Your Forever is all that I Need

~~Ana's POV~~

The crowd started to die down after the concert. I figured Kellin would wait until there's almost no people here to come out. He's so cute, and tiny. I laughed to myself. Then I saw girls coming towards me, a group of girls. They look pissed. Uh Oh.

"So you know Kellin?" on of them asked.

"Yeah, haha, why?" I asked kind of nervously. They all looked at eachother and laughed and more girls started coming out of everywhere. I began to feel intimidated. But they were all smiling which was creepier.

"Stay the fuck away from him he's mine." one of them said. Then they all started yelling things like,

"If i see you near him I'll kill you!"
"He's mine bitch!"

"Better watch your back bitch!"

"Touch him again and I'll cut your hands off"

Then they started to get closer.

"Fat bitch!"

"Ugly troll!"

"Whore!"

"You're the fattest bitch I know!"

"Ugly, obese whale!"

I started to cry, i felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. One girl aproached me grabbed my arm and said,

"Listen you ugly bitch, stay away from MY hubby, Kelly. Or I'll have to make you're life a living hell. Now , little beached whale, run along before I cut you."

I started crying more. I tried to get out of the circle. But they started pushing me, and the pushes turned into punches, then someone kicked me and I went down. Then I felt hands pick me up. I looked up. It was Kellin. I was still crying, and he held me close and started walking away saying something to those fan girls. He tried saying something to me but I started having an anxiety attack. I blacked out.

~~Later~~

I woke up next to Kellin in the hotel bed. I was still wearing my clothes from last night. I decided to get up and see the damage. I slowly and quietly got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. I remembere everythinlast night. From the crazy Fangirls jumping me, to having an anxiety attack in Kellins arms. I got in front of the full body mirror and took my clothes off so I was just in my bra and panties. I look at my stomach. I had a bruise, it was sore. I started to think about what they said to me. I guess I could lose a few pounds... I could start wearing more makeup too. Then I started feeling depressed. I saw my scars and started to cry. I decided to get in the shower. I went into the living room area to get my bag. I went back towards the shower and turned it on letting it heat up. I went through my bag and got out soap, deoderant, an oversized band tee, and then I saw my shaving razor. I started thinking back to when I used to cut. I had all different razors I used to collect them. I thought about how good it felt to cut, how afterwards I felt alive, happy. I felt like all my troubles were gone, and how it was easier to deal with problems on the outside, rather than the inside. And how cutting was able to let me do that. I grabbed it and got in the shower. I washed up and just stared at the shaving razor for a while. I grabbed it and started ripping the plastic off of the actually razor part. I finally got the tiny razor out. It was small but could still do damage. I hesitated, but I put the razor to my wrist. I pressed down and blood started trickling down my arm, i started to feel better, but guilty. I started to question whether or not I should go through with it. I slid the razor across my wrist blood started rolling down off the side of my arm and mixed with the water. I did another cut right below it. I started crying, and decided to one more cut on my wrist. I pressed the razor down harder than the other times, and slid it across. I started to feel better. Then I moved to my stomach. I was angry with myself for letting myself get so fat. I started cutting fast across my stomach. I stopped crying and stopped after four cuts. I just laid there and let the hot water sting my fresh cuts. I let the water clean them out and rinse away the blood. Then I heard footsteps.

"Ana? Are you in the shower?" Kellin yelled through the door.

No, he couldn't know what I just did.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second babe." I yelled back and heard him walk away from the door and plop on the bed. I quickly got out of the shower and turned the water off. I grabbed a towel off the rack and held it to my wrist to sop up the rest of the blood. and then I put a bigger towel around me to hide teh cuts on my stomach. I stepped out of the bathroom. Kellin was laying on his back on the bed. He saw me in my towel and his eyes got wide and his face got red. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Um, babe. My clean clothes are in your car. Do you have any shirts I could wear?" I asked.

He got up and got his bag and gave me an 'Of Mice and Men' shirt.

"You look beautiful." he whispered, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed and waited for him to go into the bathroom so I could change and get back under the covers. I couldn't find any pants of mine so I went through his bag and found basketball shorts. Hmmm... I didn't know he wore these and laughed to myself. I put them on and snuggled with myself under the covers waiting for Kellin to come back to bed. I looked at my promise ring and felt myself blushing.

"I will aways love you Kellin Quinn, forever." I said to myself.

~~Kellins POV~~

I whispered in her ear, "You look beautiful." And watched her blush. I smiled to myself and went to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and then I noticed something. There was a towel on the side of the tub and it was bloody. Then I saw a razor on one of the shelves in the shower and figured she cut herself while shaving her legs or something. I stepped in the shower and noticed more blood on the side of the tub. Then I looked at the razor and saw it was all mangled up and that the actual metal razors were gone. I looked on the sink counter and they were there and had fresh blood on them. I started to panick. I quickly showered and got into some clean clothes. I rushed out of the bathroom to find Ana back in bed sleeping. I layed down with her and thought of what i just saw in the bathroom. I wondered if she cut. Or if she self harmed or something. I decided I was going to ask her about it. Then she moved over and put her arm next to me. I lifted it up and looked at her wrist. I couldn't believe what I just saw. I started to tear up, and she started to wake up. She smiled at me and then he facial expression quickly changed.

"Kellin what's wrong?" She asked worried.

I just looked at her with tears in my eyes and hugged her. I held her close to me and kissed her head. She was so beautiful. She shouldn't mark her body. Then I felt tears dripping onto my chest. I lifted her up to look at her she was crying.

"You saw them didn't you?" She asked, she started crying more. She wrapped her armes around me. And then quickly backed up.

"Ana... I--" I started to say.

"NO!" She yelled. "Now that you've seen my cuts you think I'm ugly don't you." She started crying harder. I got up and walked to her side of the bed and hugged her. She just fell out of my arms and collapsed on the bed. She curled into a ball crying. I layed down with her just holding her.

~~Later~~

I woke up still holding Ana, she was awake and looking at me. I shot up and held her close. I told her, "Ana, I love you so much. The fact that you cut doesn't make me think you're ugly. You will NEVER be ugly to me. I love you for who you are. It only bothers me that you cut because I don't want to see you hurting yourself. You don't deserve that. I want you to be happy. Any scars you have are beautiful. I just never want you to resort to cutting. I love you Ana, and when I saw breaking down like that, it tore me up."

She started to tear up and then said, "Kell, I want to show you something." She took her shirt off and I could feel my cheeks starts ot get hot and I looked away. She grabbed my face.

"Look at my stomach." She said.

I looked down at her stomach and it had four cuts on it. There were alot of scars and I just looked at her. "Ana, you don't have to explain anything to me right now if you don't want to." I told her and she collapsed onto me. I held her tight for a while. She got up and explained.

"Two years ago, I was diagnosed with depression, I was dealing with therapy and medications. And then Shane's mother, my aunt died. My depression got worse and worse. So I started to cut. Cutting was my escape. It made me feel alive and it felt easier to deal with my problems. I stopped and got over my depression... but last night just got me thnking of how good i used to feel. It made the pain go numb."

I istened to her pour her heart out about the past two years and then she explained that she had more scars. She pulled my pants that she was wearing down and showed me her thighs.

"I was scared to tell you, I thought your opinion on me would change. That you would think I'm ugly, or that I was some crazy person or I dunno..." She explained.

"I would never think that, just promise me you will never cut again. You can always come to me with your problems and feelings,. You can talk to me about anything, Analisse." I told her.

She hugged me and gave me a kiss.

"I'm still tired, babe." She said. I got the blankets and covered her. Then I cuddled next to her and watched her fall asleep. She slept most of the day and I didn't mind being there right by her side. I would always be there for her. I love her. I'll stay right here holding her until she wakes up.

"I love you, Analisse." I whispered into her ear. And decided to go to sleep myself.