Scream, to Be Heard

Chapter 15
“I’m good to go, but I’m goin’ nowhere fast…” Bailey banged out the chords on her guitar as she sat behind their van. They were in California, and it was hot as hell. It’d been two weeks since the incident. She and Alex barely exchanged words, which was extremely difficult due to the fact that they were sharing such a small space for such a long period of time. But she distanced herself. She talked to Flyzik or Jack or did anything to keep herself occupied; although that didn’t mean she was over him. Every time she saw Alex, there was a pang in her heart that was incurable by distraction. Bailey missed him. She missed having his arms around her and exchanging sweet nothings as they rolled around aimlessly in the grass, listening to whatever CD they had just bought.
“Two more weeks, my foot is in the door…yeahh, I can’t sleep, in the wake of Saturday…” Bailey sang and didn’t care, to be honest. Whoever was annoyed by it would just have to get over it. She didn’t hear the footsteps in the grass behind her.
“BAILEY!” The blonde jumped and turned to see an enraged Flyzik.
“What’s up, McFly?” She said as casually as possible. It was difficult to do in this circumstance.
“ALEX IS LOCKED IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM AND HE WON’T COME OUT AND I’M TERRIFIED.” Bailey was still for a minute, but then remembered that he had told the guys about his…predicament when he performed Lullabies for the first time. Without a second thought, she sprinted to the bathroom. Fangirls were pushed out of the way, hot guys were disregarded (for the time being) and she ran faster than she ever had before.
“ALEX. LET ME IN THERE.” The girl relentlessly pounded on the door. No response. She was starting to get nervous. Could he have…..no…he didn’t……even so, Bailey’s heart pounded in her chest.
“Alex…p..please…” Still no answer.
“ALEX. PLEASE LET ME IN THERE. I….I’m so sorry….” She didn’t know why she was apologizing, I mean it wasn’t really her fault. She didn’t know what to do. Tears began to trickle down her face as she slammed her fists on the door, slowly getting lighter with force. The blonde repeated his name over and over, as if it would help; people walking by began to stare but she didn’t care. She just wanted him to be okay.
“A…Alex…” Bailey leaned back against the door and slid to the ground, head in her hands. This was her fault. All her fucking fault. She was in the midst of wallowing in sorrow that she just….started singing.
“Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye….it could be for the last time but it’s not right… ‘don’t let yourself get in over your head’ he said, alone and far from home I’ll find you….” She swore she could hear someone singing along…but no…it couldn’t be.
“Dead, Like a candle you burned out, spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words-” A voice from behind the door joined hers.
“Scream, to be heard, like you needed any more attention…” Her heart fluttered. Thank god. She jumped up and jiggled the doorknob once more, this time opening.
“B…Bailey…” Everything inside her just wanted to die at the sight in front of her. There was Alex…her Alex…curled up in ball in the corner and crying, razor in one hand and blood dripping down his other arm. His chest was heaving as he looked up to her in tears.
“Oh….Oh my god.” She lunged to the floor and wrapped her arms around him. He was sobbing and reached for the paper towels to soak up the blood.
“Alex…I thought you were d…dea…” The boy cried into her chest and held her, holding onto the towel to heal his wounds.
“Shhhh…” He whispered through his tears, trying to calm to hysterical girl that had her arms around him. So the two of them sat; a huddled, crying, bleeding… lump in the bathroom. Quite disgusting, actually. But in a way….it was completely necessary. They regained their breath after a few minutes and looked into each other’s eyes.
“Bailey I’m so…so fucking s.. sorry…” Alex stuttered, slowly calming down. He wiped the left over tears off of his cheeks onto the bottom of his tank top.
“Alex it’s o..okay…” She wanted to focus on covering up his cuts but in all honesty, all she wanted to do was kiss him. It had been too long. The nights were lonely and Jack wasn’t much of a help, since every other word out of his mouth was indeed a dick joke.
“No it’s not,” he said, looking down at the blood-stained paper towel. It stung. “I was such a fucking asshole…I don’t even deserve you…” Bailey hushed him.
“Why would you ever think that?” Alex pulled himself closer into her chest, still occasionally sniffling. Surprisingly, he wasn’t fazed at the thought of Bailey seeing him cry. It was probably the circumstance. But nevertheless, he was shocked it wasn’t really at all awkward or anything.
“Because I’ve been a total ass-hat and I was totally ignoring you and taking advantage of the fact that we’re not official and I just…” They were interrupted by Flyzik peeping his head through the door.
“Thank god you’re okay- A..Alex…Dude…” He was at a loss for words (I know, I know, band pun.)
“I..I know…” There was a moment of silence until a mutual consent was reached to just leave the other alone. It was better that way.
Over the week, Bailey and Alex hung out like they used to. It was refreshing. She even let him borrow her band bracelets to cover up the damage that he promised he’d never do again. Everything was back to normal, and they wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
“Hey Bails?” Alex bounded over shortly after their set finished. It was a perfect day in Utah; not too hot, not too cold.
“Mmhm?” She hummed in response, long, blonde waves flying through the air. The last of the guitars were in the trunk, and now they could chill. He took in her appearance – Short shorts that made her legs look impossibly long and an off-the-shoulder Pink Floyd t-shirt . ‘Damn.’ He thought. It wasn’t much, but that’s what he liked about it. Her style in general. Sexy-bad ass. Alex likey.
“You wanna go see Fall Out Boy?” Bailey beamed as she locked up the trailer.
“Fucking finally.” She joked, punching him in the shoulder playfully.
“Ow!” He faked, nudging her back.
“Psh. Weak!” The blonde giggled as he shoved her with his hip, and rather sassily at that. She then resorted to poking his weak spot.
“FUCK NO NOT THIS AGAIN” He sprinted off to the stage, Bailey trailing behind. She never was a star athlete. She dodged emo girls and merch tents in an attempt to catch up with Alex, but no such luck. The girl was out of breath and looked like an idiot trying to jog after him. Turning a final corner, she came face to face with the boy and jolted backwards, almost falling.
“Not so fast,” he chuckled, grabbing onto her belt loops to prevent her from toppling backwards into a garbage can.
“Fuck you,” Bailey laughed, “but thanks.” He took her hand and they dove straight into the crowd, singing and dancing along with the words of Dead On Arrival. Pete bounced around on stage as Patrick sang the lyrics melodically, hypnotizing the crowd while Joe and Andy….did what Joe and Andy do. Bailey was in her happy place; watching one of her favorite bands under the warm sun, swaying in a crowd of thousands with the dirt beneath her old Vans, not giving a fuck about anything except the music. Plus the fact that she had Alex next to her was a nice little bonus as well.
“This next song goes out to all of you,” Patrick breathed, obviously out of breath from dancing his little chubby self around the stage, and Pete interrupted.
“SUGAR,” The short emo yelled, “WE’RE GOIN’ DOWN” The kids in the crowd screamed and jumped up and down at the opening chords. Alex and Bailey looked at each other and smiled. This was their song.
Alex kept looking at her from the corner of his eye. Was now the right time? He ran over the thoughts that had been going through his mind for ages as the beautiful blonde next to him shouted along with the words and smiled one of the biggest smiles he’d ever seen in his entire life.
“Drop a heart, break a name, we’re always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team….” He started getting nervous. He didn’t know why, because he’s known her for months and really shouldn’t have been but…he just was.
Alex sang along for the rest of the second chorus with his heart beating up against his chest. It was then that he looked over at Bailey, blonde waves bouncing up and down with the music.
“Bails?” She looked up with a smile, their hands brushing.
“Mmhm?” The boy swallowed nervously (“that’s what she said lol”) and bit his lip.
“I love you.” Her face instantly brightened, and without thinking leaned up to kiss him. Alex smiled through the kiss, wrapping his hands around her waist. God, how he missed this.
“Alex,” She whispered on his lips, “I love you too.”
“We’re goin’ down, down in an earlier round, and sugar we’re goin’ down swingin…”
“One more thing.” Their foreheads were pressed together, just lovers in a crowd.
“Yes?” She grinned, locking eyes with him. His hands grazed down her arms to her hands, and he held them.
“Be my girlfriend?”
“I’ll be your number one with the bullet…”
“Of course.”
They locked lips once more, sun beginning to set, Stump serenading in the background. It didn’t get much more perfect than this.
“A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it.”