Touch

For the next month and half jack helped me get more comfortable being close to him whether it was holding hands sitting next to each other while he leaned on my side, and even giving good-bye hugs which still made me feel a little sick but I couldn't handle it with jack.

coming in contact with other people was still a problem I still held my breath in the hallways and wanted to jump out of my skin when people patted my back.

It was only one step at a time though and I think there will always be a part of me that feels sick to her stomach when people bump into me, but as long as I made progress it made jack happy and just seeing that smile on his face when he noticed I stopped cringing and inching away from him when to close or coming into contact was so wonderful. And just seeing jack happy made me want to try harder. I just wanted someone to be proud of me.

"Hey margaret, I er was wondering if you wanted to go on a date?" Jack's voice was nervous and shake-y when he asked me in his living room.

I stifled a gasp my eyes widening after realizing what he said. A date. As in a date with me. I couldn't breath, dates involved holding hands, putting arms around shoulders being attached to the hip. Dates involved kissing and making out. Oh my god. I couldn't do this. Jack was a catch and I won't lie I've always had a crush on him but I figured I never had a chance with him.

"Margaret can you please breath, it's okay." Jack sighed putting a hand on my shoulder, out of reflex I jumped at the touch of his shoulder. "Sorry for asking then... "

"Sorry, just all the thoughts in my head are freaking me out jack. I couldn't stop thinking about all the human contact that dates involved." My breath was getting ragged I was having a slight anxiety attack.

"Were not going to do anything out of you're comfort zone Margaret, I understand I just you know wanted to get ice cream and see a movie."

"S-s-s-s- Sorry, for freaking out on you. uh, um, uh, sure." I stuttered out, oh god my stutter was coming back, oh god.

"Okay I'll pick you up at 6 tomorrow?" I could tell by his smile jack was ecstatic, truthfully I was too, I was just trying to get my breathing back to normal.

"Yeah sure."

And just like jack said he was at my door exactly six o'clock today. I'd thrown on my favourite light washed skinny jeans, a white v-neck and my black weather jacket for the cold fall winds. I'd straighten my hair and put some mascara and eye liner the same I did everyday.

Jack stood tall at my door wearing black skinny jeans and a white blink 182 hoodie his hair was teased up like normal.

"Hey." Jack smiled taking my hand in his as we stepped out into the brisk fall air, crisp leaves crunched under our feet as we walked to jack's car.
"So... Ice cream?" Jack questioned me enthusiastically.
"Of course." I laughed.

***

We'd gone to dairy queen and both got hot fudge ice cream sundae's And then went to the movie theatre to watch the avengers. The date has gone pretty well so far. Our human contact was minimal we held hands quite alot and jack leaned his head on my should during the movie. It was really a lovely date. We were currently sitting on the hood of jack's car eating fries we got from mcdonals it was 10 o'clock in the evening the sun had set making it noticeably colder, I was currently wearing jack's blink 182 hoodie. where he relieved he was also wearing a blink 182 shirt only jack would wear the same's band merch on more of their band merch. But holy shit right now I felt like we we're in some romantic love movie. I felt so young and so much like one of those teenager you saw on tv. It was a electrify feeling.

"Hey jack?"

"Mhmphh." Jack responded, he might've been saying something in respond but with all the fries he'd stuffed in his mouth momentarily before it was unclear on what he was saying.

"Jack don't talk with your mouth full that's disgusting." I scolded even though we weren't at a table, eating etiquette and table manners still applied "But I er was wondering why you asked me on a date?"

"Well I grown to really like you since you let me cheat off you in ms.snow's class." Jack laughed. "And since we started hanging out I've realized how lovely you on and how much I like being with you and I guess my liking kinda turned into something more than friendship along the way."

"Oh ah cool thanks." I smiled. "So what do you plan to do this christmas break?"

"I don't probably hang out with the guys book some shows, get drunk, watch movies. What about you marg?"

"Snowboard, watch christmas movies as well, eat too much chocolate, and probably not get drunk." I laughed drinking wasn't my forte It was gross tasting and it usually happened around a lot of people which made me uncomfortable.

"You know margaret we should get drunk together and watch classic Christmas movies." Jack smirked.

"I'm not sure if that would be such a good Idea, I heard your one of unruly drunks."

" I am not! I'm a gentleman drunk."

"Sure you are jack." My sentence dripping with sarcasm. Jack just responded with a childish "Hmph."

Jack scoutched up closer to me "I'm cold." Jack used as he exscue I shivered not from the cold but some the sudden contact making my skin crawl.

"Do you want you sweater back?"

"No you keep it on, you're a lot smaller than me so you're more expectable to the cold." jack said in a matter of fact tone.

"oh okay jack." I laughed at him "Jack? c-c-can we hold hands." I asked meekly , right now i kinda felt lonely with out holding his hand, it was weird that.

"Of course." Jack murmed into my should taking my hand. "I really want to kiss you right now." jack said looking up at me

"I uh I don't know." So many thoughts were racing through my head kissing one of the most intimate things, something i never done, i've seen people kiss and something it just looks revolting.

"Margaret it wont kill you."

"I know," I scoffed

"Then why not? do you not like me that way?"

"Of- of - of course i like you that way, but it just, i'm just , ugh, I'm scared."

"Scared of what? Everything's fine."

"I -know i know."

"Margaret just breath okay."

"I know sorry!" okay breath margaret take a breath in then out, oh my god jack could hearing me breathing oh my god, breath quiter margaret I scolded my self in my head In annnd out.

I opened my eyes and jack was watching me intently and before I could register it jack's lips were on mine movely softly for a few seconds and pulling away

"See everything's fine." Jack said squeezing my hand. And all I could do was nod, yeah everything was fine. We kissed and I didn't even flinch away, my skin didn't crawl or anything. I actually felt exhilarated

"Can we do that again." I said breathlessly

"Of course." Jack smirked.