The Lovers Have Lied

Sunlight woke me up early. Patrick had fallen asleep with his hands on my boobs. Took me a good minute and a half to realize it too. I gently unlaced his fingers and started to get up, but Patrick got me by the hips and pulled me back down. I squealed in surprise; I’d had no clue he was awake.

“Morning,” he mumbled, a sleepy smile on his face.

“Hi,” I responded, my dry throat making scratches in my voice. He kissed me.

“You are soooo gorgeous.” I laughed.

“Ugh, tell me that after I’ve showered.” His boyish smile was back.

“I’d rather tell you in the shower.” His hands were wandering again. “You and me, let’s go.” Dear God, he knew every spot on my body that turned me on. But I put on my mock-serious voice and tried to resist.

“Now Patrick, there is a specific time and place for this kind of talk-“ he was officially growling, and it was vibrating straight into my neck. It was all I had in me not to moan, but that would just egg him on.

“Mhm, time is now, place is here.” I grabbed his shoulders and held him playfully at bay.

“Okay, slow down. Let me clarify something for you. What time is it?” Patrick pulled his arm out from under the covers and checked his watch.

“Eight fifty seven.”

“Right. And here you are, trying to make me function before nine AM with no coffee in my system.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m getting up, making coffee, then maybe going out with Parker. But first, I’m getting dressed,” I kissed him, giving just enough tongue to tease the hell out of him. “Slowly,” I added before sliding out of bed.

***

When I got downstairs I could smell fresh-brewed coffee. I walked into the kitchen and Parker extended a hot mug towards me.

“Who’s the best?” she asked. My jaw dropped as I inhaled the smell.

“I. Love you. I want to turn lesbian and marry you. And you will be my live-in coffee wench forever more.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Where’s everybody?”

“Ummmm...Pete and Joe went grocery shopping I think, Andy’s still asleep on the couch, Cassie’s still sleeping and...I have no clue where Patrick is.”

“Oh, he’s still asleep in my room.” Parker choked on her coffee.

“Patrick? Asleep in Heather’s bed? Oh happy scandal!” I had to laugh, she laughed too, but then she became serious. “So did you...tell him?” I nodded. “How’d he...I mean, is he okay?”
I nodded again.

“It didn’t go how I thought it would.”

“What, did he freak?”

“Not at all. He was really calm. I think he was just completely shocked. And I was so scared...and so relieved that I just broke down. And he told me it was okay...and one thing lead to another and BOOM: bed.”

“Yayyyy.” She clapped. “When are you telling Cassie?”

“Soon I guess. I wanted to talk to Pat about that today actually.”

“Good plan, good plan. And hey, next time you guys wanna, you know, start a fire, tell him to take you out to the tour bus.” She noticed my eyebrows raise. “I tell you sweetie, you have not lived until you’ve fucked in a bus bunk. Swear to God.” I shook my head.

“And the award for ‘Mental Image I Definitely Didn’t Need Today’ goes to...” Parker bowed to imaginary applause.

“How are you and Andy doing anyway?” she smiled.

“Great. We’re not bored of each other which is always good. The sex is phenomenal.”

“Again with the information which I do not need!” She smacked the table from laughing so hard. “So you guys have been together for like...six years haven’t you?”

“Like six and a half, I think. We don’t really bother with the whole anniversary thing, so I don’t know exactly.”

“Wow though. Think you guys’ll get married?”

“I...I don’t know. I mean...God knows I love that boy. I loooove Andrew John Hurley with all my heart and my life, no question. But I mean...I don’t know if I’m cut out for married life, you know? But I want to be able to do something for him. I know he wants to get married. Pete told me that Andy bought a ring like a YEAR ago and he’s just a nervous fuck.”

“If Andy walked into this kitchen right now, got down on one knee and said ‘Parker Angela Morgan, will you marry me?’ what would you say?” She opened her mouth to reply, but then hesitated. Her smile grew, then faded, then grew again.

“I’d say...hell yes dummy, why are you even asking?”

“Then you, dear madame, are cut out for married life.” She looked for assurance in her coffee mug.

“Heyooooo!” called Andy as he came into the kitchen. He had Cassie in his arms. “Look what I found.” He flipped Cassie upside-down and she howled with laugher. He then threw her gently into the air and caught her her, earning screams.

“Andy, be careful!” Parker cautioned.

“She’s fine, babes.” Andy placed Cassie down on the floor, and she ran and jumped into my lap, kissing my cheek.

“Guh Mawning mommy.”

“Good morning Barbie girl.” She giggled at her favorite nickname.

“And how are my three favorite senoritas this morning?” Andy asked.

“Fine,” Parker and I chorused. Andy laid a good morning kiss to Parker’s lips.

“Mm, you’ve got morning breath. But you’re still hot when you speak Spanish.” Andy say down and drained Parker’s mug.

“Yeah, or what little I know.” Parker shrugged.

“You’re still adorable.”

“I know this.” He turned to me. “You and fearless leader seemed to be working things out last night. What happened?”

“Things I can’t say in front of Cassie. But I told him a big secret,” I placed a hand on Cassie’s head. “And...there were hot dogs and donuts for everyone.”

“I want a donut!” cried Cassie. Andy and Parker collapsed with laughter.

“Well, Cassidy sweetie, you’ll have one soon. I promise.”

“Nope, nope you’ll have one now,” said Parker, wiping a tear from her eye. “I wanna go out. I’ll take your car to Dunkin’s with Cassie. That way you can talk to Patrick about that big secret for a while.” I mouthed “thank you” to Parker as she stood up, lifting Cassie out of my lap. “Come on Cassieface, let’s get dressed. You and Auntie Parker are gonna steal mommy’s car.”

“James Bond! James Bond!” Cassie squealed.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Andy stood up once Parker’s and Cassie’s voices had faded.

“I’m gonna shower, cool?” I nodded. “Pete and Joe should be back soon, they went on a mega shopping trip because we’ve pretty much been cleaning you out, you know?”

“It’s fine, dude. I’m pumped to have you guys raping my kitchen again.” He laughed and started to leave. “Hey Andy?”

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“You and Parker: dating ‘till the day you die?”

“Verses...?”

“Getting married? Starting a family? I don’t know.” Andy took a deep breath.

“I really love that girl, Heather. I really do.”

“She loves you too.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“So what’s stopping you?” he shook his head.

“I got her this gorgeous ring and everything. At least, I think it’s gorgeous. I’m just...I guess I’m just waiting for the...right time, I guess?” He crossed the room in two steps and got on his knees, resting his hands on my thighs. “Hey...will you help me set something up? A proposal? Something epic, beautiful, perfect. Something she’ll remember. God, I’ll feel so much better if you sign off on everything.” He stared at me with the pleading puppy-dog eyes that we all knew him for.

“How can I say no? Of course, we’ll plan it all out soon.” He jumped up and kissed my cheek.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! You’re the greatest, like really, the greatest.” I’d never seen him smile quite so wide. He ran upstairs and I heard him bolt himself in the bathroom. Almost as soon as the door was closed, I heard Pete and Joe yelling for help outside. I walked out the front door to see Pete and Joe on the ground panting in the driveway, at least a dozen plastic grocery bags laying around them.

“You guys could’ve taken my car!” Pete made the effort to lift his head, and stare at me like I was crazy.

“No way in hell were we going into your room to ask for your car with Patrick in there. God knows what kind of porno we would’ve seen.” He sat up, shaking his tired arms. “Now help us out.” I walked over to Joe as Pete pulled himself to his feet, and together we lifted Joe up. We each pulled up equal bags, and Pete and Joe sprinted into the house yelling “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Pete dropped his bags onto the kitchen floor and ran into the living room. I dropped my bags near his and called to him.

“Oh, awesome. Strand me with unloading these?” Pete peeked his head through the kitchen door, and I heard a voice singing. I looked at him as he began to mouth along to Head Automatica, blasting from his iHome.

“Baby is this love for real?” Joe and I joined in, hamming it up, just for fun.

“Let me in your arms to feel the beating of your heart baby, the beating of your heart baby!” Pete placed his iHome on the table and began to dance as he helped us put food away.

“Dance Party! Dance Party!” cried Cassie, running down the stairs. Cassie started jumping in a circle, waving her arms to the music.

“Cassie, come on girl let’s go get donuts. Don’t you wanna hang out with me?” Parker whined from the doorway.

“Want dance party, Auntie Parker!” Cassie yelled. Parker rolled her eyes and started to tango with Joe. Patrick came wandering into the room, wondering what all the nose was about. When Cassie saw him: the only person not doing something, she held her arms up to him and jumped. “Dance with me, Patrick!” she demanded. He froze for a moment, and stared at her as if he’d never seen her before. He suddenly looked at me, and his eyes begged for help. I nodded, and he smiled, lifting Cassie into the air. They laughed together, and the pure euphoria on Patrick’s face was enough to make me want to cry. He bounced his daughter around in time with the song, singing softly along. You could not beat this feeling, not with anything in the world.

***

Parker eventually got Cassie out of the house so we could talk freely about the situation. But no one was really rushing to do so, at least not in the serious tone I felt it deserved.

“So, Miss Matheson; Other than raising a pop icon’s illegitimate child, how have you been busying yourself these past few years?” asked Pete, leaning on the table, interviewer style. I smiled as Patrick tried to hide a slight blush

“I could show you,” I suggested, standing up.

“Uhhh, given your mad skills with Patrick, do we want to see what you do for a living?” Joe shook his head at Pete’s question. I just did three toe touches and an arm stretch before going into the latest ballet routine from my teen class. I was flawless, or as flawless as one can be when dancing to Cinderella in a kitchen. When I was done, I stepped into first position and bowed, to surprising applause from the four boys.

“You’re a dancer now?” asked Joe in total disbelief.

“I used to ballet and tap when I was younger, but I quit like a year before we moved out here. I started going back to a studio right outside Chicago, you know, to get my figure back after Cassie was born. And one day they had an opening for a new teacher for six year olds which...sounded easy enough. So I got into that, while still learning myself, and now I have a class of six and seven year olds, ten and eleven year olds, and fifteen and sixteen year olds. That was my fifteen and sixteen year old’s latest routine. Or, part of it. That was Cinderella’s chores dance.”

“Damn Patrick, you’re one lucky son of a bitch,” Andy stated blankly.

“Yeah...she is pretty amazing,” Patrick replied, standing and pulling me close, pressing our foreheads together.

“I believe Andrew was referring to how high Heather got her leg before. Lucky fucking bastard.” Patrick was surprised by the joke, and his laugh reflected it, laughing right into my face which was still touching his. I didn’t mind the almost harsh sound; he was just happy. Probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him. To add to the comedy, I took my right leg and wrapped it around his frame as high as I could, managing to get as high as his ribcage.
“You’re the most adorable thing.”

“Actually you are. You’re my teddy bear.”

“Are you calling him fat, Heatherette?” laughed Pete.

“No!” I let go of Patrick and turned to the smiling bunch. “He’s a...little chubby, that’s all.” Patrick dropped his head and pouted, channeling Andy’s puppy-dog eyes. “Oh baby, it’s just from being on the road.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “You’re still sexy.” My fingers found the roughness on the sides of his face, and I scrunched up my nose at him. “Shave these sideburns! They’re nasty.” Patrick pouted again.

“Not Frederick and Steven!” cried Andy. “If you shave them off then Roland and Jonas will have no one to talk to!”

“You named your sideburns?” I shouted. Andy looked shocked.

“It’s a brotherhood,” he said, as if insulted.

“...of sideburns,” I finished. “Unbelievable.” Patrick laughed and snaked his hands around my shoulders from behind.

“We’re just goofing around, sugar.” He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. “And I’ll shave them later.”

“I heard that!” yelled Andy, unable to contain his smile.

“What I meant was,” started Patrick, sitting down and pulling me between his legs, “I’ll shave my sideburns later, if...”

“If?” I questioned him.

“If you’ll dance for me. Much later.”

“You brat.” I pounded on his chest.

“You love it,” he goaded.

“Yeah, I probably do.” I tugged on his arm. “Can I talk to you for a little while?” I tried to put on my serious face. He caught it.

“Sure, sugar.” He let me lead him to the living room couch. “Talk to me,” he commanded as we sat. I sat facing him and held his hands.

“Do you want to tell Cassie that you’re her dad? Should I? When-“

“She barely knows me, Heather.”

“I know but...”

“Give her some time to get used to me.”

“We’ve waited a long time for this-“

“No, you’ve waited a long time. Would I be wrong to say that Cassie is probably none the wiser?

“Well, I guess not but...yeah, okay.”

“I’ll make her like me. She’ll have fun with me and then...next week. How about next week? Thursday. One week from today.” I nodded.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. That’s exactly what she needs.” He kissed me lightly, running a hand through my hair.

“I love Cassie. I love you. I loved you the day I met you. And till the day I die, I swear on everything I am, that I will love you,” he kissed me again, “like oxygen.”