Waiting For Your Call
Chapter One
You said that we could do it; you said that long distance wouldn’t break us. I wish I could make you look me in the eyes and tell me you meant it. Was it all just a game to you? It’s times like these that I think back on all of the things you’ve said in the past and I wonder what exactly was going through your mind; times when I’m alone in my room on a Saturday night, my face sticky with tears. All of the promises you made, did you ever intend to keep them?
My friends are out partying, I guess that’s what normal 21 year olds do on the weekend. They’ll stumble in at some ungodly hour of the morning and barely make it to their bedrooms before they pass out. It used to bother me, the noise I mean, but lately it’s been more comforting than anything. It lets me know that they’re there; that they haven’t abandoned me.
We’re strong enough to make it, Baby; we’re made of solid gold.
I try to fight the tears, I do, but they continue to fall as my body shakes with an onslaught of uncontrollable sobs. You had me fooled, I’ll give you that much. I actually believed every single word that slipped through your lips. Nobody thought we could do it, “long distance never works”, they’d say. I never took any notice. Maybe I should’ve listened to them; it seems they were right after all.
It wasn’t always this hard, what changed? At first, you called me every night. Then every night turned into every other night and then every other night turned into once a week. I clutch my phone tightly to my chest as I wait for it to ring. My friends all told me I was crazy to stay with you but you were my first serious relationship; I wanted us to last.
It’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wanted so badly for that to be the truth; I wanted to come out of this better off; happier than we had ever been before. You were supposed to fall even more in love with me and you were meant to miss me so much that it drove you insane. I’m learning that life doesn’t always work the way you want it to though. Sometimes, what you want and what you get are two very different things.
I love you, distance won’t change that.
3 o’clock rolls around and the last little flicker of hope in my chest burns out. It would be a lie to say that I’m not disappointed. My heart aches for you. A scream escapes from my throat and I thank whoever’s listening that my roommates aren’t home to hear the pain filled sound. Deep down, I think I knew that we would only last so long.
As I spare my phone one last glance, the five simple words that I typed out so many hours ago stare back at me. I know that I could press send and possibly receive an answer to the question I have been asking myself for the last four months but I don’t. Instead, I let out a sigh as I bury myself in the warmth provided by my blankets and beg for sleep to consume me.
Why do I love you?
My friends are out partying, I guess that’s what normal 21 year olds do on the weekend. They’ll stumble in at some ungodly hour of the morning and barely make it to their bedrooms before they pass out. It used to bother me, the noise I mean, but lately it’s been more comforting than anything. It lets me know that they’re there; that they haven’t abandoned me.
We’re strong enough to make it, Baby; we’re made of solid gold.
I try to fight the tears, I do, but they continue to fall as my body shakes with an onslaught of uncontrollable sobs. You had me fooled, I’ll give you that much. I actually believed every single word that slipped through your lips. Nobody thought we could do it, “long distance never works”, they’d say. I never took any notice. Maybe I should’ve listened to them; it seems they were right after all.
It wasn’t always this hard, what changed? At first, you called me every night. Then every night turned into every other night and then every other night turned into once a week. I clutch my phone tightly to my chest as I wait for it to ring. My friends all told me I was crazy to stay with you but you were my first serious relationship; I wanted us to last.
It’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wanted so badly for that to be the truth; I wanted to come out of this better off; happier than we had ever been before. You were supposed to fall even more in love with me and you were meant to miss me so much that it drove you insane. I’m learning that life doesn’t always work the way you want it to though. Sometimes, what you want and what you get are two very different things.
I love you, distance won’t change that.
3 o’clock rolls around and the last little flicker of hope in my chest burns out. It would be a lie to say that I’m not disappointed. My heart aches for you. A scream escapes from my throat and I thank whoever’s listening that my roommates aren’t home to hear the pain filled sound. Deep down, I think I knew that we would only last so long.
As I spare my phone one last glance, the five simple words that I typed out so many hours ago stare back at me. I know that I could press send and possibly receive an answer to the question I have been asking myself for the last four months but I don’t. Instead, I let out a sigh as I bury myself in the warmth provided by my blankets and beg for sleep to consume me.
Why do I love you?