band with a minuscule diamond set in the top. “I mean, this ring is too big for me, and Parker is a tiny little thing. And it’s so...”

“When I bought it, I asked myself if she’d want a simple little ring, or a big super blingy ring. When I thought about how simple our relationship is...I thought maybe the ring should reflect that.”

“Wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“The ring’s opulence should be inversely proportional to the simplicity of the relationship.”

“...What?” I sighed.

“Basically, the stronger your love is, the more it shines, and so, the brighter the ring should shine.”

“I just never pegged Parker as a girl with expensive tastes.”

“Your girlfriend has had a boob job, liposuction, and dyes her hair a new color every month. You think she’s simple?”

“You’re probably right.”

“Well then let’s go.”

***

“You know,” I said, admiring the new ring, “I almost want this one for myself. It’s gorgeous.”

“And expensive.”

“Look me in the eyes, Mr. MTV, and tell me you couldn’t afford this.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He rolled the ring between two fingers, letting it glint in the sunlight shining through the window. It was a silver band with little diamonds set into the whole band, and at the top there were three small diamonds set in a row: a blue, a pink, and a green.

“Plus, the powerpuff feel doesn’t hurt. Very her.”

“I really hope she likes it.”

“She will. Now what’re you thinking for the actual proposal?”

“I’m thinking...” He made a few unintelligible noises of no ideas. “I’m thinking this is why I need your help.” I laughed.

“Maybe.”

“Do you...have any ideas?”

“Well...she’ll want an audience. I can tell you that right now. We should all be there. What about...evening barbeque? Some time this week? Tell her it’s...just a ‘good to be home’ kind of deal and then at the end...boom, surprise.”

“I think I like it.”

“Very good. Oh shit!” I caught a glance at the clock. “I have to go teach! Ah fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

“Sorry!” called Andy as I ran upstairs. I could hear Patrick and Cassie in her room, but stopped short in the doorway.

“Dear god man, what are you doing?” I cried. Patrick dropped the doll he was dressing, and put his hands in the air. But we both laughed and he held the doll up to his face.

“I’m Sandy, aren’t I so pretty?” he asked.

“You’re so something,” I shook my head. “I have to drive out to my class now. Watch Cassie for me? I’ll be back in like three hours.” He stood up and gave me a hug.

“No problem, sugar. We’ll go to the playground or something.” He kissed me. “See you later.”

“Mm. Love you.”

“Patrick!” Cassie squealed. “Leave mommy alone, we have to get our nails done.”

“Cassie are you really going to paint my nails?”

“Pink!”

“Heather, tell her no!”

“Cassie...I think Patrick,” I started. “Would look much better with purple.”

“Okay mommy.”

“Heather!” He was laughing.

“Gotta go babe. Bye!” I walked into my room, pulled on my dance clothes, got in my car, and drove away.

***

“Please, sugar? It’s been like four days.”

“You are seriously the biggest closet nymphomaniac ever.”

“Biggest? Are you calling me fat again?”

“No. You’re hot.”

“Prove it.”

“Patrick,”

“Heather.”

God damn Patrick Stump and his bedroom logic.

“Okay. Tonight, I promise. I’ll even dance if you want.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“But answer me one question.”

“What’s that, sugar?” I managed to roll out from under him, but held his face, looking at mine, keeping him at attention.

“Are you ready to talk to Cassie?” I asked his eyes. He didn’t answer right away, but his face showed no doubt.

“Yes,” he whispered. “Ready when you are.”

“I’m ready.” He paused, probably not expecting me to want to go now. But then he nodded.

“Let’s go get her.”

***

We found Cassie in her room playing dolls again, this time with Andy. He looked up.
“I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun,” he said. There was a genuine smile on his face. I leaned against Patrick and smiled.

“A kid just kind of does that to you,” Patrick agreed.

“Actually, Andy,” I started. “If you could tear yourself away from the dream house for a little while...we want to talk to Cassie...about Patrick.” Andy’s jaw dropped, but only for a second, and he was on his feet and heading for the door before you could even blink.

“Absolutely,” he said. “Definitely. Proud of you guys.” He hurried down the stairs, and Patrick and I sat down with Cassie.

“Hello, Barbie girl,” I said. “Can I talk to you?” Cassie nodded, but didn’t take her concentration off of a stubborn doll’s shoe that just wouldn’t stay on. I gently removed the doll from her hands.

“Mommy!” She protested.

“Just for a minute sweetheart, I want your full attention, okay?” she crossed her arms and pouted at me.

“Fine,” she huffed.

“Okay sweetie, tell me this: do you love mommy very much?” I asked. Cassie nodded. “And Peter and Joey and Andy and Parker?” Cassie nodded again. “And Patrick?” I patted Patrick’s thigh.

“Yes,” said Cassie, getting fed up with all the questions.

“Well we all love you very much too,” Patrick said, pulling Cassie into his lap and rocking her side to side. “You’re the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world. But besides that, do you know why your mommy loves you so much?”

“Why?” sighed Cassie, slumping back against Patrick’s stomach, ear against his chest, completely uninterested.

“Mommy loves you because you’re her sweet little baby girl. You came right out of there,” he rubbed my stomach, “Did you know that?”

“Uh-huh.” Patrick wrapped his arms around Cassie’s shoulders and spoke close to her ear.
“And do you know why I love you so much?"

“Why?”

“Because I love your mommy very much. And,” he took a deep breath and pulled Cassie to her feet, swinging her arms gently with his hands holding hers, “and...while I know this might not make sense now, it will someday, but...I’m your daddy.” He choked on the words, tears closing his throat off like peanut butter. Cassie just stared at him wordlessly, and occasionally glanced at me. I was silent. Finally, her face screwed up with an emotion I couldn’t define. She ripped her hands out of Patrick’s grasp and flew out of the room. Patrick and I just sat there in stunned silence. Patrick finally looked at me, and through all the emotions I knew he had in his head, all he could manage to do was smile slightly. “Well I...I wasn’t prepared for that.”

“Jesus, me neither,” I muttered, rubbing his back. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why she reacted...that way.”

“I thought she’d be excited. I didn’t see that coming...”

“Me neither.”
But I really should have.