The Lovers Have Lied

i just want back in your head
i'm not unfaithful but i'll stray
when i get a little scared.

Of course Patrick came home after a few hours. I wasn’t exactly scared that he wouldn’t. I wanted the chance to explain to him that what he walked in on was a total mistake, and it meant nothing. I probably should’ve known though, that he wouldn’t want to hear it. I found him sitting on my (our, I guess?) room.

“Hey Patrick,” I said, knocking on the doorframe.

“Don’t even start,” he muttered from his place, curled up on the bed.

“Oh grow up, Pat. Listen to me for two minutes.” He stood up and bumped his shoulder past mine on his way down the stairs. I followed and on my away into the kitchen saw that Pete was still sill sitting, frozen on the couch. Had he really been there for almost five hours?

“Pete! Heather! Dinner!” called Joe from the kitchen. I watched Pete, waiting to see if he’d finally move. He didn’t.

“Pete?” I tapped him on the shoulder. He hollered and flew right off the couch, turning to face me. “Sorry...” I whispered. He shook his head and seemed like he wanted to say something, but his mouth stayed closed. It just became a staring contest.

“Heather! Pete! Come on!” Joe called again. Pete looked at me once more and then hurried past me and into the kitchen.

***

Dinner was painfully awkward. I sat next to Cassie, Joe on her other side. Patrick sat opposite Joe, with Parker next to him, and Andy across from me. Pete sat on at the head of the table, between me and Andy. Parker, Andy, and Joe were discussing the latest Cute is What We Aim For album, but their voices were dull in my ears. I was splitting my attention between Pete and Patrick. Patrick kept glaring at me, then at Pete, then down at his dinner. Pete was the quietest I think I’ve ever seen him, sitting totally still and staring at his plate, on which sat pasta that he just wouldn’t touch.

“But ‘Doctor’ remains the best song on the album though,” said Parker. “Right, Pete?” she asked, turning to him. He didn’t do anything. “Pete?”

“Pete what’s up with you today?” asked Andy.

“Why aren’t you talking?” asked Joe. He then noticed me and Patrick. “Heather and Patrick: same question.” Patrick and I both looked at Joe, then at each other. Joe was looking from me, to Pete, to Patrick. “Did something happen?” he finally asked. Parker dropped her fork onto her plate with a loud clang, actually causing Pete to jump and look up; the first movement I’d seen from him the whole evening.

“Oh my God, something happened!” she exclaimed.

“Not now, Parker,” I threatened.

“Pete, what did you do?” Parker pressed, almost knowingly. Pete was taking deep panic breaths, fingertips digging into the table’s edge. Patrick’s face was glowing a darker and darker red every second. I backed abruptly away from the table, startling everyone.

“Come on Cassiebean, bath time.” I scooped my daughter out of her chair and we rushed upstairs.

***

“How long before Joe brings Parker back?”

“Forty-five minutes.”

“Ah shit.”

“When I’m done with the salad should I start on the veggie burgers?” I asked.

“Yeah. Hey Pete, come help me work out this light canopy,” Andy said.

“Patrick?” I called. Everyone stopped and stares. No one knew exactly what happened with me and Pete, but they knew for sure that Patrick, Pete and I were not speaking to each other. Patrick looked at me. “Patrick, could you start getting the folding tables out of the garage?” I asked. He didn’t even acknowledge that I’d spoken, but walked to the garage.

“Are any of you ever gonna talk about it?” asked Andy. I glanced at Pete, who was looking nervously back at me, waiting for my response. I shook my head.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“We’re not stupid, Heather,” Joe chimed in, “You and Patrick can’t go this long without talking to each other.”

“Know what? Just drop it. Andy is proposing in two hours, let’s not wreck by with talking about stupid arguments.” And I went back to mixing the salad.

***

Everything at the barbeque was going really well. I was trying to smile at Patrick, but he wasn’t having it. All week I’d been trying to just wait it out, assuming he couldn’t stay mad at me forever, but now I was wondering if maybe he could. Why couldn’t he understand that I love him, and not Pete? I honest to God fee nothing for the kid, that kiss told me so for sure. I wondered about Pete though; why had he been so introverted and jumpy since it happened? What went through his head? Had I missed something in our brother-sister relationship?

“Hey guys!” Andy called, bringing a silence over the group. “I um...I have something to say.” His voice was shaky and I could see his hands trembling. I had to hide a smile behind my cup so that Parker wouldn’t get suspicious. She was staring at Andy, eyebrows furrowed, wondering what was going on. Andy took Parker’s hand and they both stood up, walking away from the table. They stood in the grass and Andy took both Parker’s hands in his. I could’ve mouthed his words as he spoke them; he’d practiced this speech with me for three days now.

“Parker...” he started, swallowing hard. “I love you so much. I never saw you coming, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and more than I ever could’ve asked for. I never want to have to spend another minute without you. Never want to have a day when I don’t wake up next to you, or go home without you. I’ve never been quite as sure about anything as I am about you. You test me, challenge me, laugh with me, and love me unconditionally...” Parker was on the verge of tears, and openly sobbed when Andy took a pause to bend down on one knee. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and flipped it open. Parker had her hands over her mouth in total shock. I was about to cry myself, and hugged Cassie close to me as she sat on my lap.

“Parker Emily Morgan, will you marry me?” Andy asked, his voice so even and calm. I was so proud of him. I looked at Parker, who was so far past being able to form words. She just nodded quickly, and Andy smiled as he slid the ring onto her finger. Parker pulled Andy to his feet and kissed him hard, and we all clapped. Cassie was cheering, I tried to explain to her what was going on, and while she didn’t fully get it, she knew that what she was seeing was very good. I side-glanced at Patrick, and looked over my shoulder at Pete. They were both smiling for the first time in a long time: genuinely happy smiles. Maybe there was hope for this yet.

***

Andy and Parker had gone immediately to “bed” outside in the tour bus. Was it honestly going to be so insane that they couldn’t do it in the house? I hope neither of them hurt themselves.

I had just put Cassie to sleep and jumped into the shower to just zen out. As I was getting out and drying myself off, I heard voices outside the door. The unmistakable, nasally, permanently teen voice of Pete, and Patrick’s voice that I don’t think I can ever forget.

“You just want to run in there and take her, don’t you?”

“Shut up, Pete.”

“Listen, Trick, you can’t keep this grudge forever. Think about Heather, fuck, think about Cassie.”

“Pete, this is your fault, stop trying to fix it. It’s really not your place.”

“You’re right, it is my fault. And therefore, it’s my place. It’s killing me that you’re angry at Heather for something she didn’t even do.”

“She kissed you back.”

“That’s not why you’re mad.”

“It’s not?”

“You’re mad because you know I’m a threat. You’ve always known that.”

“Pete-“

“Listen, I know you’ve never been happy about how close I am with her.”

“Well you-“

“And I know you know how I feel about her.” I was literally pressed against the door, barely breathing, shocked and awed by what I was hearing.

“I don’t wanna hear about this, Pete.” But Pete pressed on.

“You know that I’ve never felt for any girl what I’ve felt for Heather. I’ve been in love with Her my since the moment I met her. But I know you have too. And she went for you, not me. But something tells me you’ve always worried about something erupting between Heather and I. And it did. I lost control.”

“But Pete, she kissed you back.”

“And hasn’t spoken to me since. I got a lot more out of it than she did. She loves you, Patrick. She has your child, for Christ’s sake. Talk to her.”

“Pete, I can’t.”

“You’ve been a distant asshole all week.”

“Yeah thanks.”

“But she forgave close to five years of distant asshole-ness already, didn’t she?” Silence. “Didn’t she?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then I think she can handle this. She can handle it because she knows you’re worth it. For Cassie and for herself.”

“Thanks, Pete.”

“I’m sorry I put you through this, bro.”

“It’s...it’s okay.”

“I think you know that if I didn’t think you were good for her, I would’ve stolen her right out from under you. But I’ve never seen her quite as happy as when she’s holding your hand.”

I had to smile. So Pete had a secret love lust for me, but at least he was willing to step aside for Patrick. I always knew he was the good guy. A little overly hormonal, but a good guy.