Will We Be Always

So today was the day.

After months and months of planning and stressing, today was my wedding day. The day I gave myself over to josh and hopefully the first day of the rest of our lives together. It had been a busy time since josh proposed to me at corals wedding and today was the day it was all coming together.

When reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower I came across the line Times Change, Friends Leave and Life Doesn’t Stop For Anybody. I can honestly say looking at my life right now that line has never felt more real to me.

Coral was now Coral Howard and lived 7 doors down from me with her new hubby Sonnie and their 14 month old son Alfie. I’m not just saying this cause I’m his auntie but I swear he is the cutest baby I have ever seen. He has Sonnies’ eyes but coral’s hair colouring and the chubbiest cheeks on the planet.

Then it was Zahra’s turn to leave. She and Oakley decided to move further into London so work would be easier for him to get to, and it was only a 10 minute train ride to work for her. They moved whilst Sonnie and Coral were on their honeymoon.

So that left me on my lonesome in a three bedroom house. It took about a week for coral and Sonnie once they got back to fully move out before josh moved back in.

It was weird, josh and I living together again. Not so much the fact of us being together, it was more down to the fact that there was no one else around. Not that I was complaining though, it made things easier for us to do what we wanted…

But right now our house was full to the brim. Josh wasn’t here, he was at Dan’s, but every single female person I knew was outside of the room I was in, running about trying to sort things.

There was a gentle tap on the door and coral’s voice came through the wood.

“You alright in there?” she called, but instead of answering I went over and opened the door. Her eyes widened at the sight of me and filled up at the same time. “My baby sisters all grown up” she smiled and pulled me into her before taking my hand and leading me into the lounge.

The whole room gasped lightly and spoke at once to tell me how lovely I looked. I could feel my face flush and waved them all off before my mum came over to me with my bouquet.

“Let’s go get you married then” she said and everyone cheered before we made our way to the cars outside.

It was a bit of a task to get into the car since my dress was so big, but as soon as I saw the dress in the shop I knew it had to have it. It was like the one I had been dreaming about since I was little and I didn’t care how much it was, I just needed to have it.

I decided not to have a maid of honour because I couldn’t decide who I wanted it to be. No one cared though and they were all as helpful as they could be.

My bridesmaids, Coral, Charlie, Zahra and liana, were all dressed in violet dresses. Original, I know. And they were all in the car with me on the way to the place where we were getting married. Baby Alfie was also with us, making noises as if trying to tell us something and he looked stupidly adorable in his little suit.

Josh and I had opted for a hotel too, but a different one to coral’s. It wasn’t too far and once we were there I noticed the car he’d come in sitting outside.

Everyone filed out and we went up to the door and were led to the room where josh and I would be getting married in. Everyone was there and it looked like they were good to go.

“This is it then” I whispered and my dad squeezed my hand.

“I just want to let you know, I’m so proud of you kid” my dad whispered in my ear and I kissed his cheek quickly before we heard the music start and we began walking into the room.

I’ve never been one for attention, so the fact that everyone’s eyes were on me made me squirm but technically this was my day so I was just going to have to get used to it for one day.

I looked at josh the whole way up the aisle and I could see he was trying to suppress a smile which meant he was pressing his lips together and his nostrils flared which I found hilarious for some reason. Must have just been my nerves.

So I smiled to which he smiled back and before I knew it I’d stopped walking and my dan was passing me over to josh. It felt weird, like we were back in the old days where the dad owned the daughter and I felt like I was being sold off.

“You look beautiful” josh whispered to be and when I looked up at him he winked before we both turned to face who woman who would be marrying us. She told us her name was Karin and the girl sitting down to the right of her was the legal person, Beth.

I was too nervous to really listen to what she was saying and spent most of the ceremony trying to calm my breathing and trying to stop my hands from shaking.

I mean this was massive right? I, the little shy thing in school was marrying josh franceschi, the school’s heart throb. I mean they make movies about this shit right? This kinda stuff doesn’t actually happen.

But it was. It was happening right at this very second.

“Perfect, now violet, do you take josh to be your lawful wedded husband?” Karin asked me.

Damn we’d got to that point already?

I looked up at josh next to me and he smiled ever so slightly which in turn cause my heart just to melt a little bit.

“I do”

Once the words left my lips josh smiled got wider, as did Karin’s. Relief I guess for both of them.

“And josh, do you take violet yo be your lawful wedded wife?”

“I do” he said clearly, without any hesitation.

“Can I have the rings please?” Karin asked the best man, Cary, who was one of josh’s oldest friends and who we both went to school with.

We did the whole repeat after me be shabang and put the rings on each other fingers. Thankfully none of us fluffed up our lines. There was only one thing left to do now to make it official.

“You may now kiss the bride” Karin said with a huge smile.

Josh took his hands out of my own and placed them on either side of my face before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. I could hear everyone clapping and cheering in the background and this massive bubble of pure happiness built up inside of me.

We eventually pulled away and josh took my hand again before we made out way back now the aisle. Everyone was trying to talk to me all at once so I just nodded at people and smiled.

As I’ve said a million times before, I am not a people person. And yeah I know the people here are my family, old and new, but I just feel like I never have anything to say to anyone, so I kept josh with me at all times.

It was the dinner next and the speeches. I think I learnt more about the parts of josh’s old life than I ever thought I would thanks to Cary. His speech was brilliant and totally embarrassing for josh which just made it perfect. Cary was also the only person josh told about liking me way back when we were 14 so he told all these stories of how Josh would talk about me all the time to him.

Josh just looked at the table in embarrassment, but I took his hand and winked, telling him everything would be fine, and he smiled before kissing my cheek.

We went into an awkward stage when dinner was done, but the band were still setting up. Josh and I got up to stretch our legs and Alfie ran right over to us. I could see that Coral went to try and stop him, but he was too quick for her.

Josh scooped him up right away and they began having their own little conversation which was pretty much josh asking him things in that weird baby voice you cant help but put on when talking to a child, and Alfie making approving noises in return.

Looking at the both of them made me get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sure I’d been having weird feeling’s all day but this one was different.

Just looking at the pair of them, seeing how josh interacted with a kid that wasn’t his own make me feel all sort of gooey inside. All I knew is that one day I wanted him to be holding our child and making cute but pointless conversation with it.

I walked over to them both and he smiled before handing Alfie over to me. I saw a flash go off from in front of me and when I looked up coral was there with her camera.

“You two are perfection” she smiled before taking Alfie off me and returning to her seat.

“So I guess I get to find out our song then yeah?” josh asked whilst taking my hand.

Josh had left me the tasking of finding our song to have our first dance too. I was gonna pick crash but then figured it would be weird cause josh would be singing it so I picked a different song. It was still just as weird, like it wasn’t a conventional ‘love song’ but then I figured, since when were josh and I conventional? It was by a band josh loved so I was hoping he would be happy with it.

The DJ came up to josh and said something in his ear before he looked at me.

“Care to dance Mrs. Franceschi?” he said with a sly smile. “Violet franceschi, got kind of a ring to it” he said kissing my nose before pulling me into the center of the floor.

I saw everyone get up to come and watch and then the music started to play.

“ Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart”

I know it was probably one of the weirdest choices, but I thought as if it was almost written for josh and i. josh clearly agreed because he kissed my forehead and whispered “Thank you” to me before resting his head on mine.

I looked out to the sea of people and tried to contain my jaw breaking smile. I swear I’d never been happier and things could have never been more perfect. Not just for me though, everyone looked so content.

I saw Georgina standing there with Chris behind her, his lips to her cheek. Matt and holly were next to them, their fingers entwined and her head was on his shoulder. Then their was max with that girl Libby I’d met at the charity gig, and I could of sworn they were holding hands. Then Dan was there with Libby’s friend who had him corned that one time. He had his arms around her shoulders and she was nestled into his side. Then Tom was there with Melenie. That made me smile more than anything.

I saw Coral, Sonnie and Alfie huddled together like the ball of perfection they were, and Zahra and Oakley next to them in their own little world. Liana and Freddy were there also and then Charlie and Ali on the end.

Elissa was there with her guy who was next to Mr. and Mrs. Franceschi who looked on with such pride in their faces. My parents who were next to them looked on with mirrored expressions.

I stood up straight and looked josh dead in the eye. He rested his forehead on mine and pulled me into him tighter if that were possible.

“I love you Mrs. Franceschi” he whispered,

I didn’t need to answer him. He knew I felt the same. I just reached up and pressed my lips to his, telling him all he needed to know.