I'll Just Keep Painting Flowers for You

It was that day, the day that Alex told me that he'd asked Tay out and she'd said yes. It was that day that I realised something that I wished I'd realised earlier. It hit me that I like Alex as more than just a friend, and ever since that day, that's all I can ever think about.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy if Alex is happy, and Tay's nice enough, but I can't help thinking that he should be with me and not her. But I'm determined not to let my jealousy get the better of me.
Alex is happy with Tay, anybody could see that and they'd be blind not too. He smiles all the time when he's with her, and he never shuts up about her when he's not with her. He's lovestruck.
I tend to think about what life would be like if I'd realised that I liked Alex in such a way before he asked Tay out. Would he think I was strange if I told him? Would he think I was weird? Would he not care, would he like me back? I guess we'll never know now. I mean, I don't plan on telling him how I feel. Mostly because I worry about what people would think, but also because I don't want to take away Alex's happiness. I like seeing him happy, it means alot to me. He deserves it after how hard he always works.
If I ever do decide to tell anyone about how I feel, Rian would be the person I do tell. Not that I don't trust Zack, I do, of course, I just have a gut feeling that Rian would handle it better. He's just that type of person. But right now, I don't want to tell anyone. No matter how much it hurts me inside, no matter how much I love him, I just don't want to tell anyone how I feel.
Right now, it's my secret and that's not going to change anytime soon.