Live As If We Died

*READ AUTHORS NOTE BEFORE READING THE CHAPTER*

The next morning I woke up with one hell of a headache; I wasn't even sure how to move in a way that my body would not hurt. Last night was such a blur to me and it suddenly became apparent that it was the same for everyone else that was passed out on the floor around me. I grunted, trying to sit up, but the sunlight was too unbearable. The one thing I do remember was that bitch Katy and Mike being an ass. After that, Austin was the only one to comfort me due to me not wanting to deal with Mike any longer. Austin was still passed out on the couch with me when I could actually look at the room without my head spinning. He looked like he was there to guard off Public Enemy No. 1 and keep me away from trouble. I don't know if it worked, but it must have because Mike was nowhere to be found… Neither was Katy. For that matter alone, was thankful.

Some of the boys tossed and turned while small, incoherent noises escaped their mouths. The others I had to look at for a long time to make sure that they weren't dead. Across the room and next to Brooks I found my opened pack of cigarettes, but the true struggle was trying to figure out how to get there without tripping and falling onto someone. Still, I tried my damn hardest to get there. "Jules?" A voice came from the other room, scaring the living shit out of me. Before turning around to greet him, I lit up my cigarette. When I spotted him, I saw that Jaime looked almost as bad as the rest of us. I shushed him until I got into the kitchen.

"You okay, Himes?" I leaned up against the counter to support my body so I didn't tumble over.

"Yeah," he yawned, "but I'm more concerned about how you're doing today." His entire face looked sympathetic and his eyes almost looked like they were ready to rip Mike a new one. "I told you he was trouble, Jules." His voice was almost a whisper at this point. I looked down at my cigarette and tapped on the filter, just watching the ashes fall off into the dirty ashtray. I didn't know if I should cry, laugh, or scream; so I remained completely silent. "I honestly don't even know where he is this morning."

I let out a sad laugh. "Probably with that skank from last night." Jaime walked over to me and placed an arm around my shoulders so I place my head on his chest and let out whatever it was that I was feeling. Instead I kept on smoking.

+++

Later in the day, most of the men had left the house and gone off to wherever they had to be. I had taken a shower and tried to clean up, even if my head hurt like hell, and after 8 p.m. there was still no sign of Mike. No call, no text, no showing up at the door to apologize or explain himself. Nothing. Jaime, Austin, and I sat in the living room watching Pawn Stars all day because it seemed like the headaches and hurt wasn't going to escape. They treated me like a small child who was hurt and let me do whatever I wanted to. Even when I changed the channel, they didn't make annoyed noises like normal.

Around 9:40 a knock came from the back door. I felt my entire body tense up and my heart sped up like it was about to burst. "Should I get it?" Jaime asked me. I nodded my head, waiting for the moment to Mike to walk in here. I heard greetings, knowing that Vic was here and that he sounded sorry. I didn't hear Mike, but I could feel his presence strongly. I shook my head, thinking about how pathetic it was that he had to drag his older brother into this. Before they could even enter the living room, I lit up a cigarette and leaned my head on Austin who quietly tried to soothe me.

And then he came in and stood in front of me.

And he looked apologetic.

And he looked sad.

And felt nothing but anger.

"Do you guys mind?" His voice was low, his eyes were to the ground. He was shoving his hands in his pockets like he was completely nervous about this moment. The other three men looked at me, trying to figure out if it were okay.

"Whatever you need to say to me can be said in front of them." My tone was absolutely bitter. I had not sounded like this in months and months.

Mike's face went from sad to slightly angry when he shot his eyes at mine. "Nothing happened." I stared at him dumbfounded at the fact that that was all he could muster up. I kept looking at him, waiting for more to fall out of his mouth, but he kept his lips pursed together as if he wasn't going to let more words escape. Suddenly, I laughed without controlling it.

"Whatever, Mike. I don't really care at this point." I stood up and searched the room for an ashtray, but did everything I could to not even come close to him. To my surprise, Vic looked more upset with Mike than the rest of us. It was almost like he was trying to tell his little brother something telepathically, but Mike didn't pick up on it.

"Juliet!" He almost screamed. He grabbed my arm before I could sit back down. If I wasn't pissed off before, this was defiantly the tipping point. "Nothing. Happened." He snarled through his teeth. His grip loosened and I still didn't move. "I'm stupid, okay? I know this already. Vic pulled me away from her, he took me home and lectured me. I'm not myself when I'm drunk and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Querida." His eyes softened and his face fell into a frown that I couldn't resist. He leaned in closer to me and whispered to me. "Forgive me, please. I really do love you." When he lifted his head and looked at me, he saw the tears that were obviously forming in my eyes.

"This doesn't mean that I forgive you, Mike." I sighed and continued to puff on my cigarette. He nodded his head and licked his lips like he knew that we weren't going to break up, but he knew damn well that my trust was going to be hard to gain back.

Austin stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders. "If you ever hurt her again, man…" Mike looked back down at his feet shamefully. Austin didn't even need to finish his sentence and everyone knew that Austin Carlile wasn't the violent or angry type, but everyone knew that if he wanted to, he could cause serious harm.

"I'm with him." Jaime interjected while pointing at Austin. This was a surprise to Mike. His own bandmate was threatening him. His own bandmate would rather stick up for this girl than him… but from the looks of it, Mike didn't blame him.

"I get it." Mike through his hands up in defeat. "I fucked up. Severely."

"You're not off the hook just yet." I told him, feeling bad that he looked like a small child being yelled at by adults. He nodded his head before taking my hands into his and flashing me the most guilty eyes in the world. It wasn't easy to be mad at Michael Fuentes, but I stood my ground while I still could.

"I'll make this up to you, Jules." With that tears formed in my eyes and I was ready to wrap my arms around him and tell him that it was all okay even though it wasn't.

From there, it was going to be a long road of trying to watch out for Mike and making sure that he wasn't up for playing anymore whore-like games.