Humans, Are Such Nasty Things

I stared at her laying limp in the bed. A machine breathing for her, her eyes closed. Carlisle said that she would be coming around soon but, the pain in my chest was unbearable. It was Wednesday, I've been here since the day I got the call. Nandaleah, my sister.

"Gwen!" Cayden walked in the room, the nurse in the doorway rolled her eyes before leaving us.
"Yeah?" I turned to him, feeling dead, "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at school?"
"School?" He looked confused, then her turned his gaze to Nandaleah, "Alice told me what happened. Why didn't you tell me? I could have been there for you!"
"I didn't need you here." I felt my arms trembling. I don't know why I was lying to him. I don't know why I felt so angry with him and why I was talking so coldly to him. I just wanted to be left in this beautiful silence.

"Look, I don't see why you're so angry," Cayden said a bit more calm than I expected, "All I want to do is help."
I ignored him. It wasn't you Cayden, it was all the fresh memories and the chaos inside me.
"Gwen?" He said. I stared at my sister's unmoving body.
"Why don't you let me in. I'll try to help as much as I can. Even if it's just by staying with you." He sighed.
I remained in my silence.
"It's not just Nandaleah right?" He asked, "You wouldn't be acting like that."
I flinched a bit at his alertness.
"I'm right aren't I?" He stooped down, "Tell me. I'll always be there for you."
"You can't help." I whispered, slightly surprised by the hoarseness of my voice.
"Gwen," He said so tender that I had to turn. I found his face to be very close to mine. He slid his hand up my jawline and very gently lifted my chin.

As he leaned in closer, his lips slightly parted, I felt my heart racing and terror was building up inside me. His warm breath that smelled like tic-tac washed over my face, freezing me up on the inside. Our lips had just touched when I said something.

"N-no," My voice cracked, a little higher than usual.
Cayden furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips. He was thinking because I had never yet denied him. His green eyes pierced in my purple ones and his gaze was so intense that I wanted to cry. He glanced at my body for half a second then back in my eyes. His forehead rested on mine and I could feel the heat from his body .

"Are you cold? You're trembling like a leaf," He slid his hands down my arms.
"Don't touch me!" I almost screamed. He jumped back and put his palms up to his face.
"Sorry," I turned from him and looked at my hand, balled up in fist on my lap. My eyes were burning and I could feel the tears coming.

I'm really sorry Cayden, but it's not you. None of it is. It's not your face I'm seeing, it's the face of a thousand other men. it's not your touch I'm feeling, it's the touch of a thousand other men, it's not your warmth I'm feeling, I'm feeling the icy touch of a thousand other men. And it not your comforting voice I'm hearing it is the taunt of the High Priest and A. Thousand. Other. Men. I bit my lip in an effort not to cry.

Then, the impossible.

"Are you alright?" Her voice sounded muffled. My head snapped up and I stared in her apple green eyes that I had not seen in an eternity. They had a certain, innocent look to them.

"Hey kiddo," Cayden said gently and a smile was in his voice, "You gave us quite a scare there."
Nandaleah turned to him confused and I was still trying to catch my breath.
"Na-Nan," My eyes started tearing up and a smile crept its way up on my face, "Nandaleah!" I managed to get out and I gently hugged her.

"I'm so glad!" I cried holding her tighter, "Get Carlisle, Cayden."
"No need," Carlisle voice sounded but it was sad for some reason.
"Nandaleah!" I cried while laughing. Her hand toucehd my back.
"Where's my mommy?" her voice sounded small.
My breathing stopped for a while and I was confused. What is she talking about? She KNOWS that Rachel is, well, dead. Then she said something that really broke my heart.

"And - um - who are you?"

And just like that, I was dead.

***************************************

I sat in my bed at home. The word 'Disgraceful' no longer haunted me. All I heard around me was 'Who are you?' Who are you? Don't joke with me Nandaleah! That isn't funny! What do you mean who am I? It's me! It's Gwen! You know, your big sister! Your best friend! Your guardian, your protector! The one who took care of you since Rachel died.

And Rachel is dead! 'Where's my mommy?' I may as well BE your mommy! I'll be anything for you! I am everything for you! How could you forget me?! Why did you forget me?! NO! THIS IN UNACCEPTABLE! NO! NO! NO! NO!

"Gwen?" Alice opened my bedroom door letting in the light.
"I'm not going to school today," I hugged my knees a bit tighter.
"Please," compassion was in her eyes.
"Are you worried?
"Yeah," She walked over to me, "She still loves you,, and she still needs you."
"she doesn't need me," I grumbled, "That old bastard's here now."

Orville was here now too, not in my house though but, according to Carlisle he had to be contacted. No matter how hard I tried to tell him that I was Nandaleah's immediate relative, he said that even still, him being there could aid in restoring her memory that was lost because of the stroke.

"Pish-posh!" Alice sat on my bed and waved her hand. "That's just temporary! She'll remember soon enough! She'll remember how much she loves you, because she never stopped loving you."
"Are you sure she'll remember?" I asked turning to her.
"Um, magical psychic vampire. Duh!" she pointed to her head and crossed her eyes.
I chuckled and she pinched my cheek.
"That's the smile I was waiting for!" she smirked.

"For you Alice," I rolled my eyes, "But I won't make it in time for school"
"Please!" she got up and looked at me like a just said something stupid and cute, "I'm Alice Cullen."

Within a few short minutes, Alice had bathed me, (yes bathed me) brushed my teeth, did my hair, dressed me (in heels that I could not walk in) and did my make up which I begged her to not apply. at one point I glanced down and realized that the liquid eye-liner she used on me, was the same brand that Cayden used. Cayden. I had to take today to apologise to him for yesterday. It wasn't his fault, none of it was. I was just being a bitch. God, I'm a bad person!

"Aw crap!" Alice stepped out and her skin transformed into diamonds. Sunlight.
"Magical psychic vampire, huh?" I rolled my eyes and unlocked my car.
"Sorry," she smiled apologetically.
"yeah, sure," I said. I drove off. Starlight by Muse was playing. This was the song that Cayden had been forcing me to listen to and to tell the truth, I fucking adored this song.

"Far away," I sang, "this ship is taking me far away. Far away from the memories, of the people who'd care if I live or die. Starlight. I will be chasing a starlight, until the end of my life. I don't know if it's worth it anymore. Hold you in my arms. I just wanted to hold you in my arms."

I bet Cayden just wanted to hold me. Comfort me. All I did was make him feel bad.

I slammed the car door. My Jansport hung off my left shoulder and I felt ridiculous hearing the annoying 'CLICK! CLICK!' of my heels on the pavement. At school I didn't see Cayden, and Paige was still sick, and well the fucking sun decided to pop out today so no Cullens, Bella's off leaching on her 'friends' who suddenly exist now that her 'glorious beyond fantabulous' boyfriend is M.I.A.

'Well fuck my life' I thought as I played with the applesauce while I was in the cafeteria at lunch, 'I'm all alone'
"Look who finally found her way back to school," An annoying voice rang out behind me. Lauren.
I looked her up and down and said, "Look who can finally afford even Wal-Mart clothes."
"Ha ha, that's cute!" she said with venom in her voice.
"What?" I hissed at her.
"You actually think you can defend yourself," Blaire snorted on Lauren's left with Jessica chuckling on her right.
"Oh I see!" I smiled, "You think because Rosalie isn't here, you can push me around!"
The three girls scoffed and rolled their eyes.

I laughed a bit before saying, "Sad mistake. I'm telling you from now, don't fuck with me, you ignorant, narcissistic monkey."
A few students who were sitting near me chuckled. I saw Lauren take a quick glance to the left the back at me.

"Your blouse is cute," Lauren said to me. On the inside I was confused, on the outside, I was expressionless.
"What designer is that?" she asked after a moment in silence.
"Does it even matter? You wouldn't be able to afford it. Or maybe corner sluts get more pay than I thought?" was my reply. As I was speaking a boy came up to Lauren and gave her her lunch. Lauren raised an eyebrow at me as if she was considering what I said.

Then in an instant, there was spaghetti all in my hair and all over my blouse. My eyes popped open in shock and disbelief and for a moment, I literally could not move. Lauren took this opportunity to rub the sauce all over my chest and blouse.
"How bout it Wendy?" she stood akimbo, looking at me with a grin, "Think I can afford it now?"

The entire student body turned to see exactly why Jessica and Blaire were doubled over in laughter. First it was the staring, then the furrowing of eyebrows, then the realization, so next is the pointing, snickering, full blown-laughter.

I glared at Lauren and growled lowly. This wasn't like a normal growl. This was like an animal's growl. I bared my teeth and my nostrils were flared. There was something inside of me that stirred and it felt good. It felt angry and hot. But existing in spite of the anger - or maybe even because of - was a choking sadness. And it was to the sadness, I lost.

I grabbed my bag and pushed past Lauren. Her smirk was far to much and the sound of the laughter was drowning me. As I stormed out of the cafeteria, angry, warm tears were streaming down my face and my breathing was raged, Thankfully, I didn't encounter anyone in the hall.

I dove in the nearest bathroom, no one was in here. Fucking good. I slid down to the floor. I breathed hard and it was anger that won out now. I growled freely now, and my body felt hot. I heard the toilet flush. Well damn I thought I was alone.

I shut up a bit and stayed unnoticed for a while. She threw her red hair over her shoulders and went up to wash her hands. I stared at her, looking how much she had changed. She reached in her knock-off Juicy handbag and refreshed her lipgloss. She did her blush and her eye-make up, but it wasn't until she was half-way finished with her mascara she noticed me. She turned with a small wicked smile.

"Hi Gwen. Wow, don't you look like shit!"
Mary.

"I've changed a lot haven't I?" She spun a bit so I could see every angle of the knock-off True Religion jeans and knock-off Rocawear blouse and knock-off Prada heels, the Ray Bans were genuine though.

I didn't say anything to her.
"I've changed, but you're still the same. A loser, and a freak!" she said, "I have friends now. Take note of the plural. But you and the Cullens are basically a travelling circus."
Silence.
"What's the matter?" she walked over to me, "Cat got your tongue? I suppose in memory of our old 'friendship', I should say, 'Are you alright?' "
"I'm fine," my voice low and raspy, strained from trying to control my anger.
Mary scoffed as if I'd said something stupid, "Freako," she murmured, laughing. She slammed the door on her way out.

As soon as she had left I rose up. I walked over to the mirror and washed out my hair. The cold water was intense, and for some reason, fueled my anger. The sent of meat sauce that I could not escape, pissed my off.

I breathed hard as the anger took me over, ravaging me, and gave me strength. My body felt like I was losing control. I felt like an animal. I felt hot, and it was as if some great pressure was set on me like weights were tied to my ankles. I needed some output. It was like a great mass of energy in me. I looked at my visage in the mirror, I was.........disgrace. Like a caged beast.

On impulse, I drew my fist back, then let it fly in the mirror, breaking my image in pieces, just like how my mentality was. I let my fist fall to my side. I dug my nails in my palm, letting the red blood stain the white tiles.

But it was fine. I already had the healing burn in my knuckles.

**********EDWARD'S P.O.V.*************

It was amazing how the sky got cloudy again! I had to see Bella, I hadn't seen her in hours! I entered the school and the scent of meat sauce washed over me...............okay then. I walked in the main building. It was almost time for class. I'd wait by the lockers til Bella gets her books. Again, the scent of disgusting meat sauce, but, this was near, it was as if it were floating in the air. I turned around to see Gwen standing by her locker, in empty hallway, in gym clothes, and the look in her eyes was dead.

"Gwen?" I said approaching her. She turned her eyes to me. But they did not look normal. Upon realizing it was me, all she had was the ghost of her usually glance. That glance that she looked on me was one that was lofty, with a sprinkle of annoyance, and a dash of indifference usually.

"What d'you want Cullen?" Even her voice was different and she made a weak attempt to hide the crack in her voice.
"Have you been crying?" I asked.
"Ha! Don't be stupid." Was her reply, but it didn't have her usual tone.
"You missed this," I reached in her hair and took out a noodle. All she did was glare at me. Some girls were coming from the cafeteria. They saw Gwen and went straight to snickering. I read their minds. And Gwen and I waited patiently until they passed.

"Lauren did what?!" I exploded.
"I know, Alice will kill me. She went to all the trouble of dolling me up," she tried to sound sarcastic, but her body was already trembling.

"Gwen," I said gently, touching her shoulder.
"Don't touch me Cullen," she tried to shrug away but I held her tighter and made her face me.
"Gwen," I said more seriously.
"Really, Edward," she smiled at me with tears forming in her eyes, "I'm fine. If I let something like that upset me, where would I be in life?" I was sure that she was just trying to assure herself. Her little figure, in so much pain.
"That's exactly how I know you're not fine," I narrowed my eyes, "When was the last time you called me by my first name?"
"Then 'Cullen'," she knitted her brows in a half-assed attempt to sound sarcastic, "If I called you that, would you believe me?"
"No," I pulled her in and hugged her. She needed some type of comfort now.

"You idiot!" she cried in my chest, her warm tears seeping through my shirt, "Who the hell said you could do that?!"
"It'll be fine, okay?" I rubbed her hair and she clutched to shirt.
"Asshole!" she cried harder, "I don't need your pity! I don't fucking need you to tell me tha-that!"
"Amazing," I chuckled, "She's crying on me and screaming at me simultaneously. I can't tell if she's sad or angry."
"Both! You sarcastic, bastard!" she chest shook from taking broken breaths, "Shut up and die! I hate you!"
I smiled slightly but then, there was a familiar scent. uh-oh.

I looked over my shoulder and there stood a black-haired boy with a shocked beyond shocked expression on his face as he looked on Gwen and myself. Gwen, sensing the shift in my head, looked in the direction I was looking in.
"Cayden!" she cried. And as if she forgot I existed, she broke out of my grasp and pushed, (yes pushed) me out of the way and RAN to him.
"Hey," he said slightly disoriented as he hugged her, then he hugged her tighter when he realized that she wasn't letting go.
"I'm so sorry!" her voice shook slightly, "you just wanted to help and I - "
"Shhh, it's alright," he rubbed her face and wiped away a tear on her cheek, "What happened? Why are you in gym clothes?"

"It was Lauren," I said because knew that Gwen wasn't going to tell him, "threw food all over her clothes."
"Lauren did fucking what?!" He exploded, holding Gwen, who had been glaring daggers at me, closer, "I'll run her snooty ass nose in the mud!"
"Don't get angry," Gwen said silently.
"I am getting fucking angry cause she pissed me off! Damn it Gwen, just lemme get angry this once!" he half-pleaded.
She smiled silently at him. I went over and ruffled her hair.
"See," I said smiling and ignoring her look of venom, "everything's happy now."

"Yeah," Cayden smiled at me politely yet in his mind he was fighting back thoughts of cutting off my hand. He did realize though, that Gwen and I share a very complex, love-hate relationship. Much like siblings and she was the bratty, short-fused younger sister and I was the know-it-all, suck-up older brother.

"Let's take the rest of the school day off," Cayden said to Gwen, "This place is too dull anyways."
"Sure," she smiled in reply to him, yet her face had dried tears on them.
As they turned to leave, I flicked her hair causing her to twitch in slight annoyance.

I turned my head. It was time to look for Bella. And even though I said that, I wondered how I could have missed her sweet, intoxicating scent, for there she was turning her head away from me and turning the corner.

"Bella, wait!" I ran after her. Why did she act like I wasn't here? God, I wish I could read her mind.
"Edward," she smiled sweetly at me when I was too close to ignore, "I thought you were at home, or hunting."
"I came to see you," I was a bit confused. Although she smiling, her beautiful, chocolate eyes were glazed with a sadness that sent me almost as insane as the scent of her blood. and she ignored me. Did I do something wrong? What happened? Maybe she just had a bad day or something . Yeah,, that must be it. She loves me afterall.

"What was that? With Gwen." She smiled as the tears formed in her eyes.
"No! Don't cry!" I held her shoulder. Her lower lip was quivering.
"Do you love her?" she asked.
"Yes! But not like I love you!" I said.
"But you don't look at me like that," she whimpered.
"How do I look at her?"
"Like she's your most favourite person in the world,"

"Well she is one of them," I said, "But you are the only woman I would spend an eternity with."
She looked up at me and blushed slightly. I smiled a bit and brushed a lock of her hair over her ear. I held her cheek and kissed her gently. "I love you,"

"I love you too," she smiled sadly at me.
"Let me tell you something about Gwen. It will explain why she need so much care." I said.