The Lovers Have Lied

I saw, I smelled what he did to you, girl,
and to be frank, the thought makes my innards curl.
How he preyed on your ripe insecurities.
The thorn in your side is alive, and it's killing me.

After coming close to tears, Patrick pulled himself together and we went downstairs to find Cassie. That didn’t take long; she was on the couch with Andy, clinging to him for dear life. She wasn’t crying, just staring at the wall, bunches of Andy’s shirt clutched in her fits. Andy sat there with a bewildered look on his face, stroking Cassie’s hair.

“She won’t tell me what’s wrong,” he started, “She just came barreling down the stairs and ran to me as soon as she saw me. What happened?”

“She...she freaked out when we told her that I’m her dad,” said Patrick, sitting down next to Andy. I stood in front of Andy and tried to pick Cassie up. She squealed and held on tighter.

“Cassie, sweetie, let go,” I groaned, surprised at her strength. I tried to pull again, and this time it actually lurched Andy forward.

“Woah, woah. It’s fine, Heather. Let her sit,” said Andy, leaning back again. I sighed and sat down on the floor.

“Cassie?” Her face scrunched up at my voice. “Why are you sad?” She wouldn’t respond.
“I’m sorry, Cassie,” Patrick said, his tone surprisingly even. “I thought you’d be excited. I thought we were having a lot of fun together.” Still nothing. I let the silence play out, letting Cassie calm down.

“Cassie, answer me. Do you want Patrick to be your daddy?” She didn’t move. She didn’t look at anyone, but she spoke, her voice scared and mournful.

“I don’t want him to leave...like Davey.” All the color drained from my face. It’s a hard realization to have, but too many mothers have it. Knowing that you messed your own kid up for life.

“Davey?” I choked, “You think Patrick will leave now that he’s your daddy? Because of what Davey did?” Cassie shrugged, and I could feel Andy and Patrick staring at me.

“Heather,” Patrick whispered, “Who’s Davey?” My mouth gaped for words like a fish out of water.

“Heather, answer him,” Andy commanded. I looked up at him, then at Patrick. They seemed to be putting two and two together. I couldn’t handle it. I stood up and walked out the back door. I sat cross-legged in the grass, face in my hands.

“Heather!” The back door opened and Patrick came running towards me. “Heather, what the fuck is going on here? Who the fuck is Davey?” I shook my head. “Heather, tell me...please.” I shook my head again in disbelief and stood up, hands in my back pockets.

“I haven’t thought about...David Michael Spano in almost...two years. I didn’t know that...this had happened to Cassie. Christ, I didn’t know she even remembered him. I just can’t believe it. I’m sorry, Patrick. This is all my fault.”

“Heather, What is your fault? I’m so fucking lost...” I took a deep breath, and two steps away from him.

“Before you get mad, or even say anything, you have to let me finish. Promise.” He nodded.

“Promise.”

“Okay,” I took another deep breath, “I met Dave Spano at a bar on my birthday three years ago. He was tall...tan...had hair that went down into green eyes...god damn, really hot,”

“I get the point.”

“Right, sorry. We went on some dates and found out that we really liked each other. Brought him home one day and he just loved Cassie. He had a thing with kids, I don’t know. Cassie was almost one. I didn’t tell him who her father was. He probably wouldn’t have believed me anyway. Dave was the first guy I’d dated since you left, and he was great in every way. We were serious for about a year. We did the ‘I love you’ thing, Cassie loved him...I really saw myself spending the rest of my life with him. About three days after Cassie’s second birthday, Dave proposed to me and I accepted,”

“What?!”

“Patrick! Anyway after like a week of engagement, we decided that we could tell Cassie that she could stop calling Dave by his name, and...start calling him Daddy.”

“Oh my God, Heather!”

“Shut up, Patrick! We were gonna have a wedding in the summer. But...”

“...but?”

“Relationships fail. We started fighting. Honestly now I can’t even remember what we fought about, but whatever it was...it was enough to make him just up and leave one day. You try explaining to a two-year-old girl why the man who was going to show her what it’s like to have a real father would just leave.”

“Well...what did you tell her?” I looked at him, knowing that if anything was going to set him off, it was going to be this.

“I told her that...sometimes daddies go away...and they can’t come back.”

“Well that was stupid.” His bluntness threw me.

“Well it’s not a lie, is it? Where’s mine? Where’s yours? Where’s Pete’s? Where are both of Cassie’s?”

“I’m right here, damn it!” he pounded his chest like an animal, completely overcome. “I came back! And you fucking know I never would’ve left if I’d known!” I sobbed and fell back to the ground, face back in my hands, crying like a rape victim. I could hear his breathing, growing calmer with every second. “Fuck...Heather...get up.” He placed a hand on both my hip and pulled me to my feet and into his arms. “Okay. Okay. We’re gonna...we’re gonna fix this.”

“How?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. But what choice do we have? This is just gonna be one of those...parenting things, isn’t it?”

“Normally, probably not.”

“Well, just going by her gene pool, I don’t think Cassie ever had a shot at ‘normal’, did she?” I had to laugh.

“I guess you’re right.” He pulled away and looked me in my eyes.

“She’s gonna figure out eventually that I’m not going anywhere. She’s your kid, she’s got to have some sense in her.” I shook my head.

“Any sense she’s got does not come from me, that’s for sure.”

“This may be true. I mean come on, how could you ever go for another guy after you’d had me?” We both laughed.

“Ugh, so you’re not mad?” he shrugged.

“It’s a bruise to my ego but...I’ll get over it. After all, I’m clearly smarter than this Dave guy. What was he thinking?” I shook my head.

“Shut up.”

“Make me!” He tickled my sides.

“Stop it, Patrick!”

“No.”

“Patrick!” he just laughed, and kissed me, lingering for a moment.

“Alright, gotta go.” He released me and started walking back towards the house.

“Where are you going?”

“Come on.”

“Patrick!”

“Come on!” I followed him inside, and back to where Cassie and Andy still sat, now with Parker. Patrick walked right over to them and picked Cassie up, ignoring her protests, and her almost ripping Andy’s shirt in an attempt to stay on the couch. “Come on, Bug, let’s go talk.” He succeeded in hoisting Cassie over his shoulder, and headed for the stairs.

“Am I coming?” I asked, hands on my hips.

“Nope.”

“So what are we supposed to-“

“Just wait.”

***

It was less than ten minutes before Patrick came back downstairs, this time carrying Cassie (not like a hostage this time) on his back. She was smiling and talking to him like they were old day care pals. It was infectious.

“What’s going on, baby girl?” I asked, sitting up.

“Me and Cassie are gonna go on an adventure, I think,” Patrick said, swinging Cassie around and lowering her to her feet.

“Where are you going?” I prodded. Patrick shrugged.

“Dunno yet. Somewhere fun. Either way, we’re borrowing the car. Joe!”

“Yello?” Joe poked his head through the kitchen doorway.

“Wanna come for a ride with me and Cassie?”

“Why I surely do.” And he walked into the room. The three of them started walking towards the front door.

“Get her dinner, Patrick!” I called.

“Yes, baby.”

“And have her home by eight!”

“Yes, baby.”

“Where are we going?” asked Joe.

“Let’s go to the zoo!” cried Cassie.

“Holy crap, this is my kid!” yelled Patrick, sending Parker, Andy, and I into hysterics. As the front door opened and closed, we calmed down, and Andy turned to me.

“Everything okay?" he asked.

“Yeah, I think so.