For You

I haven’t talk to anyone since the morning after I visited John. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy in that bus, like there are secrets hiding in the floorboards of the bus. I fumble with the edges of my notebook as Hayden sits across from me on the small booth table typing away on his computer. A plate of cut up apples and a scoop of peanut butter sit next to me, but I don’t feel like eating.

“H-Hayden?” I whisper looking up to him. He tears his eyes away from the screen before looking to me.

“What’s wrong?” he asks giving me his undivided attention.

“Do y-you think I d-did something wrong?” I ask still tearing at the edges of my notebook. “Regarding Jaime and John?”

Hayden sighs and closes his laptop, “I saw it Chris.” He whispers softly. “You really lead him on. Even if you didn’t see it.”

“How.”

“Constantly wanting to be with him, waiting for him back stage when he was performing, you were so clingy.”

“I t-thought w-were were friends.” I mumble staring down my plate of food. I grab an apple slice and twisting it in the peanut butter.

Hayden doesn’t respond to me, instead he sighs loudly and stands up taking his laptop and moving to the back of the bus. “Eat those apples Chris.” He calls back.

I take the apple I’m playing with and shove it into my mouth before slipping out the booth. I grab my notebook and head out my bus deciding to take a walk to clear my mind. I walk along the buses hoping that maybe, I just might run into John.

“Chris!”

I turn around and come face to face with Jaime. I bite my lip but give him a small smile none the less. “Hi.” I mumble.

“I was hoping I run into you.” He says as I continue my walk.

“Is there a reason?” I ask as I pick at my sleeves.

“Yeah, about the other night I don’t regretting having sex with you.” The fact that he calls it sex rather than fucking makes this whole situation much worse. “I actually might want to pursue a relationship with you.” He adds looking over at me nervously.

“What?” I question in complete shock.

“Be my boyfriend.” He whispers taking my hand in his.

“I-I hardly know y-you.” I mumbled. “And w-what about Tony?” I ask the image of him from that night appearing in my mind. The words he whispered to me.

“Tony, he’s nothing to me. Not like how you mean to me.” He says brushing his fingers across my cheek. I shake my head not wanting this, not at all. I open my mouth to speak but Jaime leans down and kisses me softly, “Just say yes Chris.” He whispers against my lips.

So I nod and agree.

I agree to hurt Tony and John even more than I have already.