Live As If We Died

"Fuck," I heard Jaime scream in the hallway. That's all he had to say and I knew I had been caught crying finally. I didn't think I was all too loud, but Jaime has some super-sonic hearing that I couldn't wrap my head around. Finally, the door handle jiggled, but I had locked it behind me. "Open the door, Jules." His voice was quiet and understanding. As much as I didn't want to let him in, I did anyway. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm dandy," I choked out. It had been five days and I was finally a mess like I had been on the first night. That's the thing about break-ups. When you block them out, they hit you when you least expect it. Everything reminds you of them suddenly and it gets to you in the worst way possible.

"Obviously not," Jaime wrapped his arms around me and started stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down. "It's going to be okay. I promise that it will be," he whispered and kissed my head. "Next time, don't lie about going to bed if you need someone or feel like shit again, okay?" I nodded in agreement.

"What's going on?" Mike yelled as him and Vic rushed upstairs to see my blotchy, red, make-up smeared face. Mike had been here three out of the five days and we began to actually know each other well.

Their expressions turned completely sympathetic and sad. Neither of the two knew what to do because in reality, there was nothing that they could do. "Alcohol. It fixes everything," Mike broke the silence and smiled at me.

I snapped at him. "It numbs everything, it doesn't fix shit."

"Well then lets go to the kitchen and get numb everything!" His offer sounded very tempting. I sighed and started walking downstairs to pull out the Jameson, Jack Daniel's, and Absolut.

"We'll make you something, just go clean off your face." Jaime laughed since I had forgotten that make-up was drained all over still. I felt slightly embarrassed, but at the same time, I didn't give two shits. I did what I was told yet again and came back to the kitchen to see a girly drink on the counter.

"I'm not drinking this. Give me the Jameson," I demanded Vic. He handed it over and I drank straight from the bottle. After chugging as much as I could, I turned to Jaime. "Can we watch Eternal Sunshine?" He smiled bashfully and nodded.

"Anything you want." We all walked towards the living room with bottles and glasses in hand and Jaime put in the movie. All I wanted to do at that point was erase Austin from my mind completely. Too bad they don't have that type of technology yet. If they did, I'd pay whatever amount of money they wanted so I could get it over with.

+++

The movie ended and only two of us remained. Vic had gone back home half-way through the movie because his girlfriend called to yell at him and Jaime had fallen asleep. Mike and I had laughed over dumb shit throughout the movie, acting like complete jackasses with liquor in our systems. He had sat right next to me and scooted closer when the guys weren't looking. At this point, my head was in the crook of his neck and my legs were draped over his lap.

The alcohol was making me stupid as I leaned my head up in the slightest and started to kiss his neck. At first, he was completely caught off guard and his breathing started to shallow. He stopped me and tipped my head up for our lips to meet. The kisses were soft and sweet until his tongue asked for more and he deepened everything. As the time passed, his hands were inching their way under my shirt and my hands were tangled in his hair. Finally, he pulled away and stopped everything all together.

"We can't be doing this, Juliet." For some reason, he was thinking straight and I didn't understand what he meant.

"Why not?" I was mad at him for pulling away because all that I could feel inside was lust and wanting.

"We're drunk and both of us would regret it." He was probably right, but I became a stubborn child afterwards. "C'mon, I'll walk you up to your room." He stood up and held a hand out to me. We walked hand in hand up the steps, mainly because I could barely stand. As soon as we hit my room, I fell face first onto the bed and spread out all of my limbs. "You gonna sleep in your clothes?" He laughed at me.

"I'm comfy, Mikey." He was still laughing and fell against the wall from loss of balance. I sat up and looked at him. "Stay with me." It was more of a demand than it was a question. His laughing stopped and didn't exactly know how to respond.

"Is that a good idea?"

"Nothing's gonna happen, Mike. We barely even know each other and you're too drunk to drive. So just stay with me... Please." I begged. A grin grew on his face as he shut the door and took off his shoes. "Wipe the smirk off your face."

"Not gonna happen," he grunted and shut the lights off, stumbling into bed.

"Why's that?" I asked, but he didn't respond. He pulled back the covers and pulled me against his body so we were as close as we could be. The silence wasn't awkward. It was perfect and added something to a great moment.

"You are truly beautiful, Juliet," he whispered into my ear as I fell asleep. The way his lips brushed against my ear made me feel something that I never did before. The chills came back and a sudden spark hit me. "And I don't know what it is about you, but I really fucking like you." He started to chuckle after he let the words slip out of his mouth.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked him.

"I've never actually said that to a chick before now," his laugh turned into a full belly-laugh and he could barely pull himself together. His laugh was the most intoxicating noise I had ever heard in my life. It made my heart flutter and my knees feel weak. Finally, his laughter stopped and he placed his hand over mine, lacing our fingers together.

"Your laugh is cute." That was the last thing I said before I fell asleep instantly. Neither of us moved our position the entire night. I woke up feeling better than I had in days. There was still something about this boy that I couldn't place a finger on and I had started thinking that he was putting on a show for me and was actually like the guys said he was.