The War Inside

The next few days were miserable. They kept bringing me food which I never ate. I laid there and whined for hours at a time. I couldn’t take the isolation. The three kept checking on me every few hours. They barely spoke. When they did, I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying. It was when they starting speaking about their boss and my tattoo that I realized that they were Americans. They were working as agents for The State’s agency.
Once I knew who and what they were, I was a little more aware of my surroundings. I kept track of the time between visits from my keepers. I thought it odd when they didn’t come. I kept waiting, thinking my counting was off. Then I heard the footsteps. They were heavier than the three people keeping watch. The stride was shorter. Thunk…thunk…thunk…thunk. Then they stopped. I looked over at the door when the knob began to turn.
He walked in after he opened the door. He left it open. He walked over to the side of the room and grabbed a small chair. This strange man pulled it over beside the bed. Before he sat down, he reached in his pocket and grabbed a key. He placed the key on the bed, just slightly out of reach from me.
He sat down and I got a good look at his face. His eyes were set further apart than what would be considered normal. He had brown curly short hair and brown eyes. He had a slight tan, and he had a 5 o’clock shadow. When I looked at him in the eyes, he looked surprised and then sad.
“Why are you here, child?” His voice was soft and weak. He was speaking English. When I didn’t answer, he repeated the question in German. When I still didn’t answer he sighed in frustration and the three wardens came in.
The four of them started arguing about how they could get me to talk. I was listening to them, but I was not looking at any of them. I was staring at the key laying parallel with my eyes. This was it. I had to make my choice.
“My name is Evelyn. Evelyn Walter. I was raised by German spies. Three years ago they abandoned me in my time of need. I will not give up their secrets. If you are trying to get information from me, stop. I won’t say anything. If that is your plan, go ahead and kill me for the point will be moot and a waste of time.” I kept my eyes steady and on the key. I didn’t want to see their reactions, though by the silence, I could tell they were surprised. Maybe it was my fluent English, or perhaps, it was me speaking at all.
The man that laid the key in front of me thought for a second. He rubbed his scruffy face like he was about to make an irrational decision. “I won’t kill you. If you will give me your word that you will follow me and my agency, I won’t have you give up any information. We will change what you look like and your name. If you choose to not come with me, I will leave you here. You will live the rest of your life like you have been living these past few weeks-chained, isolated, and certainly not missed. Not by me or any of your friends in Germany.” He was serious. I thought about it. I could start over.
“Okay. I give you my oath I will work for you.” I was happy. I would be free.
The next couple of weeks I was informed about the lifestyles and rules and laws that the American race lived by. My long blonde hair was cut short. It was then right below my shoulders. I also had to have it colored. The color chosen, not by me, was brown. This brown looked like the bark of a tree. I did not like it one bit. My blue eyes had to be covered with green contacts. I got glasses, too. When I looked in the mirror, all of my physical German traits were covered up; even my tattoo had to be covered with make-up.
The next step in my transformation was to come up with a story explaining who I was. I was being transferred because my identity got uncovered. It was simple enough; few would ask questions. I would be watched and monitored until I would be trusted, which didn’t take too long.
The man that offered me a new life was to become my boss. His name was Mark Willis. I say “was” because right now, in the present, his body is burnt beyond recognition. I think I will miss him. He saved my life. But I do not regret what I did.
The next thing I knew, I was on a plane pretending to be a 10-year-old-girl. My birthday was a few days before this, not that it was celebrated. When the plane arrived in Indianapolis, Indiana, I was ready to re-do my life.
The flight attendant walked me down to get my bags once the flight landed. Minors were not allowed to be left alone. From there she kept talking to me like I was an incompetent five-year-old. I kept up my façade. I was smiling and laughing and talking real loud like what I had to say about something unimportant was the most valuable information on the Earth.
She was taking me to my “father,” Bruce. When I saw him, I got a little carried away. I screamed, “Daddy!” and ran to him. He laughed and grabbed my bags and then we left. He was still chuckling about what I did in the airport. He was able to focus when we were walking out the door. In the parking lot he told me a little bit more about my partner.
My partner’s name was Aaron. He was thirty and had a family. I wasn’t allowed to learn specifics; nobody knew personal information about another agent, no details. Not even a last name. He didn’t know anything about me other than my name, which got changed to Emily Waters. He didn’t know my age or my background. I could have given the information to him, but I did not want him to know. I did not want him to feel sorry for me.
Mark and I were walking to the car he and Aaron brought. I saw Aaron leaning against the back of the 2074 Cadillac. He looked up when he heard somebody approaching.
“Who’s that?” Aaron was very confused. He straightened his position by putting his weight on both feet.
“Aaron, this is your partner, Emily.” Mark smiled and gestured to both Aaron and I when he said each of our names.
Aaron looked at me and then at Mark and then back at me. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I am not ‘kidding.’” His tone was that shut-up-and-don’t-put-your-foot-in-your-mouth kind.
I jumped in before they could say anything else. “Stop talking about me like I am not here or like I’m a child who doesn’t understand anything.” I spoke with a voice that didn’t sound like it belonged to a ten-year-old.
Aaron focused his attention on Mark and completely ignored me. “I’m not going through with this, she is a child. How could she be able to do anything? I doubt she could even hack a computer. How old is she anyway?”
Mark sighed in frustration and replied. “Ten. She has been through a lot more than you know. Look at the brightside,” Mark’s face lit up humorously. “Your wife won’t be jealous. You did say she was nervous about you getting a female partner…no need for her to worry.” He started laughing. Aaron just stared at him.
We all got into the car and I closed my eyes in the backseat. I asked where it was we were heading and he told me it was a small, quaint, little town called Hagerstown. They continued rambling on in the car about me and my age. I was kind of tired of it so I fell asleep. When I woke up I was in what looked like an office.
This was to become my office. It was bigger than the one I had back home in Germany. It was darker, too. The carpet was an ugly moss color. There was a large wooden desk with a computer and calendar on it. There were a few bookshelves. They held encyclopedias and dictionaries and other reference books.
There was a couch, which was what I was laying on. It was comfortable. It was sitting behind the desk pushed up against the wall. The door which was across from the couch on the opposite wall was wood. There wasn’t a window on it. There were two windows beside, heavily tinted. I could only see silhouettes on the other side of the glass.
There was another door. It was all wooden with no windows beside it. The first thing I did was knock on it. When I got no reply, I reached for the doorknob. It was cold. I slowly started to knob it to the right. The door was unlocked. Not sure what was on the other side, I opened the door slowly, carefully, cautiously. I looked inside. I sighed in relief. It was a bathroom.
I slept there in the office. The couch had a pull-out bed in it. I had blankets and pillows. It was actually really comfortable.
I spent a lot of time in my office. When I woke up I would go to the cafeteria which was three stories below ground. That whole place was underground. The location used to be a high school, sixty or seventy years ago. It was burnt down by an arsonist. They rebuilt it closer to the elementary school.
After I got my breakfast I would return to my office and eat. I was always alone. I preferred it. When I finished my breakfast I would change and get ready. We were required to wear black dress pants and a white button-up top, long-sleeved. Everybody also had a suit-jacket in black. A lot of spies wore it year-round.
We also had a white tank top, black fitted sweatpants, and black shorts to wear for working out and training. I usually did that after I ate my breakfast. I worked for hours sometimes. After that I’d go and shower and change into work-clothes. I’d get lunch and eat in my office. After eating I would report to Mark’s office and he would find come odd-end jobs or tasks for me to do. I did those for the rest of the day. I would take a break for dinner (which I ate in my office) and sometimes I’d get to go on missions.
Aaron ignored me whenever he could. He would talk down to me. He showed me no respect. One day, when I was 12, I was over it. I went up to him and made a deal.
“Look, I’m tired of not having any respect. You treat me as if I can’t do anything. Let me make a deal with you. If you can pin me, I will ask to be transferred. If I can pin you, you must start showing me respect and treating me as your equal; as your partner. Do we have a deal?” I kept my irritated glare on him. I stared into the depths of his eyes.
“I am not going to fight a ten-year-old.” He said bluntly as he raised an eyebrow and gave me an are-you-joking-or-is-this-for-real-because-it-is-an-insane-idea look.
“Fine, then. Start showing me respect! Oh, and I am 12, by the way.” I demanded and I actually stomped my foot down.
“I’d rather take the deal.” His pride was annoying. I shook his hand.
We took our places on the mat lying on the floor. There were other agents walking around but they had all stopped when they realized what Aaron and I were about to do.
I let him make the first move. He hesitated and then began to throw a right hook to my stomach. I dodged out of the way all the while grabbing his fist and twisting behind his back. When he was trying to recover I swiped his feet out from under him, still pushing his fist to his back. He went straight down. One for Evelyn…Whoops, I meant Emily.
He huffed and puffed and then said, “Best two-out-of-three.”
I laughed and prepared myself again. He tried his hardest, knowing what to expect. He lasted longer this time. I did play around a little. In the end, though, I was the victor. I started laughing and told him that I’d better start seeing respect.
Everybody that was watching started laughing and gave Aaron a hard time. I went straight to my office. Over the next few days I did see a change in attitude and actions towards me. Not just from Aaron, but also from all the other agents.