For You

I stand near the stage watching as The Maine finishes their set. John was singing so passionately throughout the concert I could feel his emotion, it made me feel funny in my stomach.

Not a hallow feeling like I'm use to.

John thanks his fans, tells them he loves each one before running off stage and bumping into me. I fall to the floor with a soft thump, I groan lightly and rub my ass that's now sore before looking up to John. "Fuck, I didn't see you there." John laughs as he helps me to my feet. "You ok?"

I nod and tug at my hair before turning to walk away feeling embarrassed. I must look like a stalker watching him perform.

"Hey Chris wait up!" John calls. I stop and turn to him still tugging at my hair. "Want to hang out, ya know just chill out." he says rubbing up and down his arm.

I chew on my bottom lip my eyes scanning the back stage. My eyes fall on Hayden who's smirking at John and I, nodding his head approvingly like he's giving me permission to hang out with John. "No I'm fine." I mumble turning to walk away.

I don't like this, this friendship John's being forced into because of Hayden. I make my way to Hayden with a sudden anger bubbling inside me, "Why do you feel like you need to force people to be my friend?" I ask knowing I'm being to loud and drawing people in.

"Chris it's not like that." Hayden says softly. "I just, sometimes, I feel like you need someone, someone to help you because we can't." he whispers softly, soft enough for only me to hear.

I glare at him, because that's all I can do. "Fuck you." I hiss and storm past him to the bus. Tears are falling from my eyes and I know Hayden only means well, but it bothers me. It bothers me because he's right, I need someone to save me.

But truth is I don't want someone to help me, I'm fine the way I am.

I find myself in the small bathroom in the bus, a lighter in hand as I watch the flame flicker. Thoughts were racing through my mind, should I? Should I not?

"Chris." John's voice calls from the opposite side of the door.

I jump slightly causing the lighter to fall. I sigh and pick it up before opening the bathroom door. John's looking down at me before he steps into the bathroom and closes the door. He sits down next to me and watches as I continue to play with the lighter, tempted to burn my skin. "Hayden means well." John finally says. I look up to him, noticing how his eyes bore into mine. I blink a few times and look away. "You look conflicted." John adds. I could feel his stare burning holes into me, it's making me uncomfortable.

"I'm fine." I mumble still flicking the lighter.

"No you're not, I can tell." John says scooting closer to me so our knees brush. I move away. "How about we got out side and join the guys." John suggests.

"I rather stay in here." I say quietly.

"So your telling me you'd rather stay in a cooped up bus rather than be outside in the fresh open air?" John asks and I could sense he was joking.

I let a small smile slip before looking over to him, "Fine I guess I could go outside." I sigh like I really didn't want to, but John smiles widely and stands up reaching for my arm and dragging me out the bus.

"Everyone I got Chris out the bus!" John calls as we step out into the cool air. Everyone cheers which makes me blush. My eyes fall on Hayden who's smiles kindly at me. I sigh softly and pull away from John's grasp and make my way to Hayden.

"Sorry." I mumble rubbing my arm. "I didn't mean to get mad at you, I see where you're coming from." I add not wanting to look up to him, instead I keep my gaze on the ground.

"Chris it's fine." Hayden says kindly. I look up to him and smile before throwing my arms around him in a hug nuzzling my face in his shoulder. I could feel the rumble from Hayden's laugh as he pats my back. "Go enjoy yourself for once." he says pulling me away and lightly pushing me toward John's direction.

I blush and nod before making my way to John.