If It Keeps You Around Then I'm Down

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred thirty six hours, fifty minutes, thirty one, thirty two, thirty three seconds… thirty four… thirty five… thir-

What was he doing?

It has been that long since the incident between him and Alex. And no, Jack wasn’t counting at all. He had too many more important things to do than waste time counting.

Forty four… forty five…

I don’t know, Jack. I think this is wrong.

It was Alex’s last words before he took off and locked himself inside his room and wouldn’t even utter a response towards Jack’s call. He went home after that with a tent that wasn’t going down if he won’t fix it himself.

That night he violated himself, thinking that for the first time after six years he was using his hands again because of Alex, his cute but definitely stubborn best friend.

‘That bastard, starting something he couldn’t finish.’

‘Uhn…’

‘I’ll get him… he just conveniently thought he could get away th-at.. fast didn’t he…’

‘Ahh….s-shi…t’

‘F-fucker…’

‘He just thought that h-he could mouth rape me and then just l-left, his soft sweet lips that w-was so delicious… ag-gainst mine, his skin under m-my touch…’

‘Huh?...’

‘Well, there goes my clean boxers.’

Fifty nine…

Another minute had passed.

He kept wondering when Alex would come around and decide that they need to talk. More than the gut wrenching want, he truly missed Alex, they were inseparable after all and this dent just frustrated him, he just wanted to see him that’s all. To hear his voice, maybe touch him, just a simple hand against his shoulder, maybe a hug wouldn’t be too ambitious.

He hated this, cursing into the wind, blaming all the possible unconnected things for his dilemma, what do you know? It might have been the air that was heavy with humidity that night that caused it, so he could blame the damn thing! Stab it to death and step on it ‘til it begged for mercy.

Yeah, he’s childishly cruel, he’s not up for debating it against you unless you’re Alex in which case you’re not, so SHUT UP.

“Gaaaah…….” He fisted his hair, screaming in frustration and annoyance.

“Why did he have to be so stubborn? I didn’t mind it, so why would he?!”

Here he goes again, talking to himself, turning into an argument with himself and in the end being reasonable and consoling himself that Alex was just terrified and scared of what happened.

It was a pathetic cycle that goes on and on, and on the third week he was at his wits end and went on rampage, knocking on Alex’s door and howling at the moon. Angry that Alex took the spare key from its hiding place and the one that he had magically disappeared.

“He couldn’t have taken it, maybe it was Rian! Why that little…” his mumbling and muttering curses while fumbling helplessly on the knob

“ALEX! You fucking can’t go on like this forever. Open the damn door!” He trashed and kicked the door as if his violence could open it.

“Just go away Jack.”

It was a faint voice that came from the older boy on the other side of the door. If Jack wasn’t scrunched down the doorway, legs completely sprawled out looking like a kid who lost his candy, head leant against the closed door he wouldn’t have heard it.

“No…” his response was as quiet as Alex’s, a complete contrast of his wild behavior just moments ago.

“Why can’t you just let this go? I… I have…” the older boy trailed off, uncertainty dripping his voice.

Jack scoffed because clearly that wasn’t the case. “Yeah, right. You’re so over it you couldn’t even face me. Hell you even took your keys, even the one I have. That’s not fair!” he didn’t mean it but he whined that last part like a kid that wanted a fluffy stuffed toy but was denied anyway but Alex was being so stubborn that he felt justified with his actions.

He banged his back on the door, a little frustrated to do an actual knock, “Come on Alex, open the door. I won’t bite, I swear. We need to talk, you can’t hide forever man. The guys were all asking about you. They’re worried you dug up a hole and died in it.”

He was trying to reason but Alex was still silent, he’s not even sure if his still there so he thought of a new tactic. Maybe if he told him about what he feels then he might crack him up a little, this crazy hard nut that he calls his best friend, “It’s been three weeks, this is overly dramatic even for you. This is worse than the time you sulked and had a panic attack because you were so scared you couldn’t write anymore and that has been big but at least you came and talked to me. Come on Alex, you don’t answer my calls, not even replying to my messages. Don’t be like this man. I… I miss you…”

He had to admit that was such a gay thing to say but still he was being honest, now if only Alex would just get over himself and stop being such a broody piner.

“How can I talk to you when you’re the problem Jack.” Came the soft reply and he was glad that Alex was still there though the older boy’s words panged his heart a little. Seriously, that had hurt. “I… I uh, didn’t mean it that way. It’s just… you’re part of the problem, I mean, ugh. It’s hard, alright!”

And the frustration was clear on Alex’s voice, it made Jack realize that this was really hard for him. That didn’t mean that he’s giving up though it just fueled the want he feels, the need to talk about the situation they’re in because he must admit, it really sucked without Alex being there with him physically over those three dreadful weeks.

Mentally having Alex was not enough, hell it’s what frustrated him the most actually. The fact that he couldn’t even touch him, hug him, or even hear his voice. Alex might always have a bitchy streak but it was nice teasing him and helping him out of the mood his in. He missed how they were before, the simple elbow bumps, or their knee touching, the morning hugs and quick cheek pecks. He missed it all. He simply missed Alex, that’s all.

“Come on Alex, we have to talk about this. You can’t go on like this forever man. It sucked so much not having you around. It doesn’t feel normal at all. We’ve had each other for twelve years Al, not having a day long apart. This is too much of a punishment for something that you yourself started. It’s not fair towards me when all I did was bare myself to you.”

Silence fell between the two of them, Jack felt miserable and just couldn’t comprehend on the idea of not having Alex in his life. He felt like hope was flying out of his grasp as the seconds tick by until he heard the soft creaks of the door opening.