I'll Just Keep Painting Flowers for You

That night in Orlando was the first show in a long time where I didn't suffer throughout the duration. I felt happy, I didn't feel stressed or on edge, and most of all, I could play along with Jalex and let it be real at the same time. To put it simply, I was relieved. We were half way through tour and we didn't finish until the 7th of next month, so roughly a month away, which meant I wouldn't have to worry about Tay finding out about me and Alex until then and I'd get him to myself - for now anyway.
I'd been thinking about how Rian knew about me and Alex, but Zack didn't. I didn't want to tell Flyzik, and I had my reasons for that, and Vinny and the rest of the crew weren't going to find out anyway, but I needed to find a way to tell Zack. Or Alex did... one or the other. It wasn't fair on him not knowing, he deserved to. Trouble is, I don't know how he'd react to finding out something like that. He'd probably tease me, as he did about everything, but what if he thought we were weird or whatever? I didn't turn to Zack when I needed to talk to someone about things because he's not great at handling situations like that, whereas Rian is. Rian always knows what to say, what to do, and he has a way with words that no other person I know of does. Zack is still my best friend, obviously. All three of the lads were, but I found it easier to trust Rian with something like this. We'd have to tell Zack at some point though.

We were chilling out on the bus on the way to Dallas, a week after I confessed my feelings for Alex to his face. Zack was in his bunk and me, Alex and Rian were sat around the table in the "kitchen area" of the bus. Alex subtly moved his hand so it was covering mine, and Rian and Flyzik didn't notice a thing. He was good at keeping this whole thing a secret, it surprised me. Everytime I looked at Alex, he had a sparkle in his eye. He was happy with me, and that made me all the more happy. He deserved to be happy, and I was even more glad that he was happy with me. I got a warm feeling inside of me when I felt his hand touch mine. I wanted to lay there with him forever, with his arms wrapped around me. He made me feel content, and he made me feel complete. Nothing could touch our relationship. Nothing at all. The relationship between the two of us was precious, and it was certainly fragile, I realised that, and I didn't want to lose it. If I lost Alex, I'd feel lost. I wouldn't know what to do. I never want to lose him as a friend, or as a boyfriend - even if he wasn't officially my boyfriend just yet, I still classed him as that.
We heard Zack jump out of his bunk, chuckling to himself. Alex moved his hand quickly, as Zack may have spotted it, and neither of us wanted him to find out like that before one of us told him personally. Just before the show at Houston, which was the day before Dallas, me and Alex had been discussing who was going to tell Zack. We were sitting backstage in the dressing room, and Rian and Zack had gone to grab some lunch. Alex was sitting cross-legged on the sofa and I had my legs stretched out across his lap, leaning back against the cushions behind me.
"Um, Alex..." I said to get his attention. He'd been drifting off into his own world alot recently, and I tended to spend alot of time pondering about what he was thinking. He blinked and turned his head towards me, a huge grin stretched across his face.
"Yeah?" He asked, urging me to continue.
"I've been thinking..." I begun, before trailing off. What if he thought I was stupid for letting the thought of telling Zack even cross my mind? What if he didn't want to tell Zack? It wasn't all about Alex and what he wanted, but he had an opinion too... but then again, so did I. I wanted to talk to him about it anyway, "You know how Rian knows about me and you, and Zack doesn't?"
"I do know that, yes. What about it?" He questioned me. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to carry on.
"I think we should tell Zack. It's not fair on him not to know anything, and for Rian to know everything. Zack hasn't done anything to deserve not knowing, and he's our best friend. I've been thinking about it recently. How do we tell him though?" I explained, rushing every word I said as I was in a panic about what his reply was going to be. He chuckled to himself when I finished, and let out a deep breath.
"I agree with you Jacky. I think we should tell him just like we told Rian. I don't think he'll mind. In fact, I'm sure he won't. Who should tell him?" He replied. Thank God he agreed with me. When Alex had an opinion of his own, and he didn't agree with what your opinion was, he was quick on his heels to get his point across.
"I was thinking you?" I suggested, my words could barely be heard. He laughed when he realised what I'd said.
"Oh, okay. I can totally do that. I'll tell him tomorrow before the show in Dallas, and I'll let you know how it goes." He said, nodding. He smiled in my direction before winking at me.
I sat bolt upright and crossed my legs, and we sat there in silence, gazing into eachother's eyes. I didn't feel awkward when me and Alex were sat in silence. We both knew when the other wanted to be quiet, and being quiet allowed me to think about things more. Mainly about Alex, but that's beside the point. He shuffled across to me and rested his head on my shoulder. I let out a heavy sigh. A satisfied kind of sigh. He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled his head into my neck, and I put the arm that wasn't trapped between us around him. I held him there and none of us made a sound or moved an inch, until we were interrupted by a noise that came from outside the dressing room door. We heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside towards the dressing room, and both of us sat back up and giggled to ourselves. It made me happy that we could still have as much fun as we used to, even though the relationship between the two of us had changed a little bit.
I watched as the door got pushed open, creaking as it opened further. Zack and Rian trotted in, followed by Flyzik and Danny Kurily.
"Hey guys, how was lunch?" Alex asked innocently, as if we hadn't just been talking about telling Zack about our secret, or being passionate. Rian caught my eye and winked at me, and I bit my lip in order to keep myself from laughing. He can always tell if Alex is lying or covering something up just by the way he acts or the tone of voice he speaks in.
"Great, thanks man. You two should've come." Zack replied.
"Enough of the chit chat lads, we have a meet and greet in half an hour. Come on!" Flyzik interrupted, urging us to get up and follow him out the door to the meet and greet room. Me and Alex both stood up at the same time and followed Flyzik, Zack and Rian out the door. Matthew Flyzik is the one person who can always keep us lads in order. We wouldn't be anywhere without that guy. He gets frustrated with us sometimes, I must admit, but for the most part, we get along with him. He's another one of my best friends in a sense. The whole crew is, really. They're like our 'tour family'. We spend every second of every day with eachother, and we can't hide anything from anyone else; except, ofcourse. mine and Alex's big secret.