Hallelujah

I woke up halfway through the night, shaking violently again as I lay in Brian's arms (Yes, I'd been promoted. I'm quite happy with the arrangement.). He stirred slightly and his hoarse voice slurred sleepily in my ear,

"Wuswrong, Cady?" Nope, can't tell you. Sorry.

"N-nothing... go back to sleep," I said, trying my best to control the tremors. I'd just revisited the scene at the studio, but it had ended quite differently. Instead of me running out, I'd walked (Don't ask me how, I have no idea.) through the glass of the booth to where Matt sat forlorn on the black stool, and made out indulgently with him to, in essence, tell him without words that I felt the same. I don't know what it is about him that made me so... I guess the term would be quiver, ..but it needs to stop.

Yes, I muttered to the voice, I'm fucking aware, I just don't have any fucking idea how!

Maybe I'm just so guilty, it's effecting me physically through the shaking.. I tensed in surprise then relaxed completely when Brian's soft lips began to play with the back of my neck. I closed my eyes again and concentrated on the way it felt.

He really does seem to care about me, that's just what makes this situation feel so much worse..