For You
chapter eight
I stand in front of The Maine’s bus staring at the small black door. Guilt was racing through me, just remembering the look on John’s face that night. I can’t seem to get that look out of my mind, it’s like it’s engraved in my memories. I knock softly on the door before stuffing my hands in my pockets. After waiting for a few minutes the door opens and Garrett is staring down at me, hate apparent in his eyes. “What do you want?” he hisses crossing his arms over his chest.
“I-I want to t-talk to John.” I mumble feeling so pathetic suddenly.
It’s probably the way Garrett is looking down at me, like I’m lower than the dirt he walks on.
“I don’t think that’s best.” Garrett says.
“I need to talk to him.” I plead.
“No.”
“You can’t decide for him.” I grumble narrowing my eyes at him.
“He doesn’t want to see you right now anyway, he told me last night.”
“Fuck him, it’s not like we’re dating so it shouldn’t matter if I’m fucking Jaime.” I scream growing suddenly angry.
“Yeah but it still hurt him, it hurt him cause he likes you and he’s afraid to let down his walls because he’s afraid to get hurt.” Garrett says quietly stepping off the bus and closing the door behind him. “John’s been hurt, it’s why he doesn’t trust people or let himself fall for anyone. He let himself fall for you and he felt betrayed.”
“But we’re not dating.” I repeat stressing out my words to get my point across.
“It doesn’t matter, he thought you liked him.”
I frown and realize that yeah, I have been leading him on and it makes me feel even worse. “So I can’t talk to him?” I ask quietly looking up to him.
“I guess you can try.” Garrett sighs and opens the bus door allowing me in. I thank his softly before walking to the bunk area and searching for John’s bunk, and in fact it’s the easiest to find. I can hear John’s sniffing. I take a deep breath, “John.” I call softly.
“Fuck off Chris.” He mumbles his voice a bit shaky.
“Please talk to me.” I beg scratching at my covered arms waiting for him to let me in. But he doesn’t. “John please.” I plead feeling my throat close and the tears build up.
“Go away.” He sighs and I can tell he’s holding back, he doesn’t want to scream at me.
“J-John.” I whimper one last time.
Suddenly the curtain pulls back and John’s face is suddenly there, glaring at me with all that’s worth. His hands are a shaking and I can’t tell if it’s from anger or from fear. “Leave now.” He whispers in a cold, back chilling voice.
I stare into his eyes noticing how cold and dead they look. I nod softly and turn away, passing Garrett sitting on couch and it’s now that I notice the small bruise forming on his cheek. He bites his lip and looks away turning to his notebook in his hand.
It feels like they're hiding something from me.
“I-I want to t-talk to John.” I mumble feeling so pathetic suddenly.
It’s probably the way Garrett is looking down at me, like I’m lower than the dirt he walks on.
“I don’t think that’s best.” Garrett says.
“I need to talk to him.” I plead.
“No.”
“You can’t decide for him.” I grumble narrowing my eyes at him.
“He doesn’t want to see you right now anyway, he told me last night.”
“Fuck him, it’s not like we’re dating so it shouldn’t matter if I’m fucking Jaime.” I scream growing suddenly angry.
“Yeah but it still hurt him, it hurt him cause he likes you and he’s afraid to let down his walls because he’s afraid to get hurt.” Garrett says quietly stepping off the bus and closing the door behind him. “John’s been hurt, it’s why he doesn’t trust people or let himself fall for anyone. He let himself fall for you and he felt betrayed.”
“But we’re not dating.” I repeat stressing out my words to get my point across.
“It doesn’t matter, he thought you liked him.”
I frown and realize that yeah, I have been leading him on and it makes me feel even worse. “So I can’t talk to him?” I ask quietly looking up to him.
“I guess you can try.” Garrett sighs and opens the bus door allowing me in. I thank his softly before walking to the bunk area and searching for John’s bunk, and in fact it’s the easiest to find. I can hear John’s sniffing. I take a deep breath, “John.” I call softly.
“Fuck off Chris.” He mumbles his voice a bit shaky.
“Please talk to me.” I beg scratching at my covered arms waiting for him to let me in. But he doesn’t. “John please.” I plead feeling my throat close and the tears build up.
“Go away.” He sighs and I can tell he’s holding back, he doesn’t want to scream at me.
“J-John.” I whimper one last time.
Suddenly the curtain pulls back and John’s face is suddenly there, glaring at me with all that’s worth. His hands are a shaking and I can’t tell if it’s from anger or from fear. “Leave now.” He whispers in a cold, back chilling voice.
I stare into his eyes noticing how cold and dead they look. I nod softly and turn away, passing Garrett sitting on couch and it’s now that I notice the small bruise forming on his cheek. He bites his lip and looks away turning to his notebook in his hand.
It feels like they're hiding something from me.