Shield Me From the Storms

A blur of red blocked my vision as I stared after the retreating form of Dani in the dark. I felt my brows furrow as I once again pictured a dog with its tail between its legs.
Sophia turned to me in the passenger's seat, a look of annoyance on her face. “Are you gonna take me home or watch Dani's bedroom window all night?”
I blinked, mechanically putting the car in drive and pulling back into the road. “You didn't think that was a bit weird?” I glanced at her, a frown etching wrinkles into my face.
“Think what was weird?”
I could have smacked her. “Come on, Soph. You're not that oblivious. He was desperate to get away from me. We live across the street from each other!”
Sophia shrugged. “Maybe you stink.”
“Sophia, I'm serious.”
She sighed. “Look, I don't know. I didn't notice anything different about him. He's a weird, jumpy kid. I'm used to it by now.”
My frown deepened, if it was even possible. “He's deathly afraid of me, Soph. I don't get it. One minute we're getting along great. The next he can't wait to escape.”
Soph took a long moment to respond, staring out the window. “Maybe he's afraid of the relationship.”
“What?”
She turned to me again, her eyes twinkling. “Maybe he's afraid of commitment. It's obvious he likes you, Josh. But maybe he can't handle what it takes to form a relationship.”
I ran a hand over my fro, deciding I needed to really give it a trim. “So what do I do? I've dived into this head on, Soph. I haven't had a boyfriend since 5th grade. I can't just turn the other way and pretend I've never lo.. liked him.” Shit. I can't believe I almost said love. There's no way. No freaking way. Not yet. I barely know the kid.
Fortunately, Sophia didn't take notice to my almost royal screw up. “Just keep trying, Josh. He'll come around.” She reached towards her door and opened it. It was then that I realized we had been parked in her driveway for almost twenty minutes. Soph turned before leaving, leaned into the car, and kissed my cheek in the way she does when I need comfort.
I smiled. “Thanks, Soph. See you Monday.”
She smiled back. “Bye Joshy... take care of that sexy black ass for me.” And she shut the door.
I barked out a laugh, shaking my head at her as I pulled out of her driveway and headed home. Across the street from the boy that now plagued my every thought.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back at school on Monday, everything went straight back to normal. Dani joined us in our hallway adventures, he shared lunch at our table, he even went to my soccer...er football game with Sophia that evening. Except... everything wasn't normal. I was falling head over heels in love with this guy and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Yeah. Love. I said it. I spent all weekend kicking and screaming, but I finally admitted to myself that yeah... I could love Dani. I probably did a little already and it was growing by the day.
I hated it. I don't think I could handle another person I love rejecting me, forgetting about me, or even hating me.
We won our game 17-1, half the goals belonging to moi. Sophia was so excited for me she actually kissed me on the mouth, but I was so pumped I didn't even care. I pulled her and Dani into a huge, sweaty bear hug. Sophia then promised to take us out to ice cream if I let go and stopped ruining her favorite shirt with my sweat.
After a quick motivational speech with my coach and team, Sophia drove us to a local coffee shop that served ice cream and bought us all a big scoop of on a giant, delicious waffle cone.
We sat at a booth, chatting lightly about the game, calling out bloops and jerks from the other team. Sophia talked about this hot guy she met and how they exchanged numbers and all that flirty jazz. All the while, I couldn't keep my eyes from Dani for more than a few seconds at a time. We met gazes several times.. jeez, I hope he didn't think I was being creepy. I wanted to tell him I couldn't help it, he was beautiful, but I felt like that wouldn't help my case in the creepy category.
Suddenly, when I was mid sentence about this awesome goal I made, my phone blared loudly on the table, shaking as it rang. Confused, because the only person that actually calls me anymore is Soph, I picked it up and brought it to my ear.
Linda's voice bombarded my senses. “Josh, you need to come home! It's your mother -” A loud, screech interrupted her, followed by a crash. Oh, no.... “She's throwing fits, breaking things, yelling about your father. Come home now and calm her! She's had a relapse, she needs help.” Mommy...
I jerked into a standing position, slamming my phone shut.
“Josh?!” Sophia exclaimed in exasperation.
I looked at her wildly, panic setting into my system. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Not again.“I'm sorry,” I whispered and sprinted out of the parlor, into the street, and all the way home.

*~*~*~*

I jumped through the door of my house, having heard the screaming from the front lawn. I could pick out Linda's voice trying to yell some sense into my mother's head, but she wasn't listening. I came upon them in my mom and dad's old room, my mother cowering in a corner, however her voice giving her a sense of strength I haven't recognized in a long time. Linda turned and noticed my presence, immediately backing away.
It was then that I noticed my mother was holding a knife, a large steak knife that could easily kill someone with one thrust into the stomach. I slowly walked towards my mother, silent.
Her lips trembled with whimpers, incomprehensible words spilling out. Her body shook with tremors, her hair a wild, curly mess a top of her head. The dress she wore was torn in several places, her elbows and arms scuffed from fighting or maybe even breaking something.
“Hey, Mom.” I murmured, trying to come off as nonthreatening as possible. “Your dress is very beautiful today.”
I noticed the lump she swallowed back. “St-stay away from me, boy.”
I stopped. “Come on, Mom. It's time for bed.”
Her eyes glanced towards the bed on our right. “Not in that bed. Not in this room. I – I can't stand the voices I hear in this room, Joshy.”
I nodded in understanding. “I know, mommy. Come to my room, you can sleep in there.”
“With you?”
I smiled encouragingly. “Yeah, mom. With me. I'll protect you.” It was then I had finally reached her after taking small, barely noticeable steps. I slid the knife from her fingers and held it behind me. Linda took it from my hand and ran for the door, probably leaving a resignation letter on the counter.
My mom's dark eyes, the same ones I have, bore into me. It was as if she was searching my soul, my entire body went cold. Her small, frail hand curled around my own and my heart jumped in surprise. Her other hand cupped my cheek, as if seeing me for the first time.
“Your father always did this when he held me. And he did it to you, too, when you were just a baby.” Her hand fell away from my face, sadness enveloping her. My eyes watered with tears, but I held them back for the sake of my mom. She needed me, a rock to hold her sagging heart.
I led her to the dresser and helped her out of her dress and into a cotton nightgown. We then entered my bedroom and lied on my bed, on top of the covers. Kicking off my cleats, I held my mom's hand and cupped her cheek as she drifted off to sleep.