Rosie

You’d think that after what happened at the beach I’d be more willing to open up to people. You’d think that maybe I’d be less of a secretive bitch. You might even think that I’d tell Jimmy why I was upset. Well I’m sorry to say that you’d be very wrong on all of these accounts.

After crying on Jimmy I asked Dawn to take me home. I’d woken up from whatever miserable place I was in mentally and was now more embarrassed than anything else. She didn’t ask any questions and the entire ride home was silent. I just needed to be alone for awhile and focus on making money; I was supposed to go back to New York in September for a week to visit my parents. This was something I couldn’t miss.

A few weeks went by and all I did was work my ass off. I didn’t go out, I didn’t see anyone other than Dawn and I actually asked my boss to give me extra hours so I could save up for the trip. I’d come home from work late and Dawn would ask if I wanted to go out with Val and the guys but I always said I was too tired. Then sometimes a few of the guys would be over and they’d ask if I wanted to go out drinking with them. I’d usually give them the same answer or say I had work early in the morning and it wouldn’t be a good idea. I’d stopped spending money on alcohol for the most part but I couldn’t kick the cigarette habit. In fact, I found myself smoking more than usual. I figured it was a combination of not drinking and being stressed.

It was July 31st and it was a Wednesday. Working as usual, I spent my break time smoking on the side of Barnes and Noble, not even concerned about lunch because I wasn’t hungry. I’d lost my appetite lately and I was more than sure I’d lost a few pounds, which in my case didn’t hurt to lose. Joining me on a smoke break was my coworker Annie, a girl I’d bonded with over the past few weeks, seeing as we were both working nonstop. She had a few inches on me in height and large blue eyes with a light blonde pixie cut.

‘’Hey Princess, how’s it going?’’ she asked, plopping next to me on the pavement and lighting up a cigarette of her own. I shrugged in response, taking a long drag.

‘’It’s going, I guess. You know, I saw you and David making out in the History section earlier…again.’’ I smiled at the embarrassment showing on her face, tapping the ash off my cigarette. ‘’That’s like the third time this week I accidentally stumbled across you two.’’

‘’Oops,’’ she grinned, puffing out a few smoke rings. ‘’We have a hard time controlling ourselves sometimes.’’

‘’I’ve noticed,’’ I laughed, ‘’but so has a good part of the staff so if I were you I’d be more careful.’’

She nodded. ‘’Will do, I’ll make sure to inform Candy Lips.’’ That was something she loved to call David and he hated it.

‘’So what are your plans for tonight, hm?’’ I questioned, taking a quick drag and blowing the smoke from the side of my mouth.

‘’I think David’s taking me out, we’ve been together for a year now,’’ she grinned sheepishly.

I thought how ironic it was that the three females I associated myself with were all love-obsessed while I was completely opposed to it, at least for myself. ‘’That’s great, congratulations,’’ I said sincerely.

Annie fiddled around with a necklace that hung from her neck. ‘’Thanks. How about you? Do you have your eye on anyone?’’

A certain face appeared in my head but I disregarded him to the best of my abilities. ‘’Nope,’’ I replied, popping the ‘p’.

‘’Okay, well how about hook-ups?’’

‘’Nada,’’ I laughed dryly.

She looked at me for a minute. ‘’When was the last time you were with anyone at all?’’

I pondered for a moment. ‘’I don’t remember. Is that bad?’’

She patted me on the shoulder. ‘’Do yourself a favor and get out tonight. Go to a bar or something, maybe hook-up with somebody. But be smart about it.’’

As if right on cue my phone started going off. I told Annie to hold on a second and picked up, checking the caller ID first. ‘’Hey Gates.’’

‘’Hey Rosie, you’re not working tonight, right?’’ he asked.

‘’I get off at seven. Why do you ask?’’

‘’Tonight is Shads’ birthday and we’re all throwing him a party at me and Jimmy’s place. It’ll be fun, you’ll get to meet a few new people and there will be plenty of alcohol. Dawn says you’d better come or she’ll drag you here by your ankles.’’

Dawn would definitely say something like that. ‘’Alright, yeah I’ll be there. I’ll go home and change and then pick up a present of some sort.’’

‘’Okay cool, it starts at eight but if you’re a bit late don’t worry about it,’’ Brian said.

‘’Okay, see you guys tonight.’’

‘’Later.’’

We hung up and Annie was looking at me with anticipation. I blinked.

‘’What?’’

‘’Well? Are you going to tell me who the hell that was?’’ she asked in exasperation.

‘’It was my friend Brian, he was just inviting me to our friend’s birthday party for tonight,’’ I shrugged, stomping out my cigarette.

‘’But this is perfect! Go get drunk, have some fun, and maybe get with somebody, yeah?’’

I laughed and got up. ‘’You are way too enthusiastic about getting me laid. It’s a sickness, really.’’

She got up too and followed me back inside. ‘’I’m just hoping it’ll make you less of a bitch to work with,’’ she smirked, nudging me in the side playfully.

I rolled my eyes. ‘’If it happens, it happens.’’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After work I was faced with the task of figuring out what the hell to get Matt. I settled on buying him a nice big bottle of Jack Daniels, tying a black bow around it. No one could say I don’t pay attention to what people like. I stopped home and changed into a pair of black shorts and a red lacey tank top. I left my hair as it was but put on some red eye shadow and a thin layer of eyeliner. I didn’t want to go too over the top but I wanted to look decent enough to where I looked, you know, somewhat desirable. I put on a pair of little black ankle boots and deemed myself suitable to go out, feeling a small pit of nervousness in my stomach.

I arrived at Brian and Jimmy’s apartment fifteen minutes later. Muffled music could be heard as I neared their door and I silently wondered what their neighbors must’ve been thinking. I knocked a few times, waiting with the bottle of Jack behind my back until the door swung open. Val quickly engulfed me in a hug.

‘’Hey hun! We’ve missed you, I’m so glad you could make it,’’ she grinned, taking my hand and leading me inside. Someone had set up two large speakers in the living room which were blaring out Helena by The Misfits. There were a few people I didn’t recognize but other than that it was the usual group. Jimmy had tied a tie around his head and was dancing all over the place, knocking into people and seemingly not giving a fuck about what he was doing. Brian and Matt were playing beer pong with two people I didn’t recognize. Dawn was talking animatedly to Johnny about something, both of them with beers in hand, while Zacky seemed to be deep in conversation with a guy who had short dark hair and a goatee. I didn’t recognize him either.

Val pulled me over to Zacky and the other guy first, asking if she could interrupt for a second.

‘’Rosie, this is Cam Rackam. He’s our good friend and is responsible for the album artwork on Sounding the Seventh Trumpet, as well as the artwork that’ll be on Waking the Fallen. Also, he designed the Deathbat.’’ She turned to Cam. ‘’This is our dear friend Rosie, and if I’m correct she’s also a bit of an artist.’’

I smiled politely. ‘’Hi, Val’s just trying to make it look like I actually do important things with my life. I dabble in art but I wouldn’t say I’m an artist.’’

He laughed, shaking my hand. ‘’Nice to meet you. What sort of art do you dabble in?’’

‘’I usually just sketch with pencils, sometimes charcoal if I feel like it. I haven’t really painted anything since high school but I like creating artwork that has to do with mythical creatures,’’ I replied.

‘’Really? That’s pretty cool, it’s actually similar to the sort of stuff I do. You should show me some of your work sometime, if you wouldn’t mind. If you’re really good I might be able to put in a good word for you at the company I work for. They’re always looking for new creative minds,’’ he said.

‘’Oh wow, yeah that’d be awesome. Thank you,’’ I said sincerely. We exchanged numbers and he said we could organize a day to exchange portfolios, even though I technically didn’t have one. I made a mental note to get on that as soon as possible.

I talked to Cam and Zacky for a few minutes before going over to the table where beer pong was being held, tapping Matt on the shoulder.

‘’Happy birthday, good sir,’’ I said, handing him the bottle I’d brought. ‘’This is not to be given to anyone else, this is yours.’’

‘’Thanks, Rosie,’’ he grinned, giving me a big hug.

Matt had decided to give him and Val a chance as an actual couple. From what she’d told me they were taking things slow but both of them seemed really happy.

‘’This is Matt and Jason Berry, our tour roadies and two people we all fucking love. Berry boys, this is Rosie, our resident hardass and newest recruit to our dysfunctional family.’’ Something upon hearing Matt say those last words gave me this elated feeling in my chest and I couldn’t help but smile. I shook hands with the Berry brothers before greeting Brian with an elbow in the side at the precise moment he was throwing the beer pong ball, making him miss.

I walked over to where Dawn and Johnny were talking but not before taking a shot of Fireball Whiskey, grabbing a beer on the way.

‘’Hey lovely,’’ Dawn smiled, throwing an arm around my shoulders, ‘’glad you could make it, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drag you out myself and you didn’t disappoint.’’

I rolled my eyes and sipped at my beer. ‘’I tend to surprise people sometimes. How’re you, Johnny?’’

‘’I’m pretty good, how-‘’

And Johnny didn’t get to finish his sentence, because at that precise moment Jimmy swooped in out of seemingly nowhere and picked me up, engulfing me in a bone-crushing hug.

‘’I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!’’ Jimmy yelled, clinging to me tightly and swinging me around. My arms were firmly at my sides and I wasn’t able to move or breathe. Dawn had dutifully grabbed my beer before I could drop it.

‘’Hello,’’ I coughed out, breathing a sigh of relief when he put me down and I felt my lungs return to their normal size. He looked at me with a grin the size of the moon on his face, grabbing my hands and making me dance with him to the music. He looked so silly with the tie flapping around his head but even with that he looked good, wearing his Jack Daniels shirt and cargo shorts. I went along with him and danced like a goofball, kicking my feet around and twirling him with difficulty due to our vast difference in height. We stepped on each other’s feet a few times and kept bursting into fits of laughter, my cheeks actually hurting from laughing so much. I could see Dawn and Johnny watching us from the corner of my eye, both of their faces looking astounded at how carefree and cheerful I was acting. Honestly I wasn’t sure what’d come over me but I didn’t try to think about it too much; I was trying to have fun and dancing like an idiot with Jimmy seemed like a fun thing to do. And it was.

He suddenly dipped me and I had a brief moment of panic where I thought he was going to drop me on my ass. He didn’t; I froze when our eyes met for the hundredth time since we first met and that familiar feeling coursed all throughout my body. I didn’t do anything about it; in fact I wasn’t even sure I knew what was appropriate to do. He didn’t seem very sure either but after a moment he straightened himself up, helping me into a standing position.

I coughed, rubbing my forearm awkwardly. ‘’I’m gonna go get a drink,’’ I said, walking back over to Dawn. She didn’t say a word to me but instead gave me a knowing look. I didn’t meet her eyes and took my beer back, taking a long gulp. I knew I could’ve lived in denial as long as I liked, and I chose to do just that, but no one could’ve denied that Dawn knew what was going to happen long before it even occurred.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’Just do it, can’t you see the way he’s looking at you? You couldn’t cut through the sexual tension in here if you even tried because there’s so goddamn much of it.’’

A few hours had passed and I lost count of how many drinks I’d gone through. After a round of beer pong I did some shots with Matt and Jason Berry, which quickly turned into a competition. They teamed up against me, being so damn confident in their drinking abilities that if one of them threw up they’d both lose. I felt a great sense of drunken satisfaction when Jason had to rush to the sink so he could be sick. His brother cursed loudly before stumbling over to Jason to see if he was okay. With a grin on my face I wobbled over to Val, sighing in relief when she grabbed my arm and helped me sit down on the couch next to her. We chatted idly for awhile, neither of our minds thinking too clearly. I wasn’t even sure how I was forming coherent sentences at this point because the room was spinning and the music pounded on my eardrums more than ever. Val looked across the room, nudging me in the side.

Upon doing that she almost made me fall off the couch but she pulled me up quickly. ‘’Shit, sorry.’’ And then she said it, the sentence two paragraphs up.

I didn’t even blink. ‘’Just do what? Who’s looking at me?’’ I mumbled, following her line of vision. Jimmy, minus the tie on his head, stood on the other side of the room with a beer in hand, seemingly supposed to be having a conversation with Cam and Brian, but his eyes were firmly glued on me in a way that sent this weird tingle down my spine. Annie’s words from earlier echoed in the back of my mind and I actually considered it for a moment.

‘’I don’t know,’’ I replied blankly, ‘’would that be a good idea?’’

She shrugged. ‘’Who knows? Don’t listen to me, I said weird shit when I’m drunk,’’ she laughed, excusing herself to go get another drink.

I decided I needed a quick nicotine fix and tried not to fall to my death on the three flights of stairs it took to get to the lobby, clinging to the handrail for dear life. I opened the doors and stepped outside, searching my pockets for my crumpled box of Marlboros. I pulled one out and looked up, noticing Zacky was already outside smoking a cigarette. He saw me struggling to find a lighter and lit mine for me.

‘’Thanks, Zee.’’ He nodded, taking a long drag. We both stood in silence, not really having anything to say. The sudden absence of loud music left room for my intoxicated brain to think a little. I was so busy fantasizing about what it’d be like to fool around with Jimmy that it took me a few minutes to realize that Zacky was trying to talk to me about something.

‘’What?’’ I asked, coming out of my trance and taking a quick puff of my cigarette.

‘’I said, what the hell is going on with you and Jimmy? You’ve been acting weird around each other all night.’’

I coughed on the smoke I’d just inhaled, taking a moment to breathe. ‘’What’re you talking about, Zeecky?’’

‘’Okay, when you start saying ‘’Zeecky’’ that’s when I know you’re definitely drunk. And you know exactly what I’m talking about,’’ he laughed, taking a long drag.

I didn’t do anything for a moment. ‘’Why do you wanna know what’s going on? Hmmmm?’’

He shrugged. ‘’I figured I’d ask. I wasn’t really expecting to get an actual answer out of you but I tried asking Jimbo and he kept changing the subject.’’

I didn’t give him an answer but instead finished my cigarette and went back inside. I hobbled up the staircase, frustrated that there was no elevator, and entered their apartment again. The party was still going strong and everyone seemed to be busy with something or another. I did a few more shots before Jimmy approached me.

‘’Can I help you?’’ I asked coyly, leaning on the kitchen counter so as to steady myself. Jimmy’s face was very hard to read; it was obvious he’d been drinking but he wasn’t intoxicated to the point where he didn’t know what he was doing. Something told me he had at least a vague idea.

He leaned down a little so his face was a bit more level with mine. ‘’I think we should probably talk,’’ he mumbled, his eyes darting around the room.

I giggled, my brain heading steadily toward the blackout end of the drinking spectrum. ‘’Talk about what, Jimby?’’ I slurred, leaning a little closer.

He shook his head. ‘’Not out here, I’d rather do it in private.’’

I nodded obliviously, following Jimmy into the bathroom a few minutes after he went in. No one seemed to be focusing on us but I couldn’t be sure; I wasn’t exactly thinking.

The door closed and Jimmy and I looked at each other for a long while. Or maybe it wasn’t a long while and instead it was only a few minutes, maybe even seconds. The concept of time was completely foreign to me at this point, which is why I don’t know exactly when or how I ended up pinning Jimmy against the wall.

My body was pressed up against his and our faces were very close to each other. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and the sweat that clung to his shirt. I felt his heart pounding in his chest as we both did nothing for a moment, his eyes seeing into mine like a window. All I could hear was Annie in the back of my head saying ‘’be smart about it’’ and me saying ‘’if it happens, it happens’’.

‘’You wanted us to talk?’’ I asked quietly. Jimmy didn’t answer for a minute; he seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle.

‘’I did,’’ he replied slowly, ‘’but I dunno if that’d be smart, we’re both pretty drunk.’’

‘’We’d probably forget everything we said by the morning,’’ I commented.

‘’Yeah,’’ he agreed. I was going to say something about how this probably also wasn’t the best idea, but any thought of saying that flew out the window when Jimmy flipped us around, pushing me against the wall. I gasped in surprise and grabbed the collar of his shirt in fistfuls, pulling him down to me far enough so that my lips could collide with his. My breath caught in my throat and I smirked a little when I felt him return the kiss eagerly, the cold metal of his labret stud brushing against my bottom lip. He took my face in his hands and I allowed him to deepen the kiss when his tongue asked for entry, our tongues dancing together with the fire of long-awaited sexual tension. This had been a long time coming but deep down I knew I wouldn’t remember any of this, and for the moment that was okay. I just wanted Jimmy’s lips to never leave mine and for our clothes to be on the damn floor.

His hands started sliding up my shirt, leaving Goosebumps in their wake, before cupping and squeezing my breasts through my bra. I moaned quietly in approval against his lips; I couldn’t recall the last time someone did that and it automatically drove me wild, my response being to bite and pull on his bottom lip to keep from being too loud.

There was a sudden knock on the door and we both froze, wide-eyed.

‘’Someone’s in here,’’ Jimmy managed to say.

‘’Dude, can you hurry up? I really need to go,’’ the person answered. It sounded like one of the Berry brothers.

Jimmy cursed under his breath. ‘’Yeah, dude, I’ll be right out.’’ He turned to me and mouthed the words ‘’hide in the tub’’. I nodded without question and fixed my shirt, stumbling over to the tub and climbing in as quietly as I could before pulling the shower curtain closed. Jimmy flushed the toilet and briefly turned on the sink to make it sound like he’d actually gone in there to use the bathroom. He left and the other person came in; I was curled up in the tub and didn’t make a sound. However, when I realized that the person who needed the bathroom was taking a shit instead of peeing quickly and leaving, I wanted to kill myself because fuck that was disgusting. I covered my nose and closed my eyes, trying to wait patiently for them to leave so I could breathe fresh air again. They ended up taking so long that I couldn’t stay awake any longer and I ended up passing out in Jimmy and Brian’s bathtub, thus ruining any possible chance there might’ve been to finish what Jimmy and I had started.