Status: Work in progress
Sincerely Yours.
Eight.
March 9th, 2017.
Dear Jack,
I often think about other ways I could have reacted that day. Things I could have said or done to try make you understand how sorry I really was. How sorry I am, that it meant nothing. But all I could do was watch, dumbfounded as you slowly stood up, not once taking your eyes off mine, told me never to try contact you again and left.
That wasn't the last time I saw you but it may as well have been. We tried to continue the band but the spark was gone and eventually we went our separate ways.
Zack went to concentrate on his photography and Rian settled down to start a family with Cassadee.
I still see both of them now and again but our friendship is stiff and stale. The easy flow of jokes and banter is gone. We're just a group of men drifting towards being middle aged. I try to casually ask them about you, imply that it's not that much of a big deal and we just happened to drift apart. They always look at me the same way, like I'm a lost pet that they feel bad for but I don't want to help in case they can't get rid of me. They both have steady lives, I have nothing. Just Sebastian and me in a small flat. I sell things online every now and then to make a living, the fans still care, bless them. The guys just see me as a desperate mess, I guess that's what I am. They say they don't blame me for what happened but I know they do. How could they not? It's one hundred percent my fault.
I will never forgive myself.
Yours sincerely,
Alex.
Dear Jack,
I often think about other ways I could have reacted that day. Things I could have said or done to try make you understand how sorry I really was. How sorry I am, that it meant nothing. But all I could do was watch, dumbfounded as you slowly stood up, not once taking your eyes off mine, told me never to try contact you again and left.
That wasn't the last time I saw you but it may as well have been. We tried to continue the band but the spark was gone and eventually we went our separate ways.
Zack went to concentrate on his photography and Rian settled down to start a family with Cassadee.
I still see both of them now and again but our friendship is stiff and stale. The easy flow of jokes and banter is gone. We're just a group of men drifting towards being middle aged. I try to casually ask them about you, imply that it's not that much of a big deal and we just happened to drift apart. They always look at me the same way, like I'm a lost pet that they feel bad for but I don't want to help in case they can't get rid of me. They both have steady lives, I have nothing. Just Sebastian and me in a small flat. I sell things online every now and then to make a living, the fans still care, bless them. The guys just see me as a desperate mess, I guess that's what I am. They say they don't blame me for what happened but I know they do. How could they not? It's one hundred percent my fault.
I will never forgive myself.
Yours sincerely,
Alex.
♠ ♠ ♠
this is going somewhere i promise