My Only One

Jaime's POV

Of course.

Of course Vic never answered me, and was too busy with Kellin to show up.

Of course the night I decided to waltz into my boyfriend's, or ex's, house and see him making out with his best friend was the night no one would be there for me, and I was selfish to think anyone would.

I didn't know how long I'd been laying in this field, or where this field even was. All I knew was that I'd tried to go home and cry it out like a broken-hearted thirteen-year-old girl would, and I'd tried to wait in my room for at least one of my friend's to pull through (which was limited, actually) and they didn't. And the minute I was thinking sleeping it off would help, my mother busted in saying Tony was on the line.

So I did what I always did. I ran.

And running from my problems and heartache lead me here, in a field, miles away from my house or anything familiar.

My arms burned, reminding me of how weak I was, and what I'd done. I was a bit beyond caring. There was no one there to be offended by my bad habits so why should I even care?

I ran my fingers delicately over the stinging incisions, humming at the number of marks there were. This was just like me, sad and alone, constantly reminded of the trials of life because I couldn't be strong for once. And I didn't even have the balls to scream at the person who'd brought this on. I didn't have it in me to yell at him for this, and to pour out all my frustration on the person who deserved it.

Because before this, I was making a bit of progress. With Tony, Alex, and Vic by my side, things were coming together, albeit rather slowly.

Truth was, I was so far from being okay, and I had bottled it up so long. I was tired, emotionally exhausted from everything that I just wanted to sleep, forever, as terrible as it sounded. If only I had the guts to actually do it, because I knew I didn't.

Sighing rather dramatically, I sat up a bit, admiring the large, outstretched plain that lay ahead of me. Even in the darkness you could make out trees surrounding it, and the plain itself was covered in tall grasses. It was rather beautiful only moments ago when the sun was setting, but now it was dark and gloomy, and maybe a bit ominous.

Not that it really mattered.

Honestly, at that moment, if some horrifying creature popped out of nowhere offering to kill me, I would've accepted with ease.

I didn't want to think, at all.

But of course, my brain was in overdrive, as per usual.

In a sad, useless attempt to stop the persistent thoughts, I stood up and walked aimlessly about, huddling close to myself for some sort of warmth. "Fuck living." I muttered to myself, kicking idly at a rock I'd come into contact with, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket.

Groaning, I pulled it out and viewed who sent it. Tony. At first I wasn't going to open it, but I was bored and curious.

It simply read:

Fuck, Jaime, please. Please stop ignoring me.

Out of boredom, I simply scrolled through the rest.

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

I hate myself. I'm sorry.

I'm at your house. You're not here? Where are you?

Are you with Vic?

I tried to refrain from breaking my phone.

Please talk to me. I'm worried sick and so are your parents.

I don't even know why I fucking bother. Where are you at? If you're at a party or some shit I swear to God

Please tell me you're fucking alive.

Jaaaiiiimmeeeee. Answer me for shit's sake I need to know you're okay.

Please. I love you.

I slammed my eyes shut and tucked away my phone, willing away tears. He didn't. I wasn't sure anyone did, and that's what got me into this mess.