Humans, Are Such Nasty Things

"No," I said with a tone of finality at the person standing outside my door at six in the fucking morning.
"Why?" he groaned childishly.
"Edward, no," I said closing the door but he stopped it with his foot.
"But I'd already said you'd go!" he groaned even more.
"Too bad," I said simply, "I'm not babysitting your little human girlfriend."
"Aw come now! It'll probably just be for a few hours, and who knows? You might just have fun!"
"No," I said after looking him in the eyes for a few seconds. My brain didn't process info at a fast speed in the morning.

Edward was trying to send me to the beach to watch over Bella. Bella alone is manageable, but no. She has, Lauren, Jessica, Eric, Angela Mike and Blaire tagging alone. No, fuck no, I'm not into the drama today. I was actually going to be a good girl and take my Saturday to study that Chemistry test I have so that I won't fail so hard.

"PLEASE!" he pleaded giving me puppy dog eyes.
"Why don't you just go?!" I stamped my foot, getting miserable, "the sun isn't going to be out! No one will see your faggy sparkles!"
"Yeahhh, about that," he leaned on the door frame, "I'm not really allowed there."
"Got caught taking photos of girls as they change?" I did my best to grin despite my still being in zombie mode.
"Oh will you quit with that!" he said, irked, "No, it's because I'm a vampire. My family isn't allowed on Quileute land. It's because they're - "
"Werewolves," I finished.
"How did you know?" he asked astonished.
"Oh I had a dream, that wasn't really a dream but Esme talking that day when Rose, Em and I went to Port Angeles."
"I heard you slapped Sam," he smiled.
"Yeah, I did," I stretched and as my mind grew more alert, I felt that there was no hope in me going back to sleep despite my body screaming for it, "What is it they want with me?"
"We're wondering that ourselves," Edward said looking out in the forest, "We can't exactly stroll over and ask since our kinds aren't the most amicable to one another."
"And why is that?"
"Well werewolves are the protectors of human-kind, and us being vampires, it's all to be expected," he explained somewhat absently.

"Well regardless, that's not important at the moment. Tell me, will you go with Bella?" Edward's golden eyes sparkled with girlish anticipation, it was sickening and made me cringe.
"Look, who says I even have beach clothes," I continued to argue.
"Oh I expected that," he said in a matter-of-fact manner taking, out a bag from nowhere, "That's why I took the liberty of buying you this."

He pulled out a pink one piece with white polka dots and a string that tied at the neck. And on top of that, it was backless too. There was no way I was going to expose my blue markings.

"You really are a pervert aren't you," I said sneering at the swim suit, "You just want me to parade around in that thing just for laughs huh? Quileute land? Bullshit. I bet you and Emmet are going be in the forest taking pictures of me looking like an idiot in the girly girl thing."
"What's wrong with it?" he said looking on it, "I thinks it's really cute."
"Edward, darling," I said sweetly, "Can you even see me in this?! IN WHAT MESSED UP PART OF YOUR FROZEN IN TIME BRAIN GAVE YOU THE IDEA THAT I WOULD EVEN -!" I sighed, frustrated.

Edward looked on me confused.

"Go," I said calmly, putting my hand on the door knob, "Just - just go, I -I can't take all this yelling in the early morning. Leave me alone, just go. Now, leave."
"Check back with you an hour later?" he asked before the door was completely closed.
"Make it two," then I slammed the door.

"Dumb vampire," I slid to the floor on my knees and rested my head on the door.
Kisa crawled up to me and licked my foot. Oh well at least you won't piss me off.

And he came back a few moments shy of 45 minutes.

"Have you made up your mind? Will you go? Huh? Will you? Will you please?"
"LEAVE!" I roared pointing at the door.
"But but but -!" Edward stammered.
"NO!" I pushed him in the direction of the door, "Edward you are pissing me off!"
"But they're leaving ten thirty and you still -!" he continued when he was out of my house.
"Edward have you seen me go in full bitch mode?! HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN ME GET TO MY MAXIMUM LIMIT OF CRAP?!"
"No, but-"
"Shut the fuck up," I sneered, lifting a hand to the center of my forehead, " 'CAUSE I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!"
"BUT-!"
"No," I said simply as I slammed the door in his face.

"GWEN!" I heard Edward's voice 20 minutes later from my bedroom window, "GWEEEEEEN!"
"OH GET RUN OVER BY A 18 WHEELER!" I shouted back at him.
"That won't stop me!" he said in a sing song voice.
I made an attempt to spit in his face, but missed. He ran off chuckling

I was reading the newspaper. Apparently someone had died leaving no trace of evidence. It was a little away from Seattle. I was so engrossed in the story that I hadn't heard his invisible voice saying.

"Have you decided now?"
"Oh just kill me," I moaned putting my hand to my forehead.
"Kill you? Sure," Edward smiled then grabbed my arm, "but after you watch Bella for me."
"Urgh," I groaned unenthusiastically as he dragged me up stairs to my bedroom.
"Here are your clothes," he said throwing me a shopping bag, "You're picking up Bella and Angela."
I stared back at him wordless, in perfect annoyance.
"Thanks!" he grinned the closed the door so I could change.

"And that's how I got here," I concluded my story to a hermit crab who was crawling to nowhere.
"Who are you talking to?" Bella asked me as she walked up to the sea where I was.
"No one," i said standing up and letting the sea breeze flow through my hair.
"HEY YOU GUYS!" Angela called out to us making us both turn, "COME HELP!"
"Coming!" Bella sprinted over and I was just her lazy wake.
"You!" A familiar voice said as I was near to the cars.
"You!" I spun around and spat in the person's face recognizing the voice.

"You two know each other?" a boy on Sam's left said.
"She's the one who...." Paul said tapping his cheek.
"Oh!" The boy said in realization, "This little thing?" He stuck his large thumb at me. He was like Sam and Paul. Same russet skin, same large body, same high cheek bones, same full lips. There was only two things about him that was different. His hair was worn long where Paul and Sam had a low cut and his deep set black eyes had a playful innocence to them.

"I mean no offense to you!" the boy said quickly then laughed, "but I mean, come on, I could snap you like a twig."
"Jacob!" Bella's voice rang out happily.
"HEY BELLS!" Jacob ran over to Bella leaving me and the two large men.

"What do you want with me?" I said when Jacob was out of hearing distance.
"You slap the Alpha you bitch! Then you have the nerve to-!" Paul said walking towards me but the Sam stopped him, still looking me dead in the eyes.
"Stay, puppy," I smirked looking on Paul in an arrogant all knowing manner.
Anger wiped away from Paul's face, revealing a face of shock, then one of acceptance. "You know."
"yes," I said.
"And them? Have they told you?" Sam tilted his head in the direction of the forest and I knew that he was talking about the Cullens.
"Yes," I said.

"What are you?" Sam asked, making confusion his dominate feature.
"How many time has that question been repeated," I looked up to the grey sky, "Do the questioners believe that they will eve get an answer? Even that question keep the subject of it up at night. What am I indeed. I have no clue. Do you you know what I am?"
"Dumb ass!" Paul scoffed, "We wouldn't be asking if -"
I glared down at him and he shut up.

"So you know what they are, those leeches," Sam said.
"That's right,"
"But aren't you afraid?" he said incredulous.
"I should be, shouldn't I?" I said feeling dreamily, "But for some reason, I just feel equal. Strange, isn't it?"
"It won't be so strange when we find your dead bloody body at the feet of one of those over grown mosquitoes," Paul muttered.

The thought frightened me in a way. I imagined Little Alice with blood stained arms in a ripped dress. With her eyes being rubies instead of gold and red liquid running down her lips. It seemed possible yet unbelievable, completely out of character.

"Hey don't bully her so much!" Jacob yelled strolling over to us slowly with Bella laughing by his side.
"He isn't a werewolf, so keep your mouth shut girl!" Paul snarled at me.
"Down boy," I chuckled silently.

"I wish Edward was here though," Bella sighed longingly, "I wonder why he ducked out."
"The Cullens don't come here!" Paul spat at Bella. Wow, and I'm supposed to be the one who keeps their mouth shut.
"Let's go," Sam said to Paul and the two of them ran off.

"What was that all about?" Bella looked in the direction Sam and Paul ran off to.
"Weelll," Jacob hesitated, running his fingers through his hair, "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Come on Jake you know me," Bella insisted.
"It's.....Kinda a tribe secret," Jacob said, his eyes darting to me for a small second. Bella noticed.
"Oh Gwen, she's my friend," Bella said looking on me, "don't worry she can keep a secret."
"That's right, it'll be like you never told me," I said.
"Hnnm, okay," he said after a second, "looking at your eyes you seem to like the occult and stuff like that."
"Actually, this is my natural colour," I said, the realized all three of us were walking.
"Really," he said shocked but still keeping his cool, "that's kinda awesome."
"If you say so," I shrugged.

He them proceed to tell us about how his people were to be descended from wolves. And the Cold Ones who threatened the existence of humans who they were bound by nature to protect. And of a treaty, that allowed the Cold Ones to be in the area so longs as they abstain from biting, not killing, humans and stay off Quiluete territory. He then said that it was believed that the Cullens were descendants of the Cold Ones. I of course knew that they were the same persons.

We three were sitting on a large piece of drift-wood. Bella was, at first, bombarding Jacob with questions which he skillfully avoided and eventually, they began talking about their days as children. I sat looking out to sea. Thinking of many things. My sister who celebrated her tenth birthday and could not leave the room. And even if she did, she could not see the red roses that she adored so much. My past danced around in my mind a few times. Those disgusting things that were done to me, the shun I received at school, how hard it was to balance everything when there was no stability, saying 'Bye Bye!' to my mother ignorant of the fact that it would be my last words to her. And even this situation made it into my thoughts. The situation that I'm now in. Why does a werewolf tribe covet me so much?

My mind went back to my sister. My poor, cute little sister, crippled and blind. According to Carlisle, her condition was stable. In a way, I hated that. She wasn't getting worse, yet at the same time, she wasn't getting better. But I also remembered the past. I remembered the days when she couldn't sit up, the day when I had to feed her soup while holding her head so she would choke, the days where I would spend hours upon hours by her bedside, reading to her, singing with her, talking with her, watching her holding her. The days when I was so cold and empty, except for that little girl who kept me going who kept me struggling to exist, who was my only reason. My reason to live was to protect her. How selfless, and at the same time, how selfish.

Selfless of me, to live not for myself. Selfish of me, to use her life to sustain my own. To keep her clutching to the spider thread which is her life, that will bring her in a world, this world, that is full of many sad and cruel thing. And where many times its seems that the though called, 'happiness' is just a fool's dream. Why should I make her be my reason? Why should I give her that burden, even if she may not notice? Why do I have to be so selfish? Why should I want so much? Why am I so, disgraceful?

"UP YOU GO!" I didn't even notice when Eric and Mike came up behind me. They lifted me by my arms and legs and ran out with me to the sea.
"NO! LET GO OF ME!" I squirmed.
"That's no fun!" Eric protested.
"Yeah! Lets see why kind of swim suit you're wearing under that shirt!" Mike joined in.
Of course I was wearing a shirt. I wasn't going to expose myself like that.
"LET ME GO!" I screamed some more, "I'LL KILL YOU! LET ME GO!" Some where close to me, I heard laughter which I immediately picked out as Lauren, Jessica and Blaire. They had something to do with this.

"Man, you're loud," Eric chuckled.
"SO LET ME GO!" I twisted myself trying to get free.
"Let you go?" Mike said, "Sure! One, two." And the two of the threw me in the sea.
"NO!" I screamed when I was in the air, "I can't - "

SPLASH. I was surrounded by water. My mouth was open and I just couldn't close it. 'Is this how I was going to go?' I thought as I sank down, 'Drowned by the likes of them. It can't be true. Unacceptable.'
My chest felt heavy and I felt dizzy. Is this really the end?
'No, I won't die. I won't die by the hands of those fools. Impossible.' Those words were my last thoughts before every thing went black.

*******************

"What kind of Hell is this?" I said aloud, surrounded by water. It was like the ocean from 'Finding Nemo' It was so pretty. The sun was shining above, making everything below look bright, crisp and beautiful. I couldn't see myself, I couldn't understand this setting. If I'm dead, I'm surely in Hell. But, what kind of Hell is this?

My attention was brought to something, I was looking on something. On a coral reef was a dining room chair. It looked like Victorian design. On it was a little girl, sitting with her eyes closed and adorned in white, looking like a marble statue. Her long, thick dark brown hair was in motion in accordance to the gentle flow of the water. Her nose looked small compared to her chubby cheeks, the colour of peonies and her small, unsmiling lips, were like raspberries. Her hands were placed gently on her lap, giving them a very delicate appearance. Her head was slightly titled down and her face was calm. It almost fave you a serene feeling, just looking on her. She appeared to be sleeping. Even though, she wasn't breathing.

Her eyes slowly opened, revealing the gentle wisteria I knew was there. Back then, my eyes haven't gone to the deep amethyst that they are now. Slowly, my child self turned to me. Her eyes still barely open. She slid off her chair and seemed to be walking toward me in the water. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and pain was evident on her face. Her small chest jumped twice, as if she was receiving lashes on her back. I understood why. Her eyes went dark and she crumpled, but instead of sinking she fell as if she was on a hard surface. And that girl who I once was, faded away.

As she faded, another me came. She was in the uniform of the Catholic school I attended. I remeber it well. A simple red blazer with the schools emblem on it, a white blouse underneath with a black necktie and a navy blue skirt. This me was shackled to the chair. Her hair was long at first, then with a harsh movement of the sea it was gone. Her hair was too short to make any type of movement. I kinda understood now, when people said I looked like a boy.

She was sitting in the same disdainful position the first me was in. This current me looked up and glasses as well as a peaceful smile appeared on her face. She was still in shackles. Then, she turned her head in my direction, looking like she just noticed me there. Her eyes half open, as if waking from a dream that meant everything. Her mouth ope wide as if she was screaming and her eyes were now shut tight with pain. She was convulsing and blood ran down her neck and all over her clothes. Her head flew back and her eyes were dilated with fear. Then, they too went dark and her head gently tilted downward as if nothing happened. She too, vanished.

I moved toward the chair, or the chair moved toward me. I knew it would be my turn. As I was in the chair my mind was blank. I was shackled too, but with much more chains. I couldn't tell what I was wearing as my eyes closed and I took in all these emotions. Pain, joy, peace, uncertainty, realization, annoyance, peace again, happiness, fear, anger, devastation, regret, sadness, caution, fear again, abandonment, anger again, pain again, sadness again, confusion, loneliness, sadness, anger again, fear, denial, extreme denial. Then sadness and pain, sadness and pain, sadness and pain and anger, completely intertwined with one another. Always apart of each other, always behind another, like a cycle. And then, I felt great sadness, then great anger, then great pain, and finally, nothing. I felt death.

'What's this, between my fingers?' I thought, my eyes still closed, 'It feels like sand, but it isn't wet."
"ONE TWO THREE!" I heard above me and with each count, I felt my chest being pushed down. Then warm lips touched mine and breathed inside of me. "HANG IN THERE!"

I turned my head to the side. Was I going to die soon? Were those feelings that I felt, feelings that were to come?
"ONE TWO THREE!"
No, before I go back, I must see the future me that is to succeed me.
"COME BACK TO US!"
I must open my eyes.
"ONE TWO THREE!"
I must......
"DON'T DIE HERE!"
My quick glance lasted for a few seconds, my eyes were barely open. I wasn't going to die so soon. There was another girl there, dressed in white robes, and she was me. She looked happy, she looked so beautiful.
"OPEN YOUR EYES!" Sam yelled over me and my eyes shot open wide. Naturally, my body tried hard to get the air I was deprived of and because of that, I coughed out a lot of water. All around me were sighs of relief and Sam help me get back up on my feet.

"You fine?" he asked gently.
"Y-yeah," I said, letting him help steady me.
"Oh thank God," Angela said putting her hand on her chest, "I really thought we'd lost you."
"You dumb asses! What the fuck were you thinking?!" Paul yelled at Mike and Eric who held their heads in shame.
"I swear to God," I walked over to them, "If I died, I would have haunted you til you joined me in Hell!" I slapped both of them across the face with the back of my hand.
"Ouch," Sam cringed playfully.

"Look," Eric said holding his jaw, "It wasn't our idea."
"That's right! It was Lauren!" Mike pipped in.
"And I suppose if Lauren said to jump off a fucking bridge you just follow suit huh?" Paul glared at them.
"You're lucky as hell that she's alive and you two aren't being arrested for murder," Jacob spat
At this, Mike and Eric, shut up and rubbed their jaws.

"It's not my fault that she almost died," Lauren flipped her hair but did not have the grace that Rosalie had, "who the hell goes to the beach and can't swim. Ridiculous."
"Th-that's right!" Jessica said, although it was obvious that she was terrified at what almost happened, "Only a fool would - "
Paul glared at her and she was silent.
"She almost DIED!" Bella yelled at them, "And that's all you have to say! Don't you asses know anything about the value of life!"

"And you!" Jacob narrowed his eyes at Blaire.
"Me?" She said in innocence, batting her eyes.
"Yes you!" Jacob spat, "What's wrong with you? Don't you have any decency in you?! Why in God's name would you take pictures of Gwen as she's dying?! THAT'S SICK! The only reason we didn't stop you was because Gwen was far more important.!"

"Oh the pics will look so good on the net!" Blaire squealed as Lauren chuckled darkly.
"Camera," I said.
"What?" Blaire acted as if she didn't hear me.
"Where is the camera?!" I hissed.
"Oh you mean this?" she said sweetly.

One second the pink Kodak was in her hands, the next second it was in my hand. I swung my arm as far as it could go without me falling over. Then I pushed myself forward along with my arm, releasing the camera, far far out to sea, all the way over the horizon.

At first there was a short silence as everyone stared in the direction I sent the camera flying. They were awestruck and Blaire's arms were limp, her jaw went slack and her eyes, unbelieving. The first persons to make a noise were the Quiluetes. All three of them were doubled over in laughter and I saw Paul wipe a tear away from his eye. Bella crossed her arms and looked satisfied. Angela, Mike and Eric were having a hard time covering up their snickering. Lauren simply scoffed and Jessica blinked profusely. Me, I was just indifferent. The pictures on that camera were on insult to my pride, so I got rid of it. Simple.

"YOU BITCH!" Blaire shrieked at me. I grabbed her red pigtails down so she was on eye level with me. I glared at her. I glared just like ow I glare on my first day at school to that Biology teacher. I put my lips close to her ears and whispered softly.

"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't come near me. Don't think about me. Because you are nothing. And you'll never be anything. You are just a pebble in my shoe, so get out."

I let her go. She gazed at me with eyes that were dead, yet alive with fear. I smiled up at her.

"Bella," I turned to Bella, "I've had enough. This is really boring now. I'm going home. You need a lift."
"Sure," she nodded.
"Angela ?" I asked.
"N-no," she stammered, "Tha-that's alright."
"Well then," I turned to Sam and Paul, "Stay."