Just Consider It

People were always commenting about how funny it was that Avery and I got along so well, considering we were almost complete opposites (aside from looking alike). Everything that Avery was, I wasn't: Avery was prom queen. Avery was head cheerleader. Avery was captain of the softball team. Avery went to parties. Teachers gushed over how sweet and friendly Avery Bronwyn was. All it took was one bat of her eyelashes and her C+ was magically raised to a B+. Everywhere she went, people were drawn to her, like plants stretching towards the sun.

I was valedictorian. I was in the Debate Club, the Latin Club, the Philosophy Club. I did track for about a year before I decided running was stupid. When teachers talked about me, it was to marvel over how gifted and bright I was. When an assignment was given, teachers could relax knowing that at least one student would hand it in and it would be A+ work: me.

I guess it was a pretty strange sight to witness, me and Avery walking in school together. Most sisters who were total opposites just left without each other, but Avery and I liked to walk together. Despite our radical differences, we were still pretty close. I made her feel smart, she said, and she made me feel normal.

Even so, there were some things and feelings that I kept to myself. Avery was always asking me why I didn't date anymore, why after Anthony I never bothered with a boyfriend. What she didn't know was that I did bother with dating around, but never with a boyfriend-boyfriend. Sometimes, I just wanted to sit down and think about everything, how my life had done a 180 so quickly.

But it was very hard to do that when your pushy, nosey, well-meaning big sister follows you around and begs you to babysit.

"Oh, come on, H, please," Avery pleaded, trailing behind me as I walked through her house, attempting to get out of there as fast as I could. "Mason misses you."

I had simply come over there to get back a shirt of mine that she'd borrowed for a business meeting at work, but then Avery had cornered me and demanded that I babysit for Mason that night.

"I told you, I can't," I told her. "I have to study tonight."

"With who?"

"Niall."

"You can study over here."

"No, we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't study and watch a baby at the same time," I said, slightly exasperated. Avery was trying to get back into the dating scene, and she was going to some weird speed dating thing at a restaurant in town.

"Here's a solution," Avery said slowly, like I was the dumb one, "you watch Mason, put him to sleep, turn on the baby monitor . . . and then you study." She widened her eyes at me as if to say, Isn't that amazing?

"Oh, fuck off."

"Come on Hero, please?" Avery picked Mason up from where he was sitting in his high chair and held him up like she was in The Lion King or something. "How can you say no to this face?" Mason blinked at me, unimpressed, probably used to his mother's lack of sanity.

You and me both, bud, I thought, and because I empathized with my poor nephew, I sighed and gave in. "All right, all right. I'll come here and see if Niall can come too."

"He likes Mason, and Mason likes him. This won't be a problem." My sister swung the baby onto her hip and said to him, "Whose auntie is gonna come over tonight? Whose auntie? Yours. Yours. Yours is." She turned to me. "Well?"

"Well what?" I was tired now, not having prepared for this ambush of Avery. I just really wanted my shirt back.

"Are you gonna call Niall or what?"

"Now?"

"No, tomorrow," Avery rolled her eyes. "Yes, now. Do it."

"Okay, okay." I pulled out my phone and called him, making a face at my sister.

"Yo."

"Hi, it's me."

"Hey, H. What's up?"

"So, you know my sister, right? And my nephew?"

"Yeah, what about them?"

"Well, my sister is going out tonight, and she asked me to watch Mason, and I thought that instead of cancelling on you, you could just come over to her place and then after I put Mason to bed we can do whatever or something."

There was silence. Then, Niall said agreeably, "Okay, cool. Same time?"

"Yeah." I gave him Avery's address. "See you then."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." I waited for him to hang up, but a few seconds passed and I could still hear him breathing. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you gonna hang up, or what?"

"Not until you do," Niall said. "I think it's rude to hang up first. So you go ahead, and then I'll hang up after you." He said it so affably, like it was obvious.

It was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, but I found myself laughing. "Are you serious?" Avery looked at me questioningly, but she smiled too. Avery loved it when I smiled, for reasons unknown. It wasn't like I was Elizabeth Taylor or anything, whose smile could've cured cancer if it wanted to, so.

"Yeah!" Niall sounded slightly offended. "I'm dead serious. Jesus, Hero, just hang up the fucking phone already. I'm losing battery."

"Okay, okay, I'm hanging up." I waited, just to see if I could fool him. I didn't know why I got such a kick out of it.

He didn't fall for it. "Hero! I can hear you breathing!"

I laughed. "Okay, fine. I will." I hung up for real that time, still snickering. Avery had her hands on her hips.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," I answered innocently. "Can I have my shirt back now?" I went into her room and opened her closet door. She was right on my tail, still giving me the third degree.

"What did he say?"

"He said he'd come."

"What were you laughing about?"

"I told you, nothing."

"Oh, so you were laughing at nothing."

"Right."

"Because dead air and a dial tone is so funny." Could she ever stop? I loved my sister, but she was just so . . . over-involved. I could see her years from now, at Mason's soccer (sorry, football) games, cheering him on and saying to the parents, 'That's my son right there! In the blue! Look!' and making friends with the coach and bringing the team snacks afterwards, because that was the kind of person she was.

"Wrong, it's fucking hilarious." I finally found the shirt, folding it up and tucking it under my arm. I dodged Avery and ran out of her room and down the hall. I paused to kiss Mason on the head before opening the front door. "See you at seven," I called over my shoulder.

"Hero Bronwyn!" was all I heard as I left. I checked to make sure she wasn't following before I slowed, ambling down the street. It was only four-thirty. Class had ended at three, so I'd gone back to my dorm, dropped my stuff off, and then went to Avery's house. I decided to pop into the coffee shop where Maggie worked and bug her for a bit before going home and getting ready.

* * *

At fifteen minutes before seven, there was a tap on my door. I looked up from my book, surprised. Maggie was asleep on her bed. Tyler usually called to ask if he could come over.

Niall was standing there when I opened it, looking the definition of casual in a black t-shirt and jeans. "Hiya," he said.

"Hi . . . what are you doing?"

"I thought we could walk over to your sister's together." I raised my eyebrows at him, and he flushed a little. "Plus I forgot where she lives."

"Ah." I bit back a smile. "I see. Let me just get my stuff." I shut the door, went back, and got my backpack, my keys, and my cell phone. I shook Maggie awake. "I'm leaving for Avery's, I'll be back soon."

She squinted. "So soon?"

"Me and Niall are gonna walk there. He's at the door."

She was wide awake instantly, giving me a sly grin. "Is he."

"Fuck off." I stuck my tongue out at her before turning to leave. Niall was still standing there when I opened the door, his hands in his pockets, looking idly at the ground.

"Who is fucking off?" he asked mildly.

"Nobody," I answered, shutting the door behind me. "Let's go."

"You look nice," he noted as we walked.

I looked down at myself. I was in a gray sweater, leggings, and moccasins, which wasn't even all that nice. I didn't even have my contacts in. I shrugged. "Thanks, I guess." We ambled along in comfortable silence. Occasionally, Niall would knock into me, sending me lurching sideways, and I would glare and try to do it back, but he would barely move, which only annoyed me even more, but he just laughed.

When we got to Avery's house, she let us in and gave me a hug, but flitted around Niall nervously like she didn't know how to greet him. He watched for a while, amused, before he finally gave her a nice little hug. When he let go, her face was bright red and she dithered around for a minute before going over emergency numbers and instructing us on where Mason's food was. Finally, she left.

"Oh my God," I said, snorting. "You totally just wanted to make her squirm, didn't you?"

He grinned. "Your sister's funny."

"She's funny all right . . . but not in a funny ha-ha way." I twirled my finger near my ear so he would get the point, sitting down on the couch and pulling out my books. Niall sat down next to me very carefully, like he was in the Queen of England's room or something.

"Don't wanna break anything," he explained when he saw me watching.

I rolled my eyes. "It's just Avery's house. It doesn't matter. She practically worships the ground you walk on."

He looked surprised. "Why?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Because you're you."

"I don't know why she does," he mumbled. "There's nothing to worship."

I didn't know what else to do, so I just adjusted my glasses and cleared my throat. "Okay, well, let's get started before Mason wakes up."

But apparently that wasn't going to happen. "Why do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Whenever any type of emotion gets involved in the conversation you change the subject. Why?"

I shifted, playing with the sleeve of my sweater. "I don't know. I just do." I began to feel uncomfortable. I had my reasons for avoiding emotional topics, but none that I felt the need to share at that particular moment. "Can we not talk about that?"

He looked like he wanted to say more, but nodded. We sat in an awkward silence for a second before he said, "Okay . . . anyways."

I gratefully jumped at the opprotunity to study, even if it was for a subject like psychology. Thanks to Niall's help, my grades were slowly but steadily improving. Professor Keen had merely resorted to giving me smug glances every time my grades were posted, which I tolerated, because as much as I hated admitting it, she was right. Niall and I were a good match, once we'd put our differences aside.

However, this time, we only got halfway through a chapter before we got bored and decided to make chocolate milk. As I was mixing the syrup, Niall put on the radio and a peppy Bruno Mars song began to play. Grinning, Niall began to bob his head and then started to full-on dance, gyrating his hips and trying to moonwalk and really giving it a go.

I started to laugh, which only made him smile bigger and exaggerate his moves even more. I began to dance too, although not as dramatically. Then, Niall grabbed my hand and twirled me around, moving my arms for me. I could barely move; I was cracking up so hard my stomach was hurting.

The song ended, and so did the moment, because then Mason started crying. Niall and I stopped dancing and looked at each other. "Uh-oh," I said finally. "I guess I'd better go get him."

"I guess so."

I went into Mason's room, where he was shrieking his head off like a siren, and picked him up. I cursed Niall for turning on the radio and distracting me and waking Mason up. "Come on, Mace," I said as soothingly as I could. "Let's go see Niall, okay? Let's go." I carried him into the kitchen, desperately bouncing my nephew in my arms. "Niall, help," I pleaded.

"Sniff him," Niall suggested. "Maybe he had to take a shit."

"I'm not sniffing his ass. You do it." If Avery had been there, she would've thrown a fit about our language, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment. Besides, Mason was too busy squealing like a pig to pay attention.

Niall cautiously leaned in and sniffed him before shaking his head. "No, he smells fine. Is he hungry?"

"Avery said she fed him."

"Maybe he needs his pacifier. Does he have one?"

"Oh yeah! Good idea. Here, you take him." I passed Mason to Niall before going back into Mason's room and locating the blue pacifier. I looked down at it fondly. Avery had her pacifier until she was around four or five, but I'd gotten rid of mine earlier than her. I never really had a use for it, since I hardly ever cried as a baby. I remembered liking my pacifier a lot, though, but my mother had thrown it out.

I shook myself out of the memories and hurried back to where Niall and Mason were. I started to go in the living room, but stopped short when I heard Niall talking. I peeked in and saw Mason sitting on Niall's lap. He was no longer crying; in fact, he looked perfectly content, gazing up at Niall as he talked.

"You know, you got a pretty sweet deal here," Niall was saying. "You got a house and clothes and stuff. I mean, it sucks that your dad isn't around, but you got your mum, right? She seems cool. Real cool." He hesitated. "And you got Hero."

I strained to hear more without revealing myself. He went on, "Now let me tell you something about your Aunt Hero, okay? She's fucking crazy. Literally, that girl goes from totally normal to complete apeshit in .5 seconds flat. Jesus. She's a piece of work. But you knew that.

"She absolutely hates talking about her feelings, although God knows why. Try to have a heart-to-heart and she runs away screaming. She's probably got her reasons, though, so I won't push. She used to hate me, but now she doesn't. Just as well, because I've saved her ass one too many times." I heard a little bit of a laugh mixed in there, and I rolled my eyes. "She's kinda like one of those chocolate mold ice cream cones, you know what I mean? She's got that hard shell on the outside, but on the inside she's probably all sweet and gooey and melty. Mmm, now that I think of it, I wish I had one of those . . .

"Anyway," Niall said, a little softer, "your aunt may be completely mad most of the time, and she's definitely a force to be reckoned with, but she loves you. And she loves Avery. And I know she can be a little . . . you know. And she's always stressed and bitter and angry and I think maybe even sad. But you know something, buddy? When she smiles, it's like . . . I don't know. But she's got a killer smile. She really does." He was silent for a second. "Jesus, how long does it take to find a pacifier?"

I waited a second before coming in and handing Mason his pacifier. "Sorry . . . it took me a while to find it."

"No worries."

The rest of the night was uneventful. The pacifier got Mason to go back to sleep, so we put him down and went back to studying. All through the night, though, I couldn't stop thinking of what Niall had said.

"And I know she can be a little . . . you know. And she's always stressed and bitter and angry and I think maybe even sad. But you know something, buddy? When she smiles, it's like . . . I don't know. But she's got a killer smile. She really does."

I never really thought of myself having a nice smile before. It was just one of those things I never noticed, never really cared about, never really used. I kept self-consciously touching my mouth, wondering what was so great about it. It made a very weird feeling arise in my stomach, one I recognized all too well, even though I'd thought it was long dormant.

As Niall and I walked home, I turned and looked at him, studying his profile. "But she's got a killer smile. She really does." He glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing," I said, shrugging. It was a nice night for November. It was cold, but the sky was mostly clear, and the stars were out. I smiled at him with my teeth and everything, trying my best to look happy.

He looked surprised for a second, but then he smiled back. "I like it when you smile," he told me.

I wanted to say, I know, but held my tongue, hooking my arm through his instead. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. No one's ever told you that?"

"Nope."

Niall scrunched his eyebrows together. "Not even Tyler?"

"No."

"Huh. Well, let me be the first to say it."

"Okay." Again, I felt that warm sensation growing in my stomach, but I stopped it, because those types of feelings called for everything that I was not.