Disenchanted

As soon as we got to the park, Alex was off and running. I chuckled and kept a close eye on him as I pulled everything I needed out of the car. I set up a small picnic blanket and set down Alex's toys, my sketchbook, Alex's bag full of spare clothes and food for both of us. I watched as he went over to a little girl and they started playing together. I smiled contended as they see sawed and brought over my sketch book.

I started to do a rough outline of them see sawing before adding in the details. A wisp of hair escaping here, a flower swaying over there, and the sparkle reflecting in both of their eyes. I looked up and saw they had climbed onto the stand where there was a wheel. Alex was pretending to steer and the girl was laughing as she tooted the horn. I smiled serenely at them and added in some shading to my drawing.

"That looks fantastic..."
I jumped as a voice popped out from behind me. I whirled around and my eyes widened as I saw Mikey behind me with a tall, black haired girl.
"Mikey, oh my God, you frightened the life out of me!" I exclaimed, shutting my sketchbook and standing up.
Reflexively my eyes went to check on Alex and I saw he was now playing on a double slide. He and the girl were racing each other.
I turned back and gave the couple a smile.
"So, who's your friend then?" I asked.
Mikey blinked a few times and the girl started to laugh.
"Jeez, don't I feel loved," she commented sarcastically.
I gave her and Mikey a quizzical look and he responded with a grin.
"This, is my fiancè, and one of your best friends," he responded.
I frowned and took her in. She was tall-ish. Shorter than Mikey but not smaller than me. She had longish black hair and was wearing a face full of make up with a mischievous smile.
My eyes widened. I recognised that smile, but that couldn't be!
"Alicia?!" I squealed, excitedly.
"Of course! Who else would it be?!" she laughed, and pulled me in for a hug.
"How are you two still together? It's been eight years!" I exclaimed.
"We got lucky..." Mikey said quietly.
I thought about my past eight years and my lips pursed slightly. Married, a mother and then separated. I guess I wasn't quite as lucky. However, I was still happy for my friends.

"So what the fuck happened to you? I mean, one day you were there and the next you weren't? And now you talk and stuff too?"
I looked at Mikey confused and he looked down, ashamed.
"I-I... Family services came and got me and brought me to Chicago... I met my real family and... they're amazing, Alicia. My brother put me into speech therapy and psychological therapy and... he's probably the reason I am where I am. He is... one in a million," I explained, my voice growing fond when speaking of Bob.
I adored my younger brother.
"What? Your real parents? But I thought?" Alicia looked between Mikey and I confused.
I forgot that Gerard had kept it a secret.
"I'm, well, I was adopted," I explained.
Her mouth dropped.
"Oh my God! Your life could make some kind of lifetime movie or something!" she exclaimed.
I just laughed.
"So... your real parents then? What are they like?" she asked.
"They're lovely. When they found out about me, and the life that I'd been given, they brought me straight back into their arms. I must admit, it was difficult to forgive them at first, but then they explained everything and, I've since come to accept it," I finished.
"So... why did they give you up then?" she questioned.
"They had no money and their parents were going to cut them off. They were young, I think my mother was seventeen when she gave birth to me. They weren't even out of school, " I answered.
Alicia shrugged.
"I suppose. But still..." she grumbled.
Mikey nudged her slightly and she sighed.
"So what else has happened to you then?" she asked.
I smiled and looked to the playground. Upon where neither the girl or Alex could be seen.

My blood ran ice cold and I started to shake.
"ALEX?!" I screamed, and ran into the playground.
"ALEX?!" I screamed again.
I ran right around the structure but there wasn't anywhere for him to hide from me.
"ALEX!"
Tears were now falling down my cheeks as I thought of every worst scenario. I imagined him being kidnapped, him being lost, him falling and hurting himself. Then another thought struck me and the blood drained from my face. Aaron?
"ALEX! Get back here NOW!" I screamed, a new note of panic in it.
"Bells! What's wrong?! Who's Alex?" Mikey asked urgently, running up to me, trying to pull me towards him.
I shoved him away, the only thing I cared about was getting my son back. I berated myself for taking my eye off him for one second, he was my baby, my absolute everything. Everything I did, I did it for him.
"ALEX!!" I screamed again.
"Belladonna!"
"Mommy!"

I whirled around and I saw the girl, her mother and Alex exiting the park's toilet. They were all holding hands and I nearly sagged with relief before fury rose up.
How dare this woman hold my son's hand and take him anywhere?!
"Mommy!" Alex squealed as he ran to me.
I ran to him and scooped him up in my arms and held him tight as tears of rage and relief fell. I inhaled his hair's sweet scent and then I sent the woman my best glare.
"HOW DARE YOU?!" I yelled, after covering Alex's ears.
She looked at me surprised.
"He is NOT your son! He is not your responsibility! If he wants to use the toilet, he goes with me! Not a stranger! If I ever see you near him again I will have you arrested for kidnapping! How would you like it if I took off with your little girl without telling you!" I screamed at her.
I was so angry I was shaking. The woman's mouth opened and closed repeatedly. A few more tears leaked out and I pressed my face into Alex as I fought to control myself.
"I-I'm sorry," she murmured.
I looked at her before turning my back on her and walking off.
"Mommy, why did you yell at her? She was nice," Alex asked.
"Baby, don't you remember me telling you not to talk to strangers? Strangers can be nice, but they can also be mean, and Mommy was very, very scared when she couldn't find you. She thought she would never see you again," I explained quietly.
I then remembered Mikey and Alicia and walked over to them, their mouthes agape.
"This is what happened to me. This is my son, Alexander Joseph Bryar," I introduced.
"Baby, these are my friends, Mikey and Alicia," I introduced to Alex.
Mikey and Alicia stared at Alex and Alex stared back before smiling and pushing his head into my hair.
"I need to sit down," Mikey said, before sinking to the ground.

"So. what happened? Who's the father? How old is he?" Alicia asked.
We ended up leaving the park and driving to the nearest McDonalds. I let Alex play in the playground, my eyes flicking to check on him every 30 seconds.
"Okay. I think we should start when I got to Chicago. I was, well as you know, messed up and severely depressed. The first night I was there I... I tried to kill myself again. But my brother stopped me. He told me that it wasn't the answer and he wanted to help me. He had always known of me and he always wanted to meet me. I remember feeling so pathetic and stupid. I have to admit, all I wanted was you guys... and Gerard. Him especially," I laughed softly at that. I hadn't thought of Gerard in years and it was strange to suddenly be bringing up all these memories...
"Anyway. So after a month or so of moping my brother booked me into speech therapy. I don't know if you guys ever noticed, but I was starting to talk... well, whisper sort of. But that all stopped when I moved to Chicago. I didn't even try anymore until Bob promised me that if I went to speech therapy we would go back to Jersey on my eighteenth... to see you guys," I murmured.
"Wait... So you know your birthday now?" Mikey interrupted, excitedly.
I laughed.
"Yes. I was born at exactly three-oh-six am on April 24," I answered.
Mikey grinned and Alicia looked at me confused.
"She forgot her own birthday when she was a kid," he explained to her briefly and she nodded in understanding before looking back to me.
"Anyway. So I started into speech therapy, and I really, really wanted to impress you guys so I did everything I could to talk to have a proper conversation with you. Four months flew by and soon it was time for my birthday and I was so excited. We bought bus tickets down and when we turned up to your place... it was empty," My tone was sad by that point.
I could remember how crushed I had felt and how disappointed I was in myself. I had run to the school but there was some kind of break on and it was closed. I went to my old coffee shop and the only person I had liked there, James, was gone. I even went to Frank's place to find it empty as well. All I could think about was how I had lost my only friends.
"I am so sorry... Our parents split up and with Gerard in Art College he had to move to New York which meant Mom couldn't handle the cost of the house. So we moved... Frank's family had moved to Newark as well which means we lost contact for a little bit. I am so sorry we weren't there Bells," Mikey apologised, he looked so upset and I couldn't help but smile.
"Don't worry about a think Mikes, we've reconnected now and that's all that matters," I assured him.
"So go on, where does Alex's father fit into this?" Alicia asked.
I laughed softly.
"After we came back to Chicago... I stopped my speech therapy. I had no use for it anymore, I thought. Again though, Bob managed to convince me otherwise, but he also put me into therapy. I mean, my parents paid for it, but he organised it. He was the one who pushed and fought for it. Believe it or not but I actually met Alex's father there. I think I was about just over halfway through my therapy so about my second year, close to my third year we met. He was... so charming, such a beautiful smile. For the first time I felt something tickle my insides. Initially we were just doing group therapy sessions but then I dunno. We were just alone together one day and we fell in love. We started to see each other and eight months later he proposed to me. I agreed. I thought we were perfect together. We were married for about a year before I fell pregnant with Alex. I thought I was being given a second chance, I honestly did. I was so happy. My family wasn't. They had wanted me to experience life a bit more before I settled down and had kids, but they didn't push it too bad. They never once mentioned adoption, for obvious reasons," I laughed.
Mikey and Alicia just looked at each other a bit uneasily.
"When Alex came, everything was perfect. Aaron bought us a good sized unit in the heart of the city, and he took care of us. Until..." I paused, this would be the second time in just two days I'd be thinking of Beth and her baby Alana.
"Until?" Mikey pressed.
"Until our good friend's wife and six year old daughter got murdered in a home invasion," I said softly.
"Oh my God!" Alicia gasped in horror.
Mikey just shook his head in disbelief.
"I am so sorry, I had no idea," he murmured.
I shrugged it off. I still felt a pang. Beth and I had not been best friends, but she was a lovely person, inside and out and did not deserve to die so young, and Alana had only just started Primary school and was shining. She was an absolute darling. I felt tears brim as I thought about the young pair.
"They didn't deserve that. Alana and Beth were both far too young for something like that... That day started something though. Perhaps it was always there, perhaps that's what he had been seeking therapy for... I'm not sure... But Aaron... just... he made it impossible to live there anymore. H-he... he wouldn't... he wasn't... He never hit me," I always got torn when I talked about this part.
Mikey and Alicia were both confused.
"He was controlling. He liked to know everything at every second. He always said it was so he could better protect me. From more home invaders. But it was suffocating. He manipulated everything. I stopped being able to go out, I couldn't take Alex out and every time I tried to talk about it he would just get angry. I couldn't live Mikey... I couldn't live like that... Trapped in a unit. I loved him... but not this him. I had to leave him. I had to leave him for Alex. He is my priority. He is my everything. Everything I do, it's for him. I ended up picking up the phone and calling Bob. I hadn't spoken to him for a good year but, he understood and rescued me. He made sure it was while Aaron was on a business trip and then he hid me out at a friends place for probably a month before he allowed me back into his place. He said that the visits from Aaron had finally stopped and I was able to come back home and that's where I've been for the past four or five months or so," I finished.
I was wringing my hands and looking into the playground, watching Alex climb on everything.

"Wow... that is... a lot to take in. I think you did the right thing. That is no way to live at all and Alex needs outside experiences. You are a good mother... I always knew you would be," Mikey said softly.
I gave him a shy smile before it turned into a frown.
"Alex still asks me about his father... but I can't bring myself to go back there. I'm... scared..." I mumbled.
"I'm not surprised. I think you do have to explain things to him... but when he's a bit older, when he can understand things a bit more," Alicia suggested.
"Yeah, I know... It just, breaks my heart when he asks when he's going to see Daddy next. He and his father got on so well..." I sighed.
"Sometimes we have to lie to the ones we love most to protect them," Alicia said softly, giving my hand a quick, reassuring squeeze.
I smiled and looked at my beautiful boy before turning back to them.
"So, what happened to you guys then?"