Bittersweet

Latoya swallowed nervously as she saw Fernando enter Ava’s room. She believed the conversation would go well. It had to. Despite what occurred between the couple in the past, they had to make it work. It weren’t just about their feelings for one another, though they'd never admit them, but it wasn’t fully about them anymore. It was about their baby.

“Has he gone in?” Juan’s voice came from next to her. Latoya shook away her thoughts as her focus turned on him. He’d arrived back from the cafeteria with more drinks for them both. Latoya smiled thankfully as she took the hot cup of coffee from him.

“Yeah, just now.”

“We better stay then until Miguel comes. We can’t afford to have him running in on them, especially at this time.”

“Why can’t things just be simple for once? Everything has to be hard. It causes so much mess.” Latoya muttered sadly, hugging her boyfriend. Juan gave her a sad smile.

“Because they are. That’s part of life.”

“Whatever you said to Fernando, I really hope it works.”

“I told him to put himself in Ava’s position, that he needed to think it through properly.” He answered. “He needs to give her at least a chance to explain and let her say her opinion before he gives his.”

“See, this is why you’re my boyfriend. You’re so supportive, loving and you really are a great person.” Latoya complemented, earning a smile off of Juan.

“I am aren’t I?” Juan joked, making Latoya giggle as she hugged her boyfriend a little tighter to her chest.

-

Fernando and Ava both sat in silence as they sent each other awkward glances now and again. No one knew where to start or how to begin exactly. It was hard for them both. From the corner of her eye, Ava spotted Fernando as he cautiously stared down at the slightest bump poking out from underneath her hospital gown. For just a second, Ava caught his gaze but he looked away before his eyes could meet hers. He let out a discomforted cough.

“Y-You look better.” commented Fernando, finally looking up at the female while trying to remain calm. It wouldn’t be any use to show he was nervous because he’d then make Ava nervous. The pressure was already high enough for them both.

“I don’t feel it.” Ava replied, fiddling with her fingers. A bothersome habit of hers when it came to being in uncomfortable positions.

“Well, you did have your stomach pumped. It can’t have been pleasant.”

“Ok, can you please not say that?” she said, lifting her eyes to meet his own. “I feel like I’ve just been experimented on because I had a tube put through me.” She grimaced before letting out a shaky laugh. “I’m not freaking Frankenstein.”

“I never said you were.” Fernando replied, grinning largely while trying to stiffen a laugh. He loved it when she poked fun. At least it got rid of the rough tension for a moment until everything turned back serious again. Fernando took a deep breath before sitting closer to Ava’s side. His dark eyes had turned deep and more meaningful. His brown loving orbs now contained a formal and solemn look. “So,” he muttered in a quiet tone, “you’re pregnant.” The way Fernando said it, wasn't as a question, he said it as a fact. He watched Ava come to terms with his words before nodding her head slowly and biting her lip.

“It wasn’t how I imagined you finding out.” she confessed. “I was going to tell you but-”

“But what? You forgot?” Fernando shot up from his chair, clearly unimpressed with her answer. His chest tightened as anger filled filled his stomach. He turned away to compose himself before washing away his anger by breathing slow.

“No!” Ava exclaimed. She could tell how fast she’d saddened him. “It's not like that at all. There were no appropriate times to tell you. Believe me, I wanted to but, I choked up because I was afraid you’d overreact and get mad with me.”

“No appropriate times? Ava, you had the chance to tell me when we took Nora and Leo out to the park, you had the opportunity and you didn't take it,” he fumed. “Do you know how much it sucks to learn that your boyfriend knew way before I did? Do you know how much it hurts to find out that Latoya not only knew you were pregnant, but she had to confirm who the father was right to my face? It's insulting Ava. She told me how far along you were and that was enough for me to work it out.”

Ava stayed silent, sitting against the pillows as tears formed in her eyes. A small lump in the back of her gut waited to be released. She could no longer hold it back anymore as she let it out. “I’m sorry,” she cried, trying to get off the bed to stand. “I was only afraid because I didn’t want to push you away. As for Miguel knowing, he didn’t know either until I told him last night before I fell unconscious. Latoya knew because she’s my best friend and she was there when I took the tests. But you know what? You’re not exactly being very supportive right now Fernando. Do you even care how much this is upsetting me? Not only am I carrying a baby for the first time, but I know nothing about being a mother. I didn’t wake up expecting this, the pregnancy just came unforeseen. I never knew I was pregnant until I took the tests so don’t try to make me feel like a victim here, I’m not.”

“I’m not saying you are a victim Ava, but you chose to hide this away from me, you chose not to tell me. I mean, were you ever on planning to let me know that I’m going to be a father again for a third time? or were you just going to do this on your own, possibly without no help and letting our baby grow up without a father?; it seems perfectly clear to me that you’ve made that choice already.”

“Can you put yourself in my position for one second? I haven’t made a choice, there is no decision okay. As for the help, if you’re legit informing I would ever do something so selfish like that to you, then you’re such an ass for thinking so. Infact, I’m perfectly capable of doing this by myself. I don’t need your help.” she snapped back angrily. Her reply took him off guard. “Oh, and by the way, if you thought for one minute that I wouldn’t tell you, well here’s my reason why I didn’t. You already have a family Fernando, and I don’t want to destroy that. I only held myself back for so long because I was afraid you wouldn’t want this, that you wouldn’t be ready for another child or better yet, you wouldn’t want one with me.” Ava finished leaving Fernando shocked.

“I-Is that what you honestly think?” He asked, stepping closer to Ava so their bodies faintly touched. The brunette wouldn’t dare look up. She knew she’d become weak if she looked straight into Fernando’s eyes. A part of her never stopped caring. The feelings she had for the Spaniard still lingered inside of her. They never went away. She liked Miguel but the two men were so different. Miguel’s love for her would never compare to what Fernando had for her. Ava sighed, giving in. She nodded to confirm that her thoughts were correct. From the moment she’d found out about her pregnancy, she wasn’t certain whether Fernando would want this baby or not. Ava heard him sigh which earnt her to look up at him. She saw the disappointment in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to put more pressure on you. You have a lot of things happening in your career this year and I couldn’t be a burden to ruin all that. You’re dealing with so much as it is and it’s not fair on me to do this to you-”

“Ava, I couldn’t care less,” he interrupted, silencing her again. The brunette wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re giving me another child. Any man would be grateful to have that, especially with you." he told her. Ava's lips quivered but she hid it with a shaky smile until Fernando took a deeper sigh. "I’m willing to be a part of this, but,” he paused, causing Ava to hold her breath. Ava silently waited for Fernando to speak up again. She thought he was going to accept it, but by the tone of his voice just before he paused made her think otherwise. “but, this is all still a shock to me Ava, what I need, I need time.”

His reply took Ava off guard. She wasn’t expecting Fernando to say that. Worry filled Ava’s gut as she glared back at the Spaniard now. “Time?” she repeated. “We don’t have time Fernando.” Ava seethed. She felt herself beginning to bubble with anger. Her body began to shake with fright. “In 4 or 5 months, I’m going to be giving birth. I know I said I could do this by myself and I aim to stick to that, I'll possibly regret it, but I don’t want this baby to grow up without a father. I want them to at least know who you are.”

“I know Ava; lo siento; I just can’t do this right now.” the Spaniard confessed, turning away from her. Ava’s eyes widened when she realised he was leaving. Crying out to him, Ava reached for his arm to pull him back.

“Wait!” She cried frantically, stopping him near the door. “you can’t leave, stay, por favor?” Fernando remained silent. He had his back to her but his head moved to the side so Ava could just see his face. His eyes were closed. “At least tell me how much time you need, you can’t leave me hanging like this.” she pleaded.

“Lo siento Ava," his voice trembled. "I have to go.” and he left, leaving her all by herself to stand in guilt. She felt the agony fill her gut. Ava had pushed him too far. She’d pushed him away when she didn’t mean to and now, she’d have to suffer the consequences.