Words Spoken

"I grew up in an old house. At the time, it was grand. Today, one could call it a giant dollhouse. In those days it was white and pink. Somehow over the years, it has turned black. Still it sits dreary on a hill, overlooking fields that slope and the pond that sits low as it always did. A great oak tree braces itself next to the pond. When I was a child, it was merely a sapling. A rickety old swing sways lightly in the breeze. It hangs crookedly and if one were to sit on it, the rope would surely snap.

But the pink azalea still dances in the same patches. I still remember the day Tag Engel gave them to me. He was leaving, off to save a life. He told me that I had to take care of myself for him. I like to believe that even if I died because of our love, it is that which keeps the flowers blooming.

When Tag Engel died, I felt it. Felt the pain radiate through me, even before I was told. At my age, I couldn’t lose him. Not after I lost Bruder.

It was that night I decided that hanging wasn’t just for criminals.

The house keeper had found me turning in mid air, dangling morbidly from the ceiling as blood dried around my arms and on my skirt. She had screamed, prompting the head keeper to check.

I had been buried days later.

But I didn’t care. All I wanted was to find Tag Engel or Bruder. That is all I needed.

But I found that I was condemned to roaming alone. Yet I still hoped for a chance. A chance to be a better anything.

Many years have passed. Many times I’ve fought against the Nebel that clouds around me. It works to take me in. Where? I do not know. But it is that which scares me.

But after all these years, I wanted a purpose. To be more correct, I should say I always wanted one. I never could find one.

Then you came along.

I found you when you were on the brink of my own fate. You longed for it really. But I told you to stay. At first you didn’t realize it was me. And when you did, you were afraid. But soon you wanted to believe. You wanted me to be real. Longed for it really.

And now I’m a part of you. You are a part of me. Together we live in harmony. Speaking only what should be said, I lurk in the shadows deep within your head. And in front you cower, letting me have complete power.

We are a part of each other.

And it all started with blood."