Just Consider It

Before I knew it, November was gone and we were going full speed into December. This meant three things: 1) Christmas, 2) New Year's, and 3) my tutor deadline was up.

I'd managed to get my grades up to a satisfactory level by then. Professor Keen was no longer up my ass about every assignment, and I was able to sit quietly in class and just do my work. Niall and I still hung out a lot, though, and while we always said we were "studying" it usually ended up in us exploring the weird side of YouTube or listening to music or trying to set world records for stupid things.

I also tried to spend equal amounts of time with Tyler, too. It was like they were my divorced parents who were sharing custody over me, except for the fact that Niall didn't really give a shit.

"He's your boyfriend, not mine," was all he said whenever I had to leave to go out with him. "It's not like I care."

And even though I was really beginning to think I could love Tyler, a part of me always hated leaving their room. As I closed the door, I would always get one last glimpse of Niall, making some nachos or strumming his guitar or watching TV, and it made me wish that I could stay a little more.

"Listen," I said to him one Saturday afternoon. Christmas was coming. "My mom and dad told me I have until December to get rid of you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Get rid of me?"

"You know, the tutor . . . thing."

"Ah." We were sitting on his bed watching old reruns of Skins on TV, a large plate of curly fries between us. "Does this mean our friendship is over? After I gave you the curliest curly fry?" he joked.

I gave him a look, and he grinned, but it was a little bit bittersweet, almost like he was bracing himself for rejection or something. It made me feel a little bad. "So . . . what are you going to do?" he asked, more serious this time.

"Well. I was thinking that maybe we could just tell them I don't need you anymore . . ."

"You mean lie to them?"

"I mean, unless you think I don't need any more tutoring?" I asked, glancing at him. We all heard the question buried deep in there somewhere. Niall smiled and shook his head.

"Nah, I think we've got loads of work to do. But," his face got serious once more, "I don't promote lying to your mum and dad, H. And what if they ask Avery about it?"

"I'll get her in on it. Maggie and Tyler, too, just in case." I adjusted the pillow I was leaning against. "And it'll only be a little white lie."

"When are you going to tell them?"

"Um . . . I was thinking now?"

"Now? Jesus, you couldn't have given me a warning?" Niall sat up so fast he almost knocked over the plate of fries. "God, Hero."

"Please just go with it," I begged. "I want them off my back, Niall. Please."

He sighed after studying me for a minute. "Fine. For you. Go ahead." He muted the TV and watched me expectantly as I dialed my home number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mom."

"Oh hello, Hero." My mom's voice was cool, a reminder of the last time we'd spoken. "How are you?"

"Good . . . how are you?"

"Fine, thank you." There was a pause. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Um," I coughed and glanced at Niall, who nodded encouragingly. Whenever I was on the phone with my parents I always seemed to deflate a little, like a kicked puppy. I tried to sound brisk and confident. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

"I got rid of my tutor." I closed my eyes, hoping she couldn't tell I was lying just by hearing my voice.

"You did?"

"Yes."

"You got that Psychology grade back up to your usual standards?"

"Yeah, it's getting there. I'm studying a lot more now, by myself, and it's going well." Niall snorted, and I elbowed him in the rubs, mouthing, be quiet. He rolled his eyes.

"Did you!" my mother sounded pleased, and I could feel my body going numb with relief. I wasn't in trouble. There wouldn't be any yelling or insults. I was tempted to do a fist pump but held off for now. "That's good, Hero, very good. When your father gets home I'll be sure to tell him."

"Okay. Cool."

"So what are you up to?" she asked, her voice much warmer now.

Now I had to be careful. "Well . . . uh . . . since I've been doing so well on my assignments I thought I'd take a day off," I said.

"Are you ahead of everything?"

"Just about," I fudged. Niall was staring straight ahead at the mute TV, but I could see that his body was tense, and I was guilty for some reason. I knew he didn't like the idea but honestly? What was I supposed to do? He didn't know my parents like I did. He didn't know anything about the past eighteen years of my life. The pressures, the anger, the stress. If I could get away from that, even for a little bit, it would make everything so much easier.

"Well, that's nice." I didn't know what to say to that, so I stayed quiet, and she did too. Then, she finally asked, "Are you coming home for Christmas, or are you staying with Avery?"

I jumped at the opprotunity to stay. "I think I'll stay, if that's all right."

"We'll just mail your gifts with Avery and Mason's, then," she dismissed it. "Glad that's sorted. Well, Hero, I must be going now, I've got a lecture in an hour. Keep up the good work. I'll call at Christmas."

"Okay. Bye." I hung up with her and turned to Niall.

"So?"

"I think it went well. I think it went really, really well." I was smiling by then. "I'm staying for Christmas."

"Are you?" His eyes lit up. "Cool. I'm going to Ireland on the 24th."

"When will you be back?"

"The 28th. Why, think you'll miss me too much?"

"Maybe," I said vaguely, too happy to care. I picked up a fry and chewed it, unmuting the TV so we could keep watching.

* * *

Avery, like me, didn't care that I'd lied to our parents; she knew that I had as hard a time as she did. She was happy that I was able to stay for Christmas, saying that she would cook a big meal, even though it was only going to be me, her, and Mason.

Maggie didn't care much either, but she did say she wasn't going to help when it backfired in my face. She could be such a bitch sometimes. She was going back to Florida for Christmas, leaving me with an empty dorm room.

This would normally be good, except that Tyler was also going back to Manchester until before New Year's. He completely disapproved of the lie, so maybe it wasn't bad that he was leaving, because if we were left alone together it would probably start another world war. However, I didn't really like the thought of being alone for the Christmas holidays.

It wasn't like I didn't have any other friends at college; now that people had sort of accepted the fact that Niall and I were a package deal, more of them were being nice to me. Apparently I was intimidating or something. But Niall, Avery, Maggie, and Tyler were my main group of friends, and with 75% of them leaving for Christmas, I was no doubt going to be pretty lonely.

So, I busied myself and went Christmas shopping with Avery. For Mason, I bought him a new shirt, a pair of sneakers, and a stuffed kangaroo, since Mason had a thing for them. Avery inspected all my presents and deemed them worthy of buying. For Maggie, I bought her a cropped denim shirt, some new lipstick, and a bottle of perfume. For Tyler I bought two shirts from Topman, and when Avery wasn't looking, I bought her a new cardigan, some heels, and some earrings.

The only person I hadn't bought a gift for was Niall. I wasn't sure if I should, or if it was crossing the line somehow. "Do you think I should buy Niall something?" I asked Avery.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know, do you think it'll mean something?"

"Do you want it to mean something?" Avery asked in that roundabout way of hers. Sometimes I wanted to strangle her.

"I don't know." She wasn't helping at all, so I decided what better way to figure it out than to call Niall himself?

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Hiya."

"What are you doing?"

"Packing." Every time Niall mentioned his trip back home I could feel my stomach sink a little. It was like a reminder that I was going to be left alone with my sister for Christmas. As if he could tell, he said, "It's only four days, H."

"I know."

"And what are you doing?"

"Christmas shopping."

"Ah."

"Which leads me to my next question: do you want me to get you anything?" I figured it was best to just come right out with it. I was not one for beating around the bush.

There was a pause before Niall said, "Do you want to?"

"Fuck, Niall, you sound like my sister. Just answer the question!"

"Well, I don't know! If you want to get me something, go ahead! I don't care."

I rubbed my temple. "Niall, yes or no?"

"I mean, fine! Sure. I already got you stuff, so fine. Whatever. Buy me shit. Are you happy now?"

"Barely. Jeesh, was that so hard?" I stopped suddenly, re-playing our conversation over in my head. "Wait, did you say you bought me a gift, too?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll get you something too."

"Cool." There was silence before he asked, "Is that it?"

"I guess so."

"Okay. See you later."

"Okay." I listened to him breathe for a second before I hung up and went back over to where Avery was waiting for me. "We're going back to Topman," I announced.

"What are you going to get him?" she asked, falling into step beside me.

I shrugged. "Probably a shirt or something."

"Hero!" Avery stopped and glared at me, placing her hands on her hips. "You can't just buy him 'a shirt or something.' You have to put thought into your gifts, or else it isn't a gift at all!"

"Avery, why does it matter?" I asked, exasperated. It was almost dinnertime. I wanted to go back to my room and sleep the long day away.

"Hero, it's everything. Christmas is one of the only times where you can really show someone how much you care. Especially someone like you." She gave me a meaningful look.

Some part of me, deep down, felt a little guilty at brushing Niall's present off like that, especially since he'd bought me a gift without really caring if I bought him in return. I sighed. "Okay, okay, fine."

So that was how I ended up staying at the mall for an extra hour, wandering into store after store with Avery until I'd settled on buying him a new snapback, a shirt that said Diamond Supply Co. on it, and a new pair of sneakers.

"Better?" I asked my sister tiredly as we rode the bus back to campus.

"Much better."

* * *

On Christmas Eve, I was getting ready to go to Avery's house for dinner, feeling slightly miffed. My day so far had gone decent. Maggie was pleased with her presents and had given me some mascara, a sweater, and some slippers, which I liked.

Tyler had also liked his shirts, but for my gifts, I received a series of pink bracelets and a nude blouse. I didn't mind the color pink, but those things just weren't really my style. I preferred darker, plainer, more pastel things, because they were simple and they looked best on me. But I did my best to look happy.

That, added to the fact that he wouldn't be back until right before New Year's, did nothing to improve my mood.

I was walking across campus, shivering in the cold, when I suddenly remembered Niall's gift. I cursed my stupidity and turned back, jogging until I reached my building. I unlocked the door to my room, grabbed the box that had all of his things in it, and left again, wondering sourly why I'd managed to forget about him.

I returned to Niall and Tyler's room and knocked on the door. Instead of Niall opening it, like I'd expected, a small woman with short, artfully styled blonde hair answered.

"Hello," she said.

"Uh," was my witty response. "Hi. Is Niall there?"

"Ma, who's at the door?" Niall called, coming up behind her. "Oh. Hey." His eyes widened a little once he saw me, and I shrugged.

To the woman, whom I guessed was his mother, I said, "Hi, I'm Hero." She cocked her head, and I waited for it, the weird looks, the questions. Yes, we all knew that hero was technically a noun, so what?

"I'm Maura, Niall's mother," the woman introduced herself. And then, she smiled. "What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl, eh?"

I blinked in surprise. "Thank you," I managed to say. "It's nice to meet you. I, uh, just came to give Niall his Christmas present?" It sounded like I was asking her permission.

She smiled back. "Of course." She stepped out and ushered me into the room. "I'll be out here waiting." Before I could protest, she shut the door, leaving the two of us alone.

Niall stared at me, and I stared back. "So," he said at last, "that was my mum."

"She's sweet," I told him. "What's she doing here?"

"She decided to surprise me. We're going up to my grandparents' house together."

"That's nice." I rocked back and forth on my heels. He just looked at me, and for the first time I felt a little nervous being alone with him. It was like there was tension between us, but not angry tension. Just . . . tension. "So, you want your gift or what?"

"Hell yeah I do." He grabbed the box from me and opening it, throwing aside the tissue paper. He pulled out the shirt first, gaping at it. "Oh yes. Oh hell yes. I've always wanted one of those." Next he pulled out the snapback. "Wow." He put it on, planting it squarely on his head. "How do I look?"

He looked good. He looked really good, and I kind of wanted to laugh, but I also wanted to die. Instead, I settled on, "Nice. Now come on, there's something else in there."

"Really?" He dug around until he pulled out the sneakers, and his jaw dropped and he sat there gazing at them before he said quietly, "Holy shit."

I laughed. "You like 'em?"

"Like them? God, Hero, how much did these cost you? Holy shit. Holy fucking shit."

"Don't worry about it. They're the right size, right?"

"I - yeah, they are, but God, Hero . . ." He looked up at me. "Thank you."

I began to get uncomfortable again. "It's nothing. Really, Niall."

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to open yours now?"

"Yes," I said. I was grateful for the subject change, but I also just really wanted my gifts. He handed me a blue bag, and I eagerly tossed aside the tissue paper and pulled out a white, long-sleeved shirt with blue stripes on it. It wasn't really something I would consider buying, but the more I looked at it, the more I liked it.

"Is it okay?" Niall asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I nodded, holding it up to myself. "Yeah, it's cute. Wow. I love it." I dug around some more and came up with a pastel green hair bow. "Oh, wow." I held it against my hair. "Thanks, Ni." I brushed a piece of lint off the bow. "This is so cute."

"There's one more thing in there," he said, nodding at the bag. "It might've fallen to the bottom."

I reached in and shuffed around the tissue paper before my fingers came in contact with something cool. I pulled it out and saw a necklace with an owl pendant. It was beautiful, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. "Niall . . ." I swallowed.

"I'm guessing you like it?" he asked, laughing a little.

"I - yeah, oh my God, this is amazing." I examined the necklace from every angle.

"Here." Niall took it and motioned for me to come closer. I did, and he unclasped the necklace and put it around my neck, brushing my hair away. "What do you think?"

"It looks good," I said, looking down and admiring it. "It looks real good." I looked back up at him, suddenly all too aware that his face was right there. "Thank you. Seriously."

"No problem." We stared at each other for a bit before a loud knock on the door made both of us jump.

"Niall, sweetie, we've got to go!" It was Maura.

"Coming!" he called back before turning to me again. "I guess I should . . ."

"You'll be back the 28th, right?" I asked.

"Only four days." He grinned at me. "Merry Christmas, Hero."

"Merry Christmas, Niall." He held out his hand for a fist bump, but for once, I reacted impulsively and stood on my toes and kissed him on the cheek. He blinked, surprised, before he smiled. I smiled back. "See you in four days."

As I said good-bye to Maura and walked back to my room, I couldn't help but notice that I had a slight spring in my step. But at the same time, I wondered what on earth I had done.