Shallow Graves For Shallow Hearts

Sooner or later it was Monday morning and you were in the car with Matt driving to school. For some reason it was hard to breathe in the small atmosphere of the vehicle. He seemed to be oblivious to your struggle for oxygen, lost in thought while watching the little scenery fly by as you drove.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened while you thought of what it would be like to be public with your relationship. What would everyone say? As far as they knew on Friday you and he still weren’t speaking and now you’re showing up two days later swapping spit. The questions that would rise weren’t exactly what you wanted to deal with. The relationship itself was something you were still trying get used to and everyone speculating about it wasn’t going to help.

And it seemed like things weren’t as normal with him as you had originally thought. Yes, you were back on that level of comfortableness with him and you still bickered and teased each other like always, but you were still holding back a lot. You didn’t know what you were holding back but it was like a brick wall, and this in return made him hold back. You could tell by the strange look in his eye when you caught him staring at you sometimes. The same strange look he has in his eyes right now as you study him while at a stop light.

The biggest problem you had was you didn’t know what to say when he said he loved you. And every time he said it, it made you feel weird because what are you supposed to say? Thank you? You couldn’t force yourself to say it back. That brick wall encased those three words inside of you and wouldn’t let them out. You weren’t even sure you would mean it if you said it back and that was the worst part. You weren’t on the same level of feelings as him.

How long you could go like that? Him telling you he loves you while you just nod and kiss him so you don’t have to say it back. Yeah he was be patient now, tip toeing around it and waiting for you to admit it, but what if he got tired of waiting and sick of your bullshit and left again? Or worse, what if he stopped loving you? The only thing worse than this situation was the empty feeling in your chest every time you thought of that possibility and it was a huge possibility.

“Are you okay?” His voice cuts through your thoughts as you pull into the school parking lot.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?” You answer, not looking at him. You couldn’t handle that look in his eyes right now.

“Y’know if you’re uncomfortable about making our relationship public, we don’t have to do it right away.” He says quietly.

“No, no, it’s not that. I want to make it public.” You smile widely and pull him into a reassuring kiss while stuffing everything down. This was way too much to think about on a Monday morning.

He pulls away a few seconds later and the breathtaking smile he gives you was definitely worth all this. You get out of the car, dragging you bag behind you as he takes your hand and you head towards the school.

The second you were in the building every eye was on you with questioning looks.

“I hope you know if Katie comes within a ten foot radius of us I’m decking her in the face.” You mumble to him as you walk towards your locker, blatantly ignoring everyone whispering around you.

“I won’t be stopping you.” He grins, opening the locker and drops his binders to the bottom. Somehow the nice, organized system you had going had fallen apart as papers and books littered the small space.

“What the fuck?” Someone says from behind you and you turn to see Katie and her skanks standing behind you and wow does Katie look pissed.

“Can I help you?” You ask.

“What are you doing with my boyfriend?” She demands and you can’t help but to laugh.

“Your boyfriend, hmm? Newsflash skankbag, he dumped your ass last week.”

“No bitch, we were taking a break.”

“Yeah a permanent break.” You retort. “Stop wasting oxygen and leave.”

Before she could say anything else you turn away from her hoping she’d get the hint to actually leave but instead you hear her say, “At least he actually liked me. I bet he just feels sorry for her.”

It wasn’t even the comment that set you off it was the fact that you had had it with her and her self-proclaimed superiority. You swing back around and consider just backhanding her but instead close your hand and punch her in the cheek before she even had a chance to blink.

The hit catches her off guard and sends her flying into one of her friends while everyone watching laughs. You ignore the pain in your hand as she gets up and glares at you.

“Stay the fuck away from me and I swear to God if you ever speak another word to Matt I won’t stop at just one hit. Got it?” You threaten before slamming your locker shut and following Matt down the hall and towards your class.

“Wow you weren’t kidding when you said you were going to hit her.” He chuckles taking your now bruised hand in his and gently running his fingers over your knuckles.

“I didn’t actually expect to do it but she deserved it.” You shrug, surprised at yourself for doing it too. “Hopefully now she’ll take a hint and leave us alone.”

“Good,” He nods and you find yourself standing outside of the classroom you were supposed to be in right now. He leans down and catches you in a knee buckling goodbye kiss that you never wanted to end. You’d much rather spend the period in his arms kissing like this. He finally pulls away and you sigh quietly.

“I’ll see you in math.” He smiles and kisses your cheek before turning and disappearing around the corner.