I'll Just Keep Painting Flowers for You

I wandered back round to the front of the tourbus and I walked over the the van that everyone was unloading things out of. I grabbed one of my guitars and followed everyone in through the backstage door. I couldn't stop smiling, not after what had just happened. All I could think about was how right it felt. Not about Tay, not about what'd happen if she found out. I'd put that to the back of my mind for now, I didn't want that to ruin this feeling. I'd never felt like this before. I had a feeling inside of me that I didn't recall ever feeling before... something I couldn't describe to anyone. To put it simply, I felt happy. Happy that everything Rian had said to me about not worrying was true, and that Alex really did love me back. I kept thinking about how it felt when his lips touched mine... when he smiled afterwards. It was all so perfect. Tonight's show was going to be great and nothing could change that. Not now. Not ever.

I was jumping around backstage trying to warm up for the show that started in precisely 2 hours - yep, it was 6 and the show started at 8, but we did have a Meet & Greet at half 6 - when Rian ran into the room I was in.
"What's making you so happy then, eh?" He laughed, nudging me. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't like he wouldn't have guessed already. Rian knows me too well. Plus, I'd told him about what my plan was for today anyway.
"Don't be such a dick." I joked with him. He grinned and pushed me down onto the sofa before sitting down opposite me. I had a sparkle in my eye, and a faint smile spread across my lips.
"Go on then... spill." He urged, still grinning at me. There was no harm in telling him. I looked around the room checking that no-one else was there, just in case anyone was listening in. He saw what I was doing and ran over to the door to shut it, so no-one could hear me. He jogged back over and threw himself down onto the sofa next to me. "Come on! I want to know all the goss."
"Have you not guessed?" I asked him.
"Well... yeah. I've been told. But I still want you to tell me!" He replied. Who had told him? Had Alex told him? No, he said it was our secret. I decided to tell him anyway, and then ask him who else had told him. I wasn't bothered who it was... as long as this person didn't go around gossiping about it, or spreading rumours.
"I kissed Alex. I took him round to the back of the tourbus when we got back after lunch, and I told him I love him. He said he loves me too, and then he kissed me. He kissed me Rian!" I exclaimed.
"I told you it wouldn't go that bad! He said it was perfect." Rian replied.
Wait... he?! Alex wouldn't have told him? No. Surely not. He'd never have told anyone.
"HE? Who told you it was perfect?" I asked, confused.
"Alex... Oh! I forgot to tell you, didn't I? Woops." He giggled to himself. I was still confused. I raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. "Whilst you've been worrying to me all this time, he's been worrying to me aswell. Remember that week after Brixton when we were on the bus and he got a call off Tay? He came back and didn't look like he was okay? That night, when you and Zack and the guys had gone to bed, Alex told me he had feelings for you. He'd been thinking about it when he was on the phone to Tay and he'd flipped out on the phone to her. She was confused as to what was up with him, but he ended up putting the phone down to her. I didn't tell him because he told me not to, just like I didn't tell him anything you told me either."
I was shocked. I was at a loss for words. I felt a mixture of emotions all at once. I was happy, because Alex really did like me, and he had been worrying about me and what I'd do if he ever told me...I was angry at Rian for not telling me after he found out how much keeping this secret was hurting me...I was confused because I would've thought Alex would've told me such a thing. But then again, I never told him.
"Really?! Wow. I-... I don't know what to say." I said, speechless.
"You don't have to say anything pal. Just be happy because you know he really does like you. It's not a lie, man. This is real life. It'll turn out okay, believe me." He smiled at me. He always knew what to say, and he always knew how I was feeling, even if I was faking a smile, which frustrated me when I didn't want anyone to know how I was feeling. He knew me better than anyone, I guess. Alex, Zack and Rian knew me more than I knew myself, now that I thought about it. Rian was the only one who confronted me about it though, because he was the only one who knew what to say.
I wasn't going to let finding out about this put me down though. I was still happy. Now that I knew it wasn't a lie, it made me feel better than I had previously, in a way. I continued smiling, and it wasn't a fake smile. I sat and thought about everything for a while, and Rian left me to it and went off to throw a clean shirt on, when Zack interrupted me.
"Come on guys! The meet and greet starts in 5 minutes!" He yelled across the room. Both me and Rian jumped. Crap, I forgot all about it. I leapt up out of my seat and me and Rian and Zack all legged it to the main venue hall to join Alex and Flyzik.