Kiss Me Again

TAY`S POV

Tour with All Time Low was certainly stressful. They`d been on the road for two months now, and Alex was getting tired and homesick. I could tell.
I, on the other hand, was loving every minute of it. Alex was one of my best friends, and it was refreshing to be able to spend some time with him and the rest of the guys. Not to mention the parties. All Time Low had a knack for throwing the best parties around town and I felt honoured to be invited. My lifestyle still felt like one big dream and to be associated with a band as successful as All Time Low made it even more surreal. I never wanted this dream to end.
Alex and I were sat across from each other on the large sofa at the back of ATL`s tourbus. I couldn`t help but admire the way he looked when he was slumped down with his chin on his chest, glaring at his phone. It was our day off and he didn`t look like he was enjoying it. He sighed and looked up.
"I`m bored." he said, blinking at me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow.
"So?"
Alex grinned like a child, then raised an eyebrow.
"So... do something about it"
"What exactly do you want me to do about that?"
Alex winked and wiggled his eyebrows. Then smirked... almost suggestively. I grabbed a cushion and threw it at him.
"Quit it."
Alex sighed and stood up, walking over and plopping down next to me. He then shuffled until he was lying down and put his head on my lap.
"I miss my mum and dad." he said, sighing. I smiled and looked down at him, stroking his hair. He looked up.
"At least you have me."
Alex snorted.
"Greeeeaaat" he said, in an almost nasty tone. "Just what I need."
I frowned and pushed his head off my lap, defensively. Ouch. He looked at me, confused as I stood up and walked across the room with my arms crossed.
"Tay, I was joking." he said, humour circling his voice.
"Don`t care."
Alex got up from the couch where he was lying and walked over to me. I was still sulking and he pulled me into a hug, sighing dramatically. I was small against him, and he rested his chin on my head. I stayed straight as a plank, too stubborn to wrap my arms around him until he apologised.
"I`m sorry," he said reading my mind. "You are exactly what I need. I`m sorry for snapping, I am just tired."
His words were like soft, melting butter and I reached up, standing on my tip toes to reach around his neck and pull him into a proper hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me, tight. He nuzzled my neck affectionately and I felt like my whole body was bursting, I couldn`t help but smile.
Alex was an affectionate person. He could make you smile that way. In one sense, there`s a party boy who has an intimate relationship with alcohol and party girls, but on the other, there`s a boy who likes to cuddle at random moments and often displays his affection with a kiss on the cheek. Though, I had noticed he didn`t do that with other girls. Just me.
We stayed like that for another moment or two, then he released me.
"You want to do something tonight?" he said, excitement pooling in his eyes.
"Sure. Like what?"
"Dunno," he shrugged. "up to you."
"We could have a party?"
Alex shook his head, then immediately regretting it. He winced as he remembered about his aching hangover from the night before.
"No thanks. I`m still paying the consequences for last night." he moaned. "I was thinking something quiet, just the two of us."
"Like a date?" I said, my voice higher than I expected. I cleared my throat and repeated, worrying I sounded desperate. "Like a, uh, date?"
Alex opened his eyes and stared at me quizzically.
"No... unless you want it to be." he smiled. I blushed, embarrassed.
"Uh, okay."
"Go get dressed. Something fancy. Let`s make a night out of it." Alex grinned, excitement pooling in his eyes.

~

An hour or so later, Alex and I were stood outside a fancy restaurant in fancy clothes. Alex was being really sweet and I was really enjoying the night so far, even though it had barely begun.
"Table for two. Your best table, outside under the stars. Name Gaskarth." Alex smiled charmingly at the waitress, who smiled back.
"Come with me."
Alex laced his hand with mine as we followed the waitress, and my palm tingled under his touch. He`d held my hand a million times before but for some reason, it felt different this time. I suddenly became self conscious my hand was sweaty and I blushed, apparently unnoticed.
Alex held out my chair for me and I sat down and watched as he took his. It was a cool night and the sky was clear of clouds, the only thing to be seen were the sparkling stars and the giant, glowing moon. It was beautiful.
"This feels like a date, doesn`t it..." Alex stated rather than questioned, and I looked at him to realise his cheeks had gone red. I reached across the table and took his hand innocently.
"A good date."
Alex laughed and squeezed my fingers as the waitress came over and took our orders. When she left, Alex released my fingers and smiled.
"This is nice." he said. "I was getting tired of screaming fans and loud music. I`ve had a constant headache these past two months and this the perfect detox."
I smiled, I liked it when Alex was affectionate and sweet. Though, I liked it when he was playful, or moody, or sad. I liked Alex.
"Plus, you look hot."
I raised an eyebrow and glowered at him.
"How romantic of you."
Alex laughed, playfully.
"Sorry, gorgeous. I meant you look gorgeous."
I felt the heat rush to my face and I blushed, immensely. I felt like my face was on fire. Luckily, the waitress came over with our food just in time.
"That looks delicious," he said, staring at my pasta ravioli dish, then scowling at his. "I wish I`d have gotten that."
I cockily took a bite, emphatically licking the fork clean. I could see the jealousy in his face when he took a bite of his seemingly under cooked steak.
"MMMMMMM" I said, closing my eyes. "Delicious."
Alex frowned and stabbed his fork into his steak, sulking. I felt bad and collected a few ravioli pieces on a fork and holding them out to him, defeated. His face lit up and he leaned over his plate and clamped his mouth around the fork, using his teeth to clear the contents. He swallowed and moaned in appreciation.
"We just swapped spit." I said, laughing.
"Yeah, we practically made out. Want to try some of this?" he said, looking once more at the pathetic slab of meat on his plate. I raised an eyebrow.
"No thanks, but I will have some of these." I said, reaching over and grabbing a handful of chips from his plate. He reached out to claim them back but it was too late, they were already in my mouth. I giggled in victory and smiled sweetly at him. At first he looked angry, but his face softened and he smiled. He watched me eat for a second, his face soft and calm, almost like he was admiring me. Then he continued to poke at his steak.

After we were finished eating, Alex ordered a hot chocolate fudge cake to share, and we waited in anticipation.
"I am gonna murder the shit out of this cake." Alex said, licking his lips. "I saw someone eating one on the way in. They look mmmmm."
I smiled as the waitress brought over the slice of melted cake. Alex picked the spoon and took a bite, groaning in delight.
"I think I just tasted heaven." he said, gathering some more and holding out the spoon to me. I leaned over and scraped the spoon clean, then licking my lips as my mouth watered under the delicious contrast of the hot fudge sauce and the cool ice cream, along with the light, fluffy texture of the chocolate sponge.
"This shit is better than sex."
We repeated this until the cake was gone, Alex eating a spoonful, then feeding me a spoonful, and so on.
I was kind of sad when the meal finished. I was having fun with Alex and I didn`t want the party to end. I offered to both pay whole and split costs with Alex, but he was having none of it. He paid for the full meal and took my hand again as we walked out of the restaurant.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Jordan.

*Where are you?!?!*

I quickly texted back.

*With Alex. Taking a walk. See you later.*

It didn`t take long for him to reply.

*Okay. We`ve all gone out for drinks. You two coming along?*

*No, we`re okay. Still hungover.*

*Okay. The bus is empty. Be careful, don`t go out alone. X*

I frowned at Jordan`s text. Why did he tell me that the bus was empty? Was he suggesting something?

"What`s up?" Alex said, his face dipping in confusion.
"Nothing. I had a good time tonight." I said, trying to change the subject.
"Had? Who said it was over?" Alex grinned playfully and I looked up to see we were standing outside of a carnival. He has got to be joking.
"Are you joking?"
"No... Why would I do that?"
"Are you seriously expecting me to go round a fairground in these shoes?"
Alex sulked. "I`ll carry you."
I frowned and my heart sunk at his disappointed expression. I sighed.
"It`s okay. I`ll walk. Let`s go."

Despite my aching feet and initial negativity, I actually had a good time.
"SCORE!!" Alex screamed, as he shot yet another bullseye down on one of the prize winning stalls in the fairground.
"Pick your prize, sir." the unenthusiastic teenage boy behind the counter said. Alex snaked his arm around me and pulled me close. He turned his nose into my hair and took a deep breath, and for some reason my legs felt like jelly underneath him.
"Pick your prize, Tay." he whispered into my ear, nuzzling my hair. I breathed, finding it difficult to concentrate.
"The panda." I said, jabbing my finger at a giant, fluffy panda at the back of the stall. The teenage boy shook his head.
"Not enough tokens for that."
Alex frowned.
"Well how many tokens do you need for it?"
"2,500 for the panda, sir. You only have 1,500."
Alex paused for a minute and then stuck his hand in his pocket, slamming some more money onto the table.
"Then we`ll just have to play until we have enough tokens."

~
An hour later we were walking through the park with candy floss and a giant teddy panda, laughing so hard that neither us could breathe.
"You should`ve seen your face when that kid beat you in bumper cars," Alex yelled, laughter erupting through his body. "It was classic."
"Shut up," I said, mirroring his laughter. "I was scared, okay? He looked lethal."
Alex smiled, and snaked his free arm around me. I clutched harder onto the teddy panda, hoping I wouldn`t drop it due to the weakness I suddenly felt when Alex started touching me.
"I wouldn`t have let him hurt you, Tay. You know that."
I gulped and blushed, but I don`t think Alex noticed. Alex finished his candy floss and tossed the stick into the nearest bin, his eyes searching for something else to drag me onto. Alex`s eyes glistened as he caught sight of something he liked. I followed his eye. A giant, sparkling ferris wheel.
I sighed.
"You`re kidding."
"I`m not."
Alex grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the wheel, causing me to drop the candy floss and sprint to catch up with him. Alex paid the fare and clambered into the open topped carriage, anticipation filling his whole body.
"I hate heights." I sulked, cuddling my life sized panda.
"Suck it." he grinned, his fingers still toying with mine. The ferris wheel started moving slowly, and stopped every so often, the cool breeze running through my hair. It was nice actually, contrary to what I thought it would be like, and the view from above was spectacular.
"It stops every so often, so people can get a chance to see the view from the top..." Alex paused a second. "Isn`t it tradition for people to kiss at the top when they stop?"
His voice sounded innocent, but I knew his face would imply something, so I avoided looking at it so he wouldn`t see me blush.
"I don`t know." I lied, truth is it was a dream of mine to be kissed at the top of a ferris wheel, though I`d just never had the guts to go on one.
We were getting closer to the top and I could feel Alex stiffening next to me. He only ever did this when he was nervous. I was still holding his hand and his palms were sweaty, even though it wasn`t too hot outside. My heart quickened, was he planning something?
I watched the couple in front of our carriage stop at the top and share a kiss, then pull away as the carriage began to move back around. Our carriage moved with it, and just as it was about to stop, Alex turned to me. His eyes were swirling with his own nerves.
"Tay..." he said. I looked at him intensely. "I`m going to kiss you. Don`t freak out."
"Okay." I said, far too quickly and nervously for my own good. Alex relaxed a little, but his posture was still stiff. The carriage stopped and he leaned in. His breath was hot as I felt him lean in closer, and his hands snaked across either side of my face gently, holding me in place.
"I`m sorry." he whispered, in advance. Though, before I could respond his lips were on mine.
It wasn`t how I imagined Alex would be as a kisser. I expected him to be rough and sexy, like I`d seen him be with all the other girls. His lips were just gently pressed onto mine with slight force, and his eyes were closed, though I could feel his long eyelashes on my cheek. As he kissed me, he released a sweet, suppressed breath through his nose, and I quickly breathed in through mine, trying to take from him what I could.
The moment went too fast and in a second the carriage was moving and Alex pulled away, and although he was relaxed and still leaning into me, we sat in silence for the rest of the ride. I noticed I was squeezing the giant panda tight, and released my grip, feeling strangely bad for suffocating a stuffed animal.
When we got off the ride, Alex loosely took my hand and swung it back and forth innocently as we walked out of the theme park. I hugged my bear for warmth as we walked home as the chill was starting to get to me, and Alex noticed, sliding off his hoodie and slinging it round my shoulders. I threaded my arms through the sleeves.
"Better?" he said, and I nodded in response. He slung his arm around my shoulder and hugged me to him as we walked, and I closed my eyes, trusting him to guide me home as I soaked in his body heat.
~
"I had a nice time tonight." I said as we stepped back on to All Time Low`s empty tourbus.
"Yeah, me too."
I sat the panda on the couch and was going to walk to the cabinet to get a drink when I noticed Alex was staring at me.
"What?" I said.
"Nothing." he self consciously looked away. I frowned.
"Alex? Why did you apologise before you kissed me?"
"Huh? Oh... uh because... I don`t know I guess I thought you wouldn`t want too... you know... kiss me."
I raised an eyebrow and noticed he was blushing. My heart warmed and I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging his chest.
"Thank you for tonight."
"Any time." he whispered, stroking my hair. He buried his nose into it and kissed my scalp. "Seriously."
I looked up and Alex`s expression changed. He looked intense. I caught on to his unintentional flicker of emotion and before I knew it, I was on my tippy toes, my hands pulling his head down until our lips crashed together. I felt Alex`s shock but I ignored it.
Alex relaxed slowly and carefully leaned down to kiss me so my heels were back on the floor. His kiss was different than last time, more suggestive.
I felt him push me back until my back was against the wall and he was leaning against me, our lips attached and his breathing ragged. His hands slipped from my face to my waist and I felt myself begging for more of his touch.
His lips travelled down my face, his teeth grazing my jawline before he kissed and played with my earlobe between his teeth. I was a prisoner to his body and I was trapped underneath him, but I was okay with it.
"oh, Tay..." he whispered his kiss travelling further down my neck. My breathing was rapid. "the things you do to me I swear to god."
He nipped and sucked on my neck and his hands travelled back up my torso to my shoulders, gently sliding his hoodie down my arms and letting it fall to the floor. I slung my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, his lips meeting mine.
I was becoming frustrated with the fact that he wasn`t deepening the kiss, and so I slipped my tongue across his lip to try and suggest the hint. He denied access and I groaned in frustration against his lips.
He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away from him, keeping me at arms length. We were both breathing heavily and I took the time to realise how his white, v-neck shirt hung loosely but clung to his chest, and how the waistband of his boxers proceeded over his black skinny jeans. I slumped in frustration and he looked at me, concerned.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he said, shocked. I nodded and his expression softened, but he still looked at me in disbelief. His tone suggested that I was the one out of his league, when surely it was the other way around. I mean, look at him, he`s a gorgeous, carefree rockstar with the world in his hands. What did I have to compare?
It was like he read my thoughts.
"You don`t know how beautiful you are, do you?" he sighed, patronisingly. I felt extremely self conscious under his glare. He pulled me into a hug. "You`re perfect. Way too good for someone like me. You deserve a good person who loves you."
"You are a good person."
He smiled and looked at me with pity and some form of self loathing. I frowned, I hated the idea of Alex thinking he wasn`t good enough for me, who does he think he is? I make those decisions for myself.
"Please." I said. Feeling a pang of selfish self pity. Alex looked at me, and for some reason he looked amused.
"Are you begging me?"
"Yes." I answered without thinking. Alex considered it for a moment, then shrugged.
"Okay." he said, pulling me into his arms and into his lips once more. He caught my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down, seductively, then released. His tongue slid across my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I parted my lips wider and his tongue slipped into my mouth, stroking mine skilfully. I knew he`d done this a million times before with other girls but I didn`t care because it felt so good. He was so good.
I didn`t even bother fighting him for dominance because I enjoyed him overpowering me. I liked him being in the lead. I felt him pulling me and then I was pinned underneath him on his bunk. He used his arms to hold himself above me and his muscles flexed cockily. He used his teeth to graze my neck and I felt myself squeeze my eyes shut, the torture unbearable. My clothes were itching my burning skin and I was breathing heavily.
"Oh, Tay, Tay, Tay" Alex whispered through his teeth, then his lips were on mine. I reached down and slipped his t-shirt over his head, thankful for more skin to touch. Alex responded well to my touch and I felt myself grin in triumph. He blushed and looked down on me.
"Tay..." he whispered, quietly. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck.
"Mmm?"
His hands stroked my thighs gently and I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch.
"I love you." he whispered, bowing his head so I couldn`t see his face. "I always have. All those other girls, I used to wish they were you. I wanted to kiss you. I want to love you. I just didn`t know how to tell you."
I felt my chest sink with his words, in a good way. He looked up to examine my reaction and I noticed there was worry in his eyes. When I didn`t respond, he panicked.
"I`m sorry I`m so sorry I`ve freaked you out" he said, pushing his lips to mine in short, swift motions. "I`m really sorry Tay please say something."
Instead, I reached up and kissed him harder, this time taking the lead. Alex didn`t do so much as protest. I breathed harshly against his lips.
"I love you too." I whispered. I felt Alex relax and smile as he planted a small kiss on my lips.
"I`ve dreamed about hearing you say that for a long time." he whispered.
It was silent for a second, as we soaked each other in. Then, Alex said three words which sent my body reeling. I grabbed his face and rolled over, so I was on top of him. Grinning, I took control, and enjoyed it. He did too, by the looks of it. Something different for him, I guess. His words ran through my head and I smiled inwardly at his corny joke.
"Kiss me again."