Just Consider It

Avery and I stayed mad at each other for about three days, which was easy, because we only saw each other by choice anyway. Niall was baffled by the whole thing.

"I get mad at my brother sometimes but I still love him," he said. "And he's a lot older than me than Avery is."

"That's totally irrelevant," I said, annoyed. "Every sibling relationship is different."

He shrugged. "I still think you should go talk to her. It would probably make you less irritable."

"I'm not irritable," I said tightly, knowing very well how irritable I was being.

"Come on," Niall coaxed, knowing that it wouldn't take very much to break me down. For some reason, he had that ability on me. "Just go over and apologize. What could go wrong?"

"Lots of things could go wrong."

"Yeah, but it's Avery. It's just Avery. Come on, H." When I didn't answer, he added, "You'll get to see Mason, too."

"Fine," I gave in a few seconds later. "I'll go. But you have to stay here," I ordered as I stood up from the swivel chair in his room, which still had his name and mine written on it in permanent marker.

He saluted me, falling back onto his bed. "Yes ma'am. Good luck."

I put on my coat and left, trudging off campus and into town. It wasn't a long walk, but it was cold and I really didn't want to look like I was going to Avery's with my tail between my legs or anything, because I wasn't.

It was kind of weird, though, not speaking to her, even if it was for only a few days. Even though we were extremely different, she and I had always been close. When we were younger, I would wait up for Avery whenever she went out on dates, envying the way boys opened car doors for her or kissed her underneath the street lights. It always made me wonder when it would happen to me, when I would be the one getting wooed and serenaded. It never happened.

Avery would come upstairs to our room and once she was in her pajamas and had taken off all her makeup, she'd crawl into bed with me and give me every detail. It made me feel close to her. We were a team, Avery and I. Us against our parents.

Even now, she still called me or came to see me at least three times a week, just to talk or to tell me about what happened at work. If I was having trouble with an assignment, she always tried to help, even though we both knew very well that she wouldn't be able to.

I thought about what Niall had said, about a part of me resenting Avery, and maybe he was right. Avery had always been the pretty, perfect Bronwyn sister, the one everyone noticed. Even when she was pregnant, it was all about her. I could've gone to Yale or Harvard or Stanford, but I chose to follow her across the ocean, just so she wouldn't be alone. I wondered, if the roles were reversed, would she do the same for me?

Of course she would, I scolded myself. Avery loves you. But there was a part of me that was unsure.

I went up to her door and knocked on it, shuffling my feet together and waiting. It opened a moment later and I came face-to-face with my sister, holding Mason with the phone perched in the crook of her neck. She studied me for a second, eyebrows furrowed in that classic look I'd practically patented, before standing aside and going into the kitchen. I took that as an invitation inside.

I took off my shoes and my coat, standing in the living room awkwardly. "I'll call you back," I heard her say, and then Avery was walking back and standing in front of me. "And?" she said finally. "Have you come to yell at me some more?"

"No," I said, feeling my face flush a little. I reminded myself to be patient; she was, after all, my parents' daughter. This would not be a walk in the park. We both had an insane amount of pride, but it looked like I was going to have to put it aside. "I came to, um, apologize."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh really?" She went back into the kitchen, and I followed her, sitting down at the table across from Mason, who was sitting in his high chair.

I nodded. "It's your life, and I shouldn't tell you how to live it. I was just trying to watch out for you, but it was wrong of me to act like that, and I'm sorry. I hope . . . that you can forgive me."

"Yes, it was wrong of you," Avery said simply, unloading the dishwasher. "You think you know what's best for everybody, but you don't even really know what's good for yourself. Did you know that?"

"No," I said, gritting my teeth a little. "I didn't."

"Well, I'm telling you." My sister paused, putting her hands on her hips. "And it's getting tiring, Hero. It really is."

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I'm trying." I didn't really know what else to say.

Maybe it was the right thing, though, because Avery's face softened. "It's all right," she said, sighing. "Come here." I stood up and hugged her. I tried not to lean into the comforting scent of her perfume too obviously, but I couldn't help it. It kind of reminded me of my mom.

"Okay, okay," I said, pulling back. "So . . . tell me about your coffee with Noah. How did it go?"

"You sure you wanna hear?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Fine," Avery said, smiling a little. She poured both of us glasses of juice before sitting down next to Mason, letting him wrap his hand around her pointer finger as she spoke to me.

"So, we met up for coffee. And it was nice, I guess. He paid for it."

I whistled. "Wow. He went the whole nine yards."

"I know, right?" Avery snorted. "God. But yeah, so, we talked about a lot of stuff. He's still at that business firm, and he was asking about my new job. He asked about you, too."

"He did?"

"Yeah. He always liked you, remember?" I did remember. Noah had been a nice guy, up until the end, at least. "He asked how you were doing. I said you were good. And then he asked about Mason."

"He did? What did you tell him?"

"What was I supposed to do, lie? I told him Mason was fine. He'll be two in September. Stuff like that." She shrugged, and I got the feeling that she wasn't telling me everything.

"But?" I prompted.

She hesitated. "Then he said he wanted to be part of Mason's life more. Like, more involved."

I raised my eyebrows. "And what did you say?"

"What could I say? It's his kid too. And it's not like Noah and I broke it off because he was doing drugs or being abusive or whatever. It just wasn't working. He's got every right to see Mason."

"So, what? You and him are going to like, share him?"

"Well, Mason will still live here with me. Noah lives in like, a one-bedroom apartment in the middle of the city. I'd never let Mason stay there. But instead of me leaving him with you when I have to work late or on weekends, Noah will come here or I'll bring him over there for a few hours."

"So you're firing me," I said, half-joking.

She shrugged. "It's not like I was paying you in the first place. And you're eighteen, Hero, you shouldn't have to spend your time watching Mason."

"I don't mind."

"I know you don't. But I do." She leaned forward. "And while we're on the subject of all things you . . . how's Niall?"

"He's fine. He's the one who told me I should come apologize," I admitted, grinning.

"Smart man. So . . ." She cleared her throat. "Have you and him talked yet?"

"Talked about what?"

"You know . . . your relationship."

"We don't really have one."

"That's my point," Avery said. When I still didn't follow, she continued, "Hero, you and Niall spend a lot of time together, right?"

"Yes."

"And sometimes you go out to dinner, right?"

"If fast food counts, yes." Ever since that disastrous fancy date, Niall and I mostly stuck to greasy takeout and fast food. I didn't mind.

"And you have sex, right?"

"Avery."

"Right?"

"I mean, yeah."

"So that's technically a relationship. As in, you're his girlfriend. And he's your boyfriend."

"No."

"No?"

"No," I said firmly. "Niall and I are just . . . I don't know what we are. But we're not that. We just kind of do our own thing and we're both fine with that. It's good."

"Okay," Avery said slowly. "So . . . does that mean you, like, sleep with other guys too?"

"What? No, I don't sleep with other guys."

"What about Niall?"

"I'm pretty sure Niall doesn't sleep with guys, either," I said.

"Don't be a smartass. I meant, is he sleeping with anyone else?"

"I . . . I don't know." I faltered. Niall and I weren't technically together; we were sort of hovering between dating and friends with benefits. We'd never actually laid out any ground rules. For all I knew, Niall could be going around with every single girl on campus.

"Well, maybe you should ask?"

"But, like . . ." I paused, trying to put my words together correctly. "I don't want to make it seem like I care."

Instead of scolding me or rolling her eyes, Avery simply smiled at me. "It's okay to admit that you care about him," she told me, her voice gentle. "I know you don't really like to do that . . . but Niall's great."

"I know he is," I said, my voice small. I felt like such a kid.

My sister patted my hand. "Just consider it, Hero. I think you'll like the result."