Rosie

‘’So, you’re the girl who’s fucking Jimmy, right?’’

My eyes went wide and I nearly spit out my water. ‘’Excuse me?! What the fuck are you talking about?’’

Johnny stopped tuning his bass to look at me, quickly realizing that he should’ve kept his mouth shut. ‘’Well I just assumed-‘’

‘’Don’t assume anything,’’ I glared, ‘’I am most certainly not fucking Jimmy, and if you ever tell people that I am I will shove that bass so far up your ass that no doctor will be able to remove it. Understood?’’

He nodded and grabbed his water bottle, moving far away from me in a timely fashion. I let out a sigh and drank more water, a bit agitated. We were at The Pit and it was about an hour before the guys performed. Dawn called and told me she was leaving work and I’d better not drink without her. I couldn’t even though I wanted to; the bar didn’t open until the show started so I was stuck with a water bottle for the time being. We were all lounging around the small backstage area, the guys tuning their guitars, Jimmy twirling his drumsticks around while Matt and Val were having a hushed conversation not too far away. This left me by myself since I didn’t know how to socialize without throwing in a threat of some sort.

I was pathetic.

I saw the guys light up cigarettes. So smoking was allowed, then? I pulled out one of my own and lit it, inhaling deeply. Ah, sweet, poisonous smoke that I’d become so fond of. It made me feel better. I peeked out from behind the curtain that hid the backstage. People were starting to come in already, a few even wearing Avenged Sevenfold t-shirts. I had a feeling the place was going to be packed.

A gentle hand on my shoulder almost startled me. I closed the curtain and turned around to find Val, a smile on her face. She too wore an Avenged shirt; black with a skull and skeletal wings.

‘’Are you excited?’’ she asked.

‘’A bit, yeah,’’ I replied, sipping my water. I noticed she was carrying a duffle bag. ‘’What’s that for?’’ I asked, motioning to it.

She set it down on the floor and unzipped it, revealing a bunch of CD copies of Sounding the Seventh Trumpet. ‘’I’m going around after the show and selling them for five dollars each,’’ she explained, picking out a CD and examining it, ‘’a little advertising doesn’t hurt.’’

I took a quick drag from my cigarette. ‘’Do you need any help with that?’’ I asked.

Val looked more than relieved at my offer. ‘’That would be great. I’m so overworked right now, I kind of wish I was still in bed,’’ she laughed, slinging the bag over her shoulder and getting up. I smiled, noticing Jimmy was headed this way.

‘’I’ll talk to you about it after the show?’’ she asked.

I nodded and finished my cigarette, stomping it out with my boot. Jimmy ruffled up Val’s hair as she walked off, looking at me with his ever-present grin. I never understood how he was always so happy all the time. I gave him a polite smile in return.

‘’A certain pussy ass guitar player whose name starts with a Z wanted me to ask you if Dawn is still coming,’’ Jimmy said, rolling his eyes. I glanced behind him to find Zacky staring at the ceiling intently, blowing smoke rings. He was very bad at being nonchalant.

‘’Tell chicken shit not to get his panties in a bunch, she just left work,’’ I replied, half laughing.

Jimmy nodded and his eyes glanced me over. It was a quick movement but I still noticed it; I would never admit it aloud, but it made me feel a little self conscious.

‘’You’re looking lovely,’’ he smiled, his face one of pure innocence. I felt my face flush a little.

‘’Thanks,’’ I replied, trying to hide the fact that Jimmy was making me feel things. I liked it better when our conversations were laced with booze; there was less of a chance that I’d feel awkward and uncomfortable. ‘’You’re not looking too bad yourself.’’

Jimmy really did look good, dare I say it. His tousled black hair gave him an almost boyish charm, eyes happy and bright coupled with his infamous smile. He wore a simple Jack Daniels shirt and black jeans. I kept looking at that labret piercing of his. I was fond of it. A very very small part of me insisted that I was becoming fond of him in general, which I ignored. A slightly larger part of me couldn’t deny, however, that he was attractive.

‘’Why thank you, my lady.’’ He did a funny little bow and I laughed to cover the awkward butterflies that I felt in my stomach.

He looked at me with curiosity after a minute. ‘’You don’t laugh very often.’’ It wasn’t a question but a statement. I abruptly stopped laughing. ‘’No, you have a cute laugh!’’ he protested.

I shook my head, tight lipped. Jimmy proceeded to pout and silence enveloped us, apart from the laughter of his band mates in the background. Being socially awkward is the curse of all curses.

‘’You know, you’re not as frightening as you let on to be,’’ he finally said casually, pulling a flask of some alcoholic beverage from his back pocket and sipping it. I eyed it greedily. ‘’You gave Johnny a good scare, but I know better.’’

He just had to fucking ruin it. He could’ve just said ‘’I’ll see you after the show’’ and gone back to his friends, but he had to pry further into my life. He didn’t know me.

Whatever trace of a smile there was on my face was now gone. ‘’What makes you think you know me already?’’ I frowned, folding my arms over my chest. My defensive mode had officially been activated.

He smiled, putting the flask away. ‘’You can learn a lot about someone in a week, Rosie.’’

I tried to keep my anger under wraps but I was having a hard time. I was hoping Dawn would hurry the fuck up and get there already. ‘’You don’t want to know me,’’ I said simply, trying to walk past him only for him to grab my forearm. I spun around on my heel, my anger flaring up again.

‘’But see, I do want to know you,’’ he said softly, his blue eyes meeting my hazel ones in a hard gaze. I was almost sure I’d stopped breathing. ‘’Let me in.’’ I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. ‘’I just want to be your friend.’’

I snapped myself out of it, pulling my arm away hastily. I’d had enough of his poking and prodding, trying to get me to open up. I wasn’t having any of it.

‘’Get in line,’’ I said firmly, stalking off and pushing open the back door, letting it slam behind me.

My fingers trembled as I tried to light up a cigarette. I hated it when people tried to get me to open up. If I wanted to I’d do it on my own time, otherwise it just wasn’t happening. Most people found this quality of mine to be more trouble than I’m worth, so they’d leave. I was sure it was only a matter of time until Jimmy and his friends did the same. I wasn’t fooling anyone; I was a downright pain in the ass.

I coughed when I held in the smoke for too long, kicking my water bottle across the empty back parking lot. It was damn obvious at this point that I was in a pissy mood, when really I should’ve been excited about the show. Sue me; it wasn’t a surprise to anyone.

I brushed my fingertips through my hair absentmindedly, blowing out more smoke. Jimmy’s icy blue eyes kept appearing in my mind and the thought of them, of him, made me weak in the knees. I thought perhaps I was having a stroke. What the fuck was wrong with me? Men don’t make me weak in the knees; they never had and they certainly never would ever again. It’s probably the lack of alcohol, I told myself. Being sober always made my thoughts run wild.

I’d just started on my second cigarette when the back door banged open. Dawn took one look at me and rolled her eyes, grabbing my cigarette and tossing it away. I frowned.

‘’That was a perfectly good smoke that you just threw away.’’

She ignored me. ‘’They’re about to start, so get your ass inside and quit being a drama queen before I send you to Siberia.’’

I didn’t even have it in me to argue with her, the sounds of anxious, screaming people meeting my ears the second we walked back inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’How the fuck are you, Huntington Beach?!’’ Matt screamed into the microphone. I was right; it ended up being a full house that night. I caught a whiff of someone in the crowd smoking a joint and I scrunched up my nose at the smell. Dawn, Val and I had miraculously managed to get right up front by the stage, which was low so the guys didn’t tower over us all too much. Hanging on the curtains behind them was a black banner, bearing the winged skull symbol. I caught a glimpse of Jimmy in the back with his complicated looking drum set. He was all business, no smiles, and I felt a small pang of guilt as I wondered whether or not I was the cause of this. That centimeter of guilt went away when I realized that he was shirtless, his lean chest and arms bearing a multitude of tattoos. I had to force myself to stop staring.

‘’We are Avenged Sevenfold, and we’re here to rock your fucking faces off!’’ Matt continued, receiving some yells and screams from the crowd in return. Val threw in a cat call.

Two seconds later, Brian started in on the familiar notes of To End the Rapture. Anyone who knew the lyrics belted right along with Matt, the three of us included. I felt as though I were a part of something so much larger than me. It felt…nice.

‘’The wind of life and air from above smells of death, angels sing of the end, nothing you say and nothing you try will change time, human race prepares to die!’’ Matt’s voice echoed throughout the small establishment, Jimmy throwing in a few extra drum beats at the end. The crowd cheered before they launched into Turn the Other Way.

At some point during the show a mosh pit had started, and…well it was kind of my fault. I’d gone off to grab a beer and I couldn’t get back through the crowd. This guy kept shoving me out of the way so I responded the only way I knew how to: I punched him in the face, knocking him into someone else, who then started punching everyone around him. I had to mosh my way back up to the front, and by the time I got there my lip was bleeding and I was pretty sure I’d have a black eye the next day. I’d smashed my beer bottle over the black eye giver’s head, though. It was all in good fun.

Dawn looked at me when I finally appeared next to her, wiping away the blood that was trickling down my chin. ‘’Mosh pit?!’’ she asked, screaming over the music. I nodded, a grin on my face. I loved mosh pits.

Their set list ended with An Epic of Time Wasted. I was fairly certain I had no voice once they were done; I’d screamed along so loud that I sounded like a frog after awhile, but it was worth it. We had a blast.

Dawn and I followed Val backstage where the guys had already started drinking and celebrating, all of them covered in sweat. Another band had taken the stage, but from how they sounded, Avenged Sevenfold had stolen the show.

‘’Great show, guys!’’ Val smiled, going around and giving them hugs despite the vast amounts of perspiration.

‘’You were really great,’’ Dawn said sincerely. Zacky’s smile widened when she went over and embraced him in a hug.

‘’I started a mosh pit,’’ I said offhandedly, motioning to my split lip, ‘’oh, and you guys kicked ass.’’

‘’Oh no, we’ve got a badass over here,’’ Brian announced. I glared and snatched his beer away.

‘’I was going to commend you on your guitar playing but never mind,’’ I shrugged, finishing off his beer. He pulled another one out of seemingly nowhere and I rolled my eyes.

‘’Do you need ice for your lip?’’ Val asked. I was about to answer when Jimmy walked past me in all his shirtless glory. I stuttered for a moment.

‘’N-no, it’s nothing I can’t handle,’’ I replied, collecting myself and looking around frantically. ‘’Is there any JD back here?’’

Johnny handed me some and I thanked him, taking a long pull from the bottle. My throat burned and I swear my head floated for a second, but I felt like myself again. No more gawking at men, no matter how sexy they may be. I wanted to get drunk, really really drunk. I wanted pain and emotions to be foreign. I craved to be so far gone that my thoughts would become a speck on the horizon, and I was the ship out at sea.

We hung around backstage until the other band finished their set, meaning everyone would be over at the bar. I was pretty buzzed when Val handed me the CDs I was to sell, and I had to make sure I didn’t drop any or fall over. Jimmy hadn’t said a word to me after the show, and that was perfectly fine with me. He was busy chatting up a brunette over at the bar, and far be it from me to stop him from playing bingo or getting laid or whatever it was he did with women. I wasn’t too happy with him at that moment anyway. In other news, Zacky Chicken-Shit-Who-Has-No-Balls Vengeance had yet to make any sort of move on Dawn. I didn’t know what he was waiting for. I was pretty sure Dawn didn’t even know of his interest in her. She never really did catch onto things easily.

I went around for about an hour, trying to sell the CDs to people despite the amounts of awkward practically emanating from my body. I just wanted to get them all sold so I could drink delicious toxins that I adored so much. When I’d finally finished I had to work hard to track down Val, nearly giving up until I spotted her talking to Dawn.

‘’Here, I got rid of all of it.’’ I pulled the wad of cash from my pocket, handing it to her. She took a moment to count it up.

‘’One hundred and fifty-five dollars. Nice!’’ she grinned, nudging me slightly.

‘’Thanks,’’ I said, smiling and gladly taking the shot that Dawn handed me, letting out a sigh.

‘’We should have some sort of a girl’s night,’’ Dawn commented, a Guinness in hand, ‘’you know, watch movies, talk gossip, the shit we did when we were in high school.’’

Val and I looked at each other before agreeing. I actually liked Val and I saw myself becoming good friends with her, so the possibility of the three of us hanging out more often was an idea I was open to.

‘’I can’t tonight, but would sometime this week be okay?’’ Val asked, sticking her hair up into a ponytail.

‘’Definitely, we’ll figure it out later,’’ I told them. Through the crowd I caught a glimpse of Zacky. ‘’I’ll be right back.’’

Maneuvering my way up to him, I quickly realized he was with the rest of the guys, laughing and drinking, having a wonderful time. Well, that was too fucking bad because I wanted to talk to him. I tapped him on the shoulder.

‘’I need to talk to you, Zee.’’

He stopped his conversation with Matt abruptly and looked at me. ‘’What’s up, Rosie?’’

‘’I’d prefer to speak with you privately,’’ I replied, giving the guys a look that clearly said, ‘’move your asses away before I start making a scene’’. They did just that, which was a good thing because I didn’t want to get blood on my good boots. This left Zacky standing there awkwardly, which was funny because I actually didn’t feel too awkward around him, oddly enough.

‘’So…what’s this about?’’ he asked cautiously.

‘’Oh nothing, just wanted to see how your evening is going,’’ I said coolly, leaning on the bar. He hesitated.

‘’My evening? Well, it’s going pretty good, I guess.’’

‘’That’s great to hear, Zacky. Now answer me this: did you hit puberty yet?’’

He blinked. ‘’I would assume so.’’

‘’Okay, wonderful. So it’s safe to assume, then, that you’ve grown a pair of balls?’’

He looked like he was searching for the nearest exit. ‘’Where is this conversation going?’’ he asked.

‘’I’m just trying to see if my suspicions are correct, that’s all.’’ At this he nibbled on his lip, probably out of nervousness.

‘’Suspicions about what?’’

‘’Your intentions with my best friend.’’

Zacky shuffled around uncomfortably, stuffing his hands in his pockets. ‘’I don’t have any intentions with her. Dawn’s just a friend.’’

‘’Ah, but that’s what they all say. I’m not fucking blind, you know. If you’re going to make a move then god damnit, do it already, but I swear to god, Thor, Zeus and the makers of Cheez-Its that if you hurt her, in any way, shape or form so help me I will make sure they never, ever find your body. I’m not fucking around, Zacky. You seem like a nice enough guy so don’t prove me wrong.’’ With this I gave him one last hard look before stalking off, stealing a shot from a nearby table.