Hazy Days

My mother calls me on Christmas morning. It's the first time I've heard from her for nearly a year.

"So how's Joe doing?" she asks after the 'Merry Christmas' greeting.

"He's fine," I don't correct her.

"Well. That's good, then. But Victoria, how are you? Really?"

"I'm fine."

Even through the phone, I can tell she's getting angry. It's that polite, passive type of anger, too, that makes me feel like an irrational child for getting upset. "Victoria, I know things have been... difficult, between us. I really do apologize about that school thing. But you know..." I listen to her go on about how it's all my fault, if I wanted to be accepted into my family's loving embrace again, all I'd have to do is leave Joel and go home, that she's ashamed of her only daughter for living like a street urchin.

She didn't say that in those words, exactly, but I got her drift. "Shawn says hello, by the way. He wanted me to wish you a Merry Christmas." My eyes sting at the mention of my little brother. He's only eight and the only person I truly miss from home. I guess she got fed up from my not saying anything, and we hang up shortly after. I put the phone back in it's charger and lie on the couch. The diner is closed today, but I have to be there at eight tomorrow morning. I turn on the tv and flip through holiday movies until I settle on one I used to watch all the time when I was younger. The memory brings a wry smile to my face and I light a cigarette.

"Merry Christmas, babe!" Joel strolls in, grinning widely. He's carrying a small box box and places it underneath the tiny little tree we decorated. Joel was gone when I woke up- nearly three hours ago- but I'm used to his disappearances. Sometimes I don't see him for days and he never offers any explanation. I know it must have something to do about the work he's doing for Jones, but I try not to dwell on it. Now he sits beside me and kisses me.

"Merry Christmas," I find myself saying. This is our third Christmas together. He takes my hand with both of his and kisses my palm.

"I think this is gonna be a good year. Do you feel it? I can feel it in my bones. The world better watch the fuck out, 'cause here comes Victoria and Joel!" he says dramatically, planting kisses up my neck and to my temple. I giggle. He lets me go after kissing my lips again and stands up. "But first, hold on. I have something for you." He grabs the box he brought in with him and sets it on the couch next to me.

"I thought we were going to open presents after dinner?"

"Trust me, Vic. Just open it." Joel is nearly beside him with excitement and it makes me smile. And the box... whines? I gasp.

"What is this, Joel?"

"Just open it!"

The box gives a little yelp and I undo the ribbon. Oh no, he did not, I tell myself. He's not really doing this. Joel hates-

"Oh!" the puppy looks up at me with big, expectant eyes. It jumps out and crawls on my lap, licking my arm and hand. It's a tiny little pug and makes snorting noises. I'm in love with it already. "You got me a puppy, Joel?"

Joel knocks the box onto the ground and sits again. "Well, yeah. You told me once how you always wanted a dog, but your mom was allergic. So I thought, why not?" he shrugs and I love him so much right then. Tears actually come to my eyes.

"Joel, that's- this is the best present I've ever received. Thank you," I kiss his cheek.