Just Consider It

Ever since that fateful day of running into Tyler, it seemed like my relationship with Niall had changed even more. He went from a best friend to a protector, shielding me, defending me from anybody who asked what had happened with Tyler. I didn't particularly mind answering, but if I ever showed any signs of hesitation or flinching, Niall was there to snarl, "Mind your business, eh?" and to guide me away and mumble, "Fuck them, they thrive on the gossip." He would tighten his hand around mine and urge me to forget about it. Then we'd go get ice cream.

Maggie and Avery were totally different. In their minds, the only way to help me was to baby me. They were like my parents; Maggie was the patriarch figure, rough and harsh but fiercely protective and caring, and Avery was the matriarch, gentle and soft, never telling, just suggesting. They communicated through glances and eyebrow raises, having mental conversations that I was supposedly too immature and weak to participate in.

And I appreciated it, I really did. I was lucky to have such good people in my life who cared about me. But sometimes, it just got really, really annoying.

So one Sunday morning, I thought maybe I would just lie in bed and not get up for a little bit. This, however, was not going to fly with Maggie.

"There's a whole world outside," she told me, her hands firmly on her hips.

"Is there really?"

"Shut up, asshole. Get up."

"I don't want to."

"Hero."

"Maggie."

"You were doing so well. Don't throw it all down the drain."

"I'm not getting up. I'm going back to sleep."

"Get up."

"No."

"Get up or I'll call Niall."

"Fuck you." I threw a pillow at her head. She dodged it, glared at me, and then left, slamming the door behind her. I rolled my eyes and collapsed back into bed, burying my face back into the pillow.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and I knew it was Niall, because of course Maggie tattled on me and made a big deal out of nothing and probably got Avery worried, too.

Niall came over and poked me. I blinked up at him. "Hi."

"Maggie told me you weren't getting out of bed." Before I could protest, he held up a finger and said, "But I know you, and I know you're fine. Right?"

"I just want to sleep," I whined.

"Come on, H," Niall wheedled. "If I don't get you up then Maggie'll get mad at me and then what am I supposed to do?" I considered it. "I'll buy you ice cream," he continued.

"Okay, fine." I didn't say that I would've gotten up anyway. He held out his hand and pulled me out of bed. Still holding hands, we walked over to the door. "Hold on," I said. "I need to fix my hair." We stopped in front of the mirror and, not letting go of his hand, I ran a couple fingers through my hair, doing my best to tame it.

It was then that I looked in the mirror and I watched Niall as he waited. I could feel his fingers slightly twitch against mine, and I watched him shift next to me and clear his throat. I watched him itch his nose with his free hand, scrunching it slightly. I watched him glance around the room before his eyes landed on me and he saw me looking.

"Done?"

"Yeah," I said, barely managing to get the one word out. It was like someone had punched me hard in the stomach, like someone was hugging me too tight and squeezing the breath out of me, but it felt good, liberating and scary all at once. Oh, God.

We went to the dairy bar on campus, famous for its huge milkshakes and delicious flavors. Niall got a Whoopie Pie sundae and I ordered a peanut butter milkshake. He received his first and said to me, "I'll find a spot for us."

"Okay." I waited in line a little bit more, occasionally saying hi to people I vaguely knew. When they finally gave me my milkshake, I grabbed a couple napkins, knowing that Niall probably spilled some of his ice cream all over his shirt by now.

But when I finally located him, I wasn't expecting to see him sitting there waiting for me, his legs propped up on my chair, his head tilted back lazily, exposing the soft skin of his neck. His eyes were closed behind his sunglasses. I swallowed hard, plunking my milkshake down on the table.

"I have to, uh, pee. I'll be right back." I hurried away before he could answer, practically running into the bathroom.

There was no one else in there, thank God. I turned on the sink and splashed some water in my face, trying to calm down. "Get a grip," I told myself. "Get a grip, because you don't like him, all right? He's your best friend."

Yeah, a softer voice in my head answered, but he's kind to you and he protects you and he makes you feel safe. You like him. Admit it.

"No, no, no, no." I insisted. "It's too soon."

But it's true.

I covered my face with one hand because yeah, it was true. I did like Niall. Somewhere along the way of this weird friendship we had, I ended up sort of falling for him. The irony of it almost made me laugh. If I could've told the person I was a few months ago that I would grow to like the boy I'd once hated most, I probably would've punched myself in the face.

I didn't want to make him worry, so I did my best to pull myself together before going back out to our table. He was sitting up now, thank God, looking confused. "All good?" he asked when I sat down.

"Yeah," I answered, nodding. Except I think I like you and I think I might die because of it.

"I tried some of your milkshake," he said nonchalantly. "It tastes pretty good."

"Good to know," I said, swallowing, trying to get my voice back to normal. I picked it up and looked at the straw. There was no signs showing that Niall had put his mouth on it, but it made me nervous all the same. And I didn't even know why because Niall and I shared food practically all the time, despite Avery telling us we were going to get mono or something.

He noticed I wasn't touching it. "Was that okay? I figured it was, but . . . here, you want some of mine? It's pretty good."

"Um . . ." He took that as a yes and scooped some up on his spoon, holding it towards my mouth like he was feeding a baby.

"Here, have some. Then we'll be even."

I reluctantly opened my mouth and let him feed me, all too aware of how couple-y it looked. A couple girls, no doubt from Niall's fan club, walked by and eyed us, giggling a little as they did. That got me to roll my eyes, because really, were we college kids or twelve year old girls?

"Who was that?" Niall asked, oblivious as usual.

"No idea," I answered, forcing myself to take a slurp of my milkshake. He was right. It was pretty good.

"Hey," he said a few seconds later. "You know what we should do this weekend?"

"What?"

"I should take you clubbing."

"Clubbing?" I hadn't been to a club in a long time. "Why?"

"Because it'll be fun. You and I have never gone together before. I can find a girl, you can find a guy . . . if you want," he added after seeing the look on my face. "Or not. But we can still hang out and drink and whatever."

I already knew it was going to suck. I pictured myself sitting alone at the bar, watching from a distance as some faceless girl grinded up on the boy I wanted the most. But he was currently looking at me through a bar of black Ray Bans, smiling hopefully, and I couldn't say no.

"Okay. Fine." I gave in reluctantly, and he pumped his fist.

"You're the bestest, H. We're gonna have a fucking blast."

Yeah, I thought dully. A real fucking blast.

* * *

"I'm fucked," I said to Maggie the second I got back. Niall was going over to Liam's to play some video games with the guys, so he'd departed with a hug and a kiss on top of my hair.

"And why is that?" she asked.

I swallowed, inhaled, exhaled, and said quickly, "IthinkIlikeNiall."

Maggie raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"I . . . think . . . I . . . like . . . Niall," I said lamely.

Instead of gasping in shock like I thought she would, she snorted. "Took you long enough to realize it."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that it's obvious you like Niall, and it's obvious he likes you, too. Your sister and I were placing bets on how long it would take you to realize it, and now she owes me." Maggie smiled smugly.

I didn't even want to get into that, so I ignored it. "What am I supposed to do about it?" I asked, sounding a little pitiful. "It's barely been a month, Maggie. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, what do you wanna do?" She'd definitely been hanging around my sister too much.

"I don't know. I kinda just wanna . . . hold his hand." I had no idea where that answer had come from, or why it sounded so much mushier out loud than it had inside my head.

Maggie looked surprised for a second, like that hadn't been the answer she was expecting, either, before she smiled. "Then you should tell him. Trust me, Hero, the kid would do anything for you. I promise."