For You

I sit on the bus's little table staring at the plate of fruit on front of me. Hayden went food shopping right after my release from the hospital. He thinks it's his duty to feed me every fucking meal, every fucking day.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Hayden asks sitting across from me with his own plate of food.

"Not hungry." I mumble crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him.

"Come one Chris," he sighs. "At least eat some of it." he begs.

I sigh and reach for a green grape and pop it into my mouth. I force myself to chew and swallow it. "There I ate." I say getting out the small booth and making my way to my bunk.

I can hear Hayden calling for me, telling me to come back and eat more. That one grape doesn't count as eating.

I relax on my bunk pulling open the curtain to the window so I can see the outside world. I start tracing patterns along the window as I listen to Hayden arguing with Taylor and my eating habits.

They shouldn't worry about me this much.

"Taylor he's not eating, don't you understand how bad this is? Hayden whispers trying to keep his voice quiet and calm so I can't hear.

But I do anyway.

"Yeah I know it's dangerous but we can't strap him down and force feed him." Taylor mumbles, almost like he doesn't really care.

Which hurts.

I zone out not wanting to hear them argue about caring and not caring. I find myself thinking of John, we didn't say much when I was released from the hospital, in fact we didn't talk at all.

I reach for my phone lying on my bunk and turn it on deciding to send John a quick text. I wait for my phone to turn on and once it does there's already a text message from John waiting for me.

don't forget to eat.

I roll my eyes and throw my phone aside.

Well there goes that idea.

I look out the window again and notice we're at the venue. I smile lightly and hurry out the bus rushing past Hayden who's trying to shove food in my mouth. I step out into the cool air, I think we're in San Fransisco.

I instantly pull out a cigarette a light it up. I stare around the venue and decide to take a little walk to ease my nerves.

As I'm walking along these two boys approach me, one of them has a bunch of tattoos and plug while the other has really spiky hair. "Hey aren't you Chirstofer Drew?" The spiky hair one asks.

I nod softly and stare at them oddly.

The spiky hair guy grins, "I've been dying to check out your set." he tells me. "I'm Jaime, from Pierce the Veil and this is Tony." he says gesturing to the quiet tatted boy next to him.

"Chris." I mumble back finishing my cig. "I've heard of you guys as well." I say.

That's a lie, I've never even heard of these guys.

"I might come see your set later." he says giving me a toothy grin before dragging his quiet friend along.

Once their gone I continue on with my walk finding myself at the Maine's bus. I frown and stare at it for a while deciding to turn back and head to my bus.

"Chris."

I stop dead in my track and curse under my breath before turning back around. John is standing there only wearing a pair of gym shorts. He smiles at me, genuinely smiles at me.

"Come in we were just about to eat."

I take a deep breath and shake my head making sure to keep a smile, "I'm fine I just ate." If a grape even counts.

"Bullshit, Hayden texted me and told me you left before even eating. He said you might come here." John says stepping off the bus and standing in front of me.

I take a step back.

"I did ate, he's lying." I protest, determined to make everyone believe me.

"What did you eat?"

"Like...a grape." I mumble rubbing at my sleeve covered arms. "or more." I add under my breath.

"A grape or more." John repeats. "I think you can eat more, at least a pop tart."

"That's to sugary, sugar turns to fat." I state rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Then a granola bar or a banana, I don't know Chris just eat something." John says getting frustrated.

Suddenly guilt washes through me.

All's trying to do is make sure I'm healthy and happy.

"I'm sorry." I mumble keeping my gaze on the ground.

I feel John's hand on my cheek and he gently pulls my face up. I look up to him and he wipes my cheeks.

That's when I notice I'm crying.

"Don't have to apologize." he whispers smiling down at me as he continues to wipe away the tears that continue to fall.

"C-can we take a walk." I ask.

"Will you eat something?"

I nod and John smiles taking my hand in his as he leads me into his bus. I step into the cramped bus and take a seat on a couch watching as John rummages through some cabinets. He pulls out a pop tart and hands it to me giving me a apologetic smile, "Sorry we don't have an granola, I guess we finished it." he says.

"It's fine." I shrug playing with the edge of the packet.

"Let me go get some shoes and a shirt and we can walk around." John says smiling again before disappearing into the bunk area.

I sigh loudly and continue to pick at the wrapping. I stare at the shiny metallic wrapping and slowly open it breaking off a piece of the sugar treat.

It takes John five minutes to get ready.

And that's how long it takes me to eat the little piece of pop tart.

"Ready?" John asks as he opens the bus door for me.

We both step out into the cold air, it's seems as though it got colder. I shiver as a gust of wind blows through causing me to shudder.

"You ok?"

"We're are we?" I ask. It's summer and most the places we've been at we're burning hot and now suddenly it's freezing cold.

"San Fransisco, it's always colder here we're by the water." John says as we begin to walk.

Throughout our walk I pick at my pop tart. John tells me meaningless things but it still feels nice to hear him talking.

And his smiles,

It makes me smile.