If I Die Young

When I woke up, I immediately knew where I was—a hospital. Why I was there, that I wasn't sure of. I couldn't remember why I was brought to the hospital in the first place. Or when.

After wiping the sleep away from my eyes, I scanned the room to see that no one was here with me. Not my mum, my dad, or Louis. Not even any of the other boys.

Everyone… they all knew being in the hospital alone freaked me out. It was one of my greatest fears. Well, behind dying, until I realized that it was actually happening and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. When I was here, I liked to have at least one person in the room with me. I didn't even care if they were asleep or not.

Having someone with me put me at ease.

Now, internally, I was freaking out.

But then I heard the door open and close, then squeaky shoes as the person who opened the door walked in the room.

"Oh good, you're awake!" A nurse—Amanda—I had to squint my eyes to read the name tag on her scrubs. "I just need to check your vitals and then I can go find your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend."

She removed the stethoscope from around her neck and pressed the small disk-shaped end to my chest and listening while I let out deep breaths. Once she was finished listening she wrapped it back around her neck. "He's been here every day since you were brought in. Louis something, can't remember his last name for the life of me."

Louis. Of course. Who else would pretend to be my boyfriend so they could see me because only family and loved ones were allowed? (Even though the sound of your boyfriend and Louis in the same context did sound nice. But I wouldn't admit that out loud.)

But no one else would do that for me.

"Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson," I replied. "Must've forgot 'cause of the three day coma, yeah? Can you go find him for me, tell him I'm awake and that I'd like to see him?"

"'Course I can."

"Thanks, Amanda."

&&

When the door opened again and this time, it was obviously Louis, I sat up against the pillows and waited for him to walked further inside. His head poked out first, probably to make sure I was still awake or something, before he fully stepped into view.

"Hey, boyfri—" I tried to joke, but he cut me off.

He walked to the end of the bed and put his hands on the edge. "What the hell, Fallon? You had me worried sick, for three days! I thought you said everything was fine. That you were fine."

Joking tone pushed far away, I replied, "I am fine, Lou."

"Bullshit, that's proper bullshit and you know it," he said, his blue eyes looking straight into mine. "Tell me what's going on. And don't lie this time."

"Three months," I sighed, those two words leaving my lips faster than I could stop them.

"What about it?"

"When I went to the doctor that day, he did all sorts of tests, took x-rays and found more spots on my liver and kidneys, said it's spreading rapidly. That's how long he told me I had left, max."

Louis moved from the end of the bed to the left side, and took one of my hands in both of his. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth, Fal?"

"I didn't want you sad."

A few minutes of silence passed. the only noise was the sound of our breathing. It was tense, I didn't know what Louis was going to do, or what he was going to say.

This was the reason I didn't tell him in the first place.

Finally, he spoke. But it wasn't much. "So I've only got what, two months with you now?"

I gulped. "Hopefully."