Coast of Maine

"We got high
Oh the moment felt so right
So let's run free and carry on
Like we did when we were young
Like we did when we were young
Oh, so young
Like we did when we were young"

. . . And that was The Maine performing "Like We Did"

I turned off the T. V sighing before running a hand over my face. It almost seemed as if he was taunting me. Where ever I went he'd be right there on the television, on a billboard and in some latest magazine print. It was as if he knew and was trying to pay me back for it. I shook my head before getting up and heading towards the kitchen, knowing the twins would be up from the nap and would need something to keep them energized.

As if my mind predicted it, I heard identical wails come from the upstairs bedroom. A small smile trudged onto my face as I made my way towards the staircase. Being a single parent was hard, but when I saw the looks on their faces I knew it was worth it. I wasn't really a single parent though. I lived with my one of bestfriends, and my other bestfriend was here so frequently it was as if he lived here also. Before I could even place a foot on the stairs Alex and Emily voice trailed down the staircase.

"We got them!" The yelled

I just smiled and shook my head at them, before turning around and heading into the kitchen. I made a beeline towards the fridge taking out two fresh bananas and a few organic strawberries. I sliced the bananas and strawberries into small pieces before mashing them and placing them into two separate baby bowls. One was for Jayden and the other was for Jenny. I know what you’re thinking, if I didn't what him to know that they were his kids why would I name my daughter after his mother. Well, I knew it was wrong to keep John out of the babies lives even those it was for the best, so I thought it was only a right to give the kids a piece of their father.

Anyways, after the fruits were smashes together I added a bit of honey in the two bowls, mixing it in. When my concoction was finished, I reached inside the fridge to. My birthing coach said she never bought baby food for her kids; instead she made it herself using organic food and herbs. So, following in her footsteps I did the same thing and the doctor said they were completely healthy and to continue what I was doing.

When I turned around I noticed Alex and Emily were standing in the kitchen doorway with a grumpy looking Jayden and a giddy Jenny. A pang hit my heart when I looked over at Jayden. He looked so much like John, from the brown hair to the crazy green-blue eyes he had. Jenny however took after me in the looks department. She had my light blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, but she did have Johns nose. I smiled, if I was grateful for one thing it was that John helped me make two beautiful kids. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Alex spoke.

"Why is Jayden always grumpy after his nap?" Alex grunted, as Jayden tugged on his ear.

Emily and I shared a look before bursting out laughing. Little Jenny following behind us, her little baby giggles filling the air around us. When Alex finally realized we were laughing at him he pouted before handing Jayden to over to me and stomping out of the room mumbling under his breather. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit more at his antics, he acts like such a sulking little kid at times

"You know we love you!" Emily yelled out to Alex.

"That’s what they all say" Alex grumbled back.

I giggled, before turning to Emily. "Can you feed Jen for me?"

"No problem! She does love me the best anyways" She beamed.

I rolled my eye playfully, before setting Jayden down in his high chair. His faced light up when he realized it was feeding time. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was Kennedy baby instead of Johns. I handed Emily one of the bowls and I took the other one. I smirked over in Emily direction as she started to feed Jenny. Emily seems to keep forgetting how much of a messy eater Jenny was, most of the food we tried to feed her ended up mostly on her and ourselves.

Looking back over at Jayden I started to feed him, thank god he wasn’t as messy eater like his sister. It wasn’t long before the bowl was empty; he was such a fast eater. His fast eating habits worried me sometimes, but the doctor said there was nothing to worry about since the food is organic and the process flows down faster and some other unimportant information that I zoned out on.

I couldn’t help but let my mind drift over to John and the other. I sometimes wonder if he even remembers that we even slept together at Pats birthday party, being how he seemed less intoxicated them me. I couldn’t remember doing the actually deed with him, but I remember the next day so clearly. I remember waking up next to him in Pat’s guest room stark naked, the area between my thighs throbbing. I had wasted no time in gathering my clothes and leaving the apartment. I didn’t see John and the guys again until they were packing up for tour a few weeks later, and at that time I was packing up to leave myself something they were all unaware of. When I said goodbye to John he made no attempt at hinting that he knew we slept together, so I decided to stay quiet.

Sometimes I couldn’t help but miss my home state Arizona, but I didn’t regret moving to Los Angeles one bit. It wasn’t like I came to a new city all alone. Emily had moved out here four years prior to me having transferred colleges in Arizona to attend one in California. Alex came into the picture a few months after I had already moved and settled in, I meet him through Emily. They were both aspiring actors and had hit it off quite well when they had meet at an audition for a romance movie. They didn’t hit off romantically seeing how Alex already had a girlfriend of two years waiting for him back at home, but they cliqued well as friends. Alex and myself immediately became close, me being pregnant he instantly took me under his wing. He thought of me as a little sister. He however didn’t support my decision of not letting John know he had not one but two children. He tried to guilt me into telling John, by using the “I didn’t have a dad growing up and as a boy it was hard”.

A few times I almost broke, but I didn’t. John was at the peak of his career, and I wasn’t going to impose on his life by dropping a bomb of him being the father of my kids. It wouldn’t be easy to tell him either, I couldn't just call him up and be like "oh by the way you’re a father". He’d have probably just thought I was some crazy fan and not have believed any word I would have said to him. In some aspects I thought it was best for the twins if he didn’t know. Being in a famous band that means paparazzi would be constantly following him around. I would rather my children grow up without a proper father instead of their lives being taped and photographed from such a young age. I wanted them to have a normal life, and John couldn’t give them that.

I let out a sigh, as I snapped back into reality. I let out a small chuckle when I looked down at Jayden. He somehow managed to get the bowl on his head and was banging the spoon against the table of the high chair. When he noticed I was paying attention he began to clap his chubby hands together saying ‘mama’. My heart swelled a little as he called me, Jenny first word was dad but Jayden’s was the opposite. I knew from that moment he said mama instead of dad he would be my little mama boy.

I took the bowl off of his head and unhooked the bib from around his neck placing it on the table. As I picked him out of the high chair I looked over at Emily, to see that she had already finished feeding Jenny and she now bouncing my baby lightly on her knee. I stood up from the wooden kitchen chair I was sitting on placing Jayden on my right hip before I turned my attention to Emily.

"Can you change Jen for me while I change Jay?" I asked her.

"Sure" She nodded, holding a still giggling Jenny.

We made our way out of the kitchen and towards the staircase that lead to the upstairs bedrooms. When we reached the second floor I could hear my phone ringing from my room. Emily continued towards the twin’s bedroom while I made a beeline to my room to pick up my phone before the person calling ended the call. I quickly made my way over to my bedroom and grabbed my cell phone off of my bed. When I glanced at my phone screen, I couldn’t feel my hands start to shake. It wasn’t possible I changed my number when I left Phoenix. He was one of the people I was trying to ignore, how was this possible. I blink a few times hoping that the name showing wasn’t true, but it didn’t change it still said,

calling: Kennedy Brock