Seemed So Far

I crawled off of Garrett's sleeping figure and went into the shower. I walked back into my moms room and grabbed a different black skirt and a striped gray and white shirt. I felt hands on my waist and jumped, turning around to face Garrett. 

"Jesus, Gar" I breathed out.

He chuckled, "Sorry."

I shook my head, smiling. He leaned down, bringing his lips to mine.

"I have to get ready, and so do you," I poked his bare stomach.

"I like you better like that," he smirked.

I laughed and kissed him again before going back to the bathroom. I brushed my hair then my teeth. I decided not to put on any mascara because I would be crying today. I was putting my mother in the ground. I didn't want to look like complete shit.

I walked back into the bedroom to see Garrett having trouble with his tie. I laughed and put my towel down, walking over to help him.

"Trouble?" I teased.

"Shut up," he smiled. He watched my face while I concentrated on his tie. I looked up at him and blushed. He chuckled, kissing my forehead. I looked back down and finished with his tie. 

I walked downstairs and found Kennedy sitting on the couch in his suit.

"You look beautiful," he commented.

"Ken, I'm putting my mother in the ground. But thank you." 

He smiled and stood up to kiss my cheek.

The rest of the boys walked out of the kitchen, giving me soft smiles.

We left ten minutes later, we stopped at the plaza near my house and got bagels at Brugger's. I use to come to the plaza all the time. There was a trail to it right by my house.

We arrived at the New Commer Cannon five minutes to nine. Garrett held my hand as we walked in. We all walked into the room where my mom was and I sat with Garrett in the front row, the guys behind us. 

I sighed, staring at her. I could feel Garrett look at me but I didn't turn towards him. He rubbed circles into my palm and I laid my head on his shoulder. 

Soon, people started coming in and sitting down. I felt Garrett turn his head to look over next to me and I felt someone grab my other hand. I looked up at my dad.

"Hey," I smiled.

He kissed my temple.

We waited an hour for more people to come in. Garrett nudged me with his shoulder and stood up, bringing me with him.

We got in the car, following the person in front of us. Jared drove this time and Garrett and I sat in the way back. I laid my back against him as he brought his arm around my shoulders. He still held my hand, playing with my fingers.

I watched the small buildings and fast food restaurants pass by and watched the car turn and felt the road become a little bumpy.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. This was actually happening. I was saying goodbye to my mom forever. I didn't want to say goodbye. I hated goodbyes. My mom knew that. Everyone I knew, knew that but they still continued to leave me and say goodbye.

We got out of the car and Garrett squeezed my hand. 

I didn't want to do this. I was considering getting back in the car and driving all the way back to Arizona. But I stayed next to Garrett. I was so thankful for having him there, more than he will ever know. I was thankful for all of the guys. For Kennedy, for him listening to me. For Pat, for making me laugh. For Jared, for being a friend. For John, for being a big protective brother. For Garrett, for liking me for me. For always being there even in the toughest situation that I was in now. It was then and there that I realized something.

My dad appeared at my side, kissing my temple again. I smiled, grabbing his arm and walking with him and Garrett to where my mom was being buried. They had everything set up, the green fake, plastic grass and the beams with the straps to lower the casket down. They handed out flowers and I grabbed two. One to put on top of her and one to take with me.

The burial started and I stood close to Garrett, the guys were right next to my dad. I could've sworn that I saw them crying. I felt the lump grow bigger and I looked to my left behind Garrett and looked at where my grandma was. I reminded myself to go over there and say hi to her and my Uncle Tony. A blonde girl caught my attention, standing in between a boy with dark hair and a girl with dirty blonde hair. 

I turned my attention back to Father and focused on his words.

He finished his speech and everyone reached forward, putting the flowers on my mother and then leaving. I watched the boys go up, putting their flowers on and saying their goodbyes. I bit my lip. My dad was next, kissing his hand and touching the casket. I felt a tear slip out from my eye and he turned towards me, kissing my forehead. Garrett and I were the only ones next to her and I breathed out, stepping forward with him. He put his flower on the casket and I saw him wipe at his eye. I let another tear fall out. He turned toward me and kissed my temple, stepping a few feet away. I looked at the casket and felt my eyes water even more. I took a shaky step forward and laid my flower on her. I let more tears fall and I let out a silent sob.

"I love you mom," I whispered.

I leaned down and kissed the casket where her head was. I leaned back up and took a step backwards. I moved my hand out behind me and felt Garrett's hand slip into mine. I squeezed it tight, not letting my grip up. I stepped back again and wrapped my other arm around his bicep. I stopped my tears, remembering my moms words and looked up to see the blonde girl still standing there. I saw the little boy come out from behind her and realized who it was. I felt another lump and more tears and let go of Garrett, running toward my sisters.

I wrapped both of my arms around them and hugged them tight, trying not to cry out.

"Hey Mar," Haley said. Krystal hugged me tight. "We missed you." 

I let them go and looked over at Keif, and hugged Haley's boyfriend.

I smiled at him and looked down at Cade, my baby boy. I picked him up and he hugged me tight. "Aunt Marin!"

"Hi hun," I laughed.

He let me go and I set him back down. I looked behind me and saw Garrett. "Guys," I sniffed. "This is my boyfriend Garrett" I smiled at him. "Gar, this is Krystal, Haley, Keif, and Cade." He shook their hands and gave Cade a high five. I smiled at him.

I hugged my sisters when they had to leave and gave Cade a kiss on the forehead.

I walked over to my grandmother quick and said hi to her and Uncle Tony. He died before I was born, he got shot when he went to a bar and I never knew him. But he was really handsome. Especially in his wedding picture, but that was the only picture I saw of him beside when he was a baby.

I got in the car and Jared drove back to the house. 

I changed out of my clothes and packed my bag, only taking out my pajamas to change into and clothes for tomorrow.

The boys decided to order take out and Pat paid for it when it came. We all ate, laughing at the jokes passed around and watching the football game that was on. I decided to go to bed early, seeing that we had to wake up at five tomorrow for our flight if we wanted to get back home before noon.

I talked to my dad about him getting all of my moms things and selling the house for me since I wouldn't be there to do it.

The opening of the bedroom door caught my attention and I turned my head from my phone to Garrett. He smiled at me before going to his suitcase and getting out basketball shorts and a white shirt. I watched him change and put his clothes back in his suitcase, zipping it closed. 

I set my phone down and watched Garrett flick the switch next to the door. I laughed when he climbed over me, not wanting to go around the bed in the dark.

He stopped and laid on me, his face inches from mine.

"Hi," he laughed, his breath blowing on my face.

"Hi," I giggled.

He leaned forward and kissed me, putting his hands on either side of my face. I kissed him back and he pulled away. He smiled and pecked my lips before laying on me, making me turn my head so his nose was touching my jaw. 

I swallowed, biting my lip and moving so he lifted his head and looked at me, confused.

"What?" He asked.

I bit my lip harder. I almost gave up on what I was going to say but I spit it out.

"I love you," I whispered. I looked him in the eyes, afraid he was going to get up and leave or just disappear right in front of me. But he just smiled and leaned forward again, kissing me harder.

"I love you too," he leaned his forehead against mine, smiling like crazy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"And I wanted to thank you for being there today."

"Anytime, you know I wouldn't leave you," he said. I kissed him again before he laid his head down again, and fell asleep.